This is a one shot btw. :) I've been thinking about writing this all along and the moment i wrote the title, the hands just couldn't stop. there are no pairings, sry!
Hope that you will like it! Please review!
Always
You will fight….
You will struggle…
But you will always kneel…
Clint didn't really remember what happened when he was under Loki's control. Just snippets here and there.
He didn't really remember what he was thinking, maybe he did not even think at all. He just did whatever he was told to. Everything that Loki ordered him to do seem to be 'common sense'. There were no questions, no doubt. Just actions.
It was like he was aware of everything that was happening around him, but yet, it seemed like as if everything was happening so fast, sweeping him along. What was demoralizing was that he did not resist. Heck, in fact he felt as if he was doing the right thing all along.
That is until he woke up.
Waking up to a blinding headache and straps around your wrists is not a good experience at all. But Clint had been worse.
It wasn't like everything came rushing back to him, when Natasha told him everything. He did not kneel on his knees and looked up at the sky and scream, "What have I done!"
He just nodded and prayed that no emotions leaked out from his mask, but Natasha understood.
"It isn't you. It is Loki."
The only thing that he could do was to smile slightly at his partner, gratitude visible in his eyes. He could not think about what he had done when he was under Loki's control, he did not have the time. The next thing he knew, he was running about, trying to save his own ass from the aliens.
It wasn't like he could predict when his quiver was running dry.
After the excitement and adrenaline washed passed, he felt… empty.
All he wanted to do was to just burry his head into the pillow and shut his mind and body off. That was his original plan, but Steve appeared magically out of nowhere and had to literally drag him to the medical bay.
He did not do it on purpose. Bruce was just tending to the deep cut on his forehead when his hand accidentally brushed against Clint's cheek and it came away as wet. Clint expected him to comment or even show pity, but Bruce just blinked and continued to clean up his wounds. For that, he was grateful.
Even before he manage to pounder over what exactly he had done, Tony pounced on him. Claiming that he had caught a master marksmen and assassin by surprise and he had to do a forfeit. The forfeit was to play Wii Mario cart with him and see who can last longer and could be in the top ranking for subsequent races. It was actually no problem for Clint and he was confident that he would surely win. But try playing it with Tony Stark's latest invention of television and speakers, and everything was so loud and in 3D. Both of them did not last for than seven hours.
Clint did not think about Loki for the next whole week, too busy 'negotiating' with Tony about the winner of the forfeit.
Just as things had started to calm down and Clint was somewhat left alone, Thor sat by him during one night. The silence was awkward, but the moment was memorable. Clint had never imagined that the god of thunder could be so soft and gentle. Thor broke the silence by talking about the his childhood with Loki, and the next moment, words came tumbling out of Clint's mouth as he talked about his doubts and fears. They talked until the dawn, and ended with Thor laughing bitterly, "God, I realized how screwed up my childhood has been."
His heart felt lighter after that.
Steve was there like a drill sergeant, making sure that Clint slept, took his meals three times a day and such. Clint swore that his ears were ringing when he forgot about lunch.
He sparred with Natasha daily, he put all his hopelessness and helplessness inside it and she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying it.
"Come 'ere." She raised a cocky eyebrow after she picked herself off the mat. She beat the crap out of him after that.
Each time when he walked through the corridors, some agents still held the same respect for him while some shot him dirty looks. But each time when one of them sneered at him, a second later, their faces were replaced by fear and when Clint followed their terrified gaze, he saw the rest of the Avengers members glowering at them.
His heart still ached for Coulson. That's why even the always poker faced Nick Fury gave him three weeks of leave, giving him no space for objections. Nick also made sure that at least one member of the Avengers is by his side. Even though sometimes it could be a bit annoying, Clint still appreciated it.
The darkness of his mind caused by Loki was still there, but now, it was only a shade of grey.
The craving for Coulson, his light comforting touches of his handler was still missed, but now, they were only unforgettable memories, forever stored in his heart and mind.
You will fight…
You will struggle…
But always remember that we are here, by your side…
So never give up…
And keep going…
Did you like it? I'm not really sure about writing one shots as rarely any people give feed backs when i wrote them. So if i receive a good response, i shall consider to write more of them. :)