Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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The pain, it swallows him whole.
It engulfs him like a flame until he's burnt to the ground.
A burnt ember, only lightly flickering as it's kicked around on the ground, the breeze lightly carrying it. Only barely surviving.
That's how he feels.
::
It's easier to destroy everything in his path.
Causing wreckage, mayhem, havoc, chaos.
It's easier than crying over a father that didn't even love him.
It's easier than letting someone love him.
::
And it's unbearable.
The way he's living.
Destroy. Destroy. Destroy.
(That includes himself.)
Self loathing, self hate.
Not letting others in, not letting others love him because he's not good enough.
Because Bart had told him time and time again.
So he's going to show him, be not good enough in memory of Bart.
::
It's like daggers in his chest.
Family. You need to be with your family.
What family?
The dead mother he killed.
The dead father that never loved him.
Lily, Serena, Erik.
They didn't love him, they just felt sorry for him.
An orphan.
He was an orphan.
(He kind of always was.)
::
Chuck, your father wouldn't of wanted this.
No, because he would be an embarrassment.
No, but this is what Bart thought of him.
Nothing but a drunken mess pushing everyone away.
(And he was right.)
He's going to show the dead man that he's right.
::
Please don't turn away from the people that love you.
Love him?
It made him want to laugh, who could possibly love him?
He fucked things up, he didn't care.
Who could love that?
That monster.
::
He's going to set his life on fire.
Watch it burn, orange flames flapping around him.
Engulfing the life he used to have, and leaving him with one that was scorched, burned, tainted.
And he'll burn, burn, burn.
::
Why do we bother with love when it never lasts?
He doesn't believe in it.
The misconception of love.
It's a marketing strategy.
Maybe it's a way of survival.
Because he has seen love before, all around him.
He's just never seen it directed at him.
(And the few times he has, he doesn't believe it, he can't believe it.)
::
So he dangles on a ledge, not caring, not worrying.
Because in a way he's lost everything.
And in a way he hasn't, because he had nothing to start with.
A\N: I was inspired to write this after watching a Chuck Bass video. PM me for the link and I'll find it for you. I don't know what this is but I like it so I'm gonna post it instead of throwing it out.