Of all the messes I've ever landed myself into, of all the near-apocalypses and evil maniacs, the alternate timelines, the outmatched fights, I don't think there was once a moment where everything went so far down the drain as right now. Really. I'm sitting here, thinking about it, like, really hard, and nothing compares. It's silly how doomed I am.

Maddie's just standing there, on the other side of the kitchen. Mom. I should really call her Mom. Mom, my mother, the big "M", is standing in full ghost-gear, staring at me like I've grown another arm. Her fingers are still half-inside her oven mittens. Her goggles are still on, as red as blossoms in bloom.

She's tried to say something a couple of times, now, but her mouth is more a fly trap than a mouth at the moment. She's different from Jack, from Dad, in that way. He'd have shot me to high heaven by now. Attack first, scream first, accuse first, ask his stupid questions later, that's his thinking.

No, Maddie's different like that. At least she's trying to work out what the hell she's seeing before she blows me open.

I know I need to say something, now. There's a shit-tonne of excuses in my head, prepped just for this moment, practiced in the goddamn mirror for this precise, inevitable moment. Oh, Mom, don't worry, it's a Halloween prop. Yeah, I got the paint from, um, Tucker. We're testing it out now so we have a few months to get it just right. I scared you, didn't I? Just let me go to the bathroom for about an hour, I'll clean it all up, and we'll never speak of this again.

My mouth won't freaking move.

Yeah, we had to use so much thread, you won't even believe it. That's not the actual inside of my neck you're seeing, it's, um, an, an illusion. With mirrors and shit. And paint. See, that's why I've been missing school, I've been focusing on becoming... a makeup artist... no, don't take a closer look, that'll ruin the effect - look, I'll just head upstairs now, dinner was lovely...

I can't believe how goddamn careless I was. Ghost fight before dinner? Why not? Forget to put on a bandage, why not? Forget to check the stitches, forget to make sure your head doesn't fall off at the table, why the hell not?

'Um,' is about all that comes from my mouth. Better than nothing, I guess. Maddie lets the mittens fall from her hands and I swear them hitting the floor is a seismic event. Her lips make little pops as they jolt into action, smacking, pursing, but her voice hasn't caught up yet and she's silent as the fish she looks like. At least she's moving again. I suppose that's a plus.

'I can explain,' I squeak. And that's just about the most suspicious thing that's ever been said.

She stops gaping and goes to lean against the counter, misses a bit, stumbles. I'd move to help her but the situation is bad enough as it is and if my head comes off completely then dear God I'm up to my freaking eyes in trouble -

A little half-grunt half-whimper thing comes from her throat after she's caught her balance. It takes a while for me to realise it means she wants me to continue, wants me to explain. That's a good thing, right? She's willing to listen, I should take this chance, I should, I should...

And my mind goes completely blank.

A few seconds pass in complete silence. I still haven't thought of any mess bigger than this. Freakshow? Crazy, but defeatable. Vlad? Persistent, but he has his boundaries. Evil alternate future self? Probably the worst so far, but I still won that fight in the end.

Here? Now? This isn't an enemy, this is Maddie, my mom, this isn't a problem I can solve by just blasting it to the ends of the earth. How can I win the fight when there's no fight to win? How can I deal with something like -

Oh man. Ohh man, she's coming this way, shit.

My chair clatters to the floor behind me as I jump back and for a second the room tips, I feel like I'm spinning, I'm falling,

I catch my head just soon enough to keep it upright, to save the last few stitches, though they've been loosened enough to be mostly useless now. I let out a breath, God that could have been worse, and with my hands clasped around my neck as tight as I dare, I sidestep to the door.

Maddie's at the door.

'Oh,' I say, like an idiot, trying to shuffle by, 'I'm, uh, I'm just gonna, gonna go to the bathroom, you know, go get rid of the Halloween paint - it's Halloween, you know, and, mirrors, Tucker's a makeup practice, uh, I'm totally not - totally not...'

Her hands are on my cheeks. My cheeks are about a foot higher than they should be.

I give her a long, blank stare as I feel the last broken threads tumble onto my chest, soaked with my luminescent green blood, slowly steaming as it dissolves them like acid. I can't see her eyes behind her goggles, ruby red, rust red, the red that blood should be. I can't see her eyes, but I can see her mouth, and I can work out her expression.

Horror.

'...totally not a ghost,' I whisper.

AN

yeah so i'm not continuing this cos i think it's better to keep it as vague as possible, heh, or literally everything becomes a plot hole. but i am thinking about reviving this account soon so idk stay tuned for maybe another oneshot or something-edit 01.06.15