Author's Note: This isn't a new story, I've just decided to go back through some things to edit them.
I think I'm gonna trash "More" honestly. I'm just not happy with it anymore. I'm not happy with any multi-chap fic I've written anymore but I'm hoping to change that with the release of the "Sparrowkeet Series". More about that on my page.
Content warning: Nothing super graphic, but there's definitely mentions of sex in here.
Peter Pan
-or-
you only care about yourself, don't you?
Her mother reads her Peter Pan as a child. Jade is five and in love with the idea of running to Neverland and never growing up.
"Oh, Jadey," says her mother, smiling dreamily, "Wouldn't it be great to be just like Wendy?"
But Jade isn't thinking about a boy without a shadow coming to save her with fairy dust, she's finding a way to grow her own wings.
"I want to be Peter," she says instead.
Her mother smiles at her with eyes that almost cry. "I did too."
Jade's mother kills herself when Jade's only eleven years old. It was a car accident with Jade in the backseat because the front seat airbag hasn't worked since before they bought the car.
Mrs. West sped down the street (Look Jadey, we can fly!) and Jade's eyes are wide and her mouth is open in fear (Mom, stop it, slow down!) and her mother flies right into an intersection.
The car is totaled and Jadey's heart is broken.
She stares at the body in the casket, her electric blue eyes clouded over with ice.
She shifts uncomfortably in her chair, the hard metal hurting her from where she's been sitting for the past hour.
"Stop that, Jadelyn," her father hisses under his breath.
She glares at him with accusing eyes, her mother's eyes, wondering how he was ever her mother's knight in shining armor when he looked so much like the town fool.
But she does stop fidgeting. She stops moving, even holds her breath when she stands up to put a single yellow rose on her mother's grave.
But Jadey doesn't cry. Jadey never cries.
Because neither does Peter Pan.
She's twelve when she meets Tinkerbelle. Catarina Valentine has bright red hair like red velvet cupcakes and big brown eyes like a puppy dog.
Jade instantly hates her.
She pushes her in the halls sometimes and knocks down her books and Cat still calls Jade her best friend ever.
One day Jade sees Cat kiss a boy. Cat runs over to her after, squealing "That was my first kiss Jade, my very first!" and then Jade scoffs and tells her to shut up.
Later that week Jade and Cat sees Cat's boyfriend (Danny? Tyler? Michael?) kissing another girl.
Cat bursts into tears at the sight and Jade walks right over and launches her fist at Danny-Tyler-Michael right in his pretty little nose. He cries like a baby.
When Jade gets back to Cat all bloody knuckles and sorry eyes, Cat throws her arms around the brown haired girl and cries more. "Thank you, Jadey!"
Jade freezes and her eyes water but she doesn't cry even one bit. Instead she pats the smaller girl on the head and shrugs. "Wanna get some cupcakes, Kid?"
Jade doesn't like red velvet but she eats every single bite.
Jade is thirteen when she sleeps at Cat's house for the first time.
Cat called her at two in the morning, screaming and crying that her parents were out of town and her brother had scary friends over and "Jadey please come over, I'm not brave like you, I don't want to be alone!"
Jade's heartstrings tug and she sighs. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."
She guesses that she should be more afraid of walking five blocks down the street at two in the morning but she's got scissors in the pocket of her jacket and her pepper spray has the safety taken off.
Jade climbs in through the window because Cat's brother is crazy and everyone tries to avoid him.
"You're here, Jadey!" Cat exclaims, throwing her arms around her dark haired friend.
"Of course I am, Kid," Jade says, patting her on the head. She sees Cat's pink fluffy princess bed and she automatically wonders how anyone can own so much pink.
Cat tugs her over to the fluffy monstrosity, throwing back the covers so they both can get under the blankets.
Jade stays sitting up, deciding she'll put Cat to sleep before she goes to bed (not that she'll ever say it out loud) and Cat seems to know because she snuggles close and puts her arms around Jade's waist like a small child.
"Can you tell me a story, Jadey?"
Jade stiffens because bedtime stories were always too personal for her (she uses the term 'stupid').
"Please?" Cat asks, batting her big dark lashes up at Jade.
Jade sighs.
She recites Peter Pan word for word.
Jade is fourteen when she meets a lost boy. He's all tan skin and charming smiles and she raises her newly pierced eyebrow at the grays and blacks of his outfit.
He's good looking, she notices. She makes a note to say away from him.
"I'm Beck," he says, coming up to her and Cat one day.
"We never asked," Jade replies, rolling her eyes and picking at her salad.
Cat smiles back, dimples forming on her cheeks. "I'm Cat."
Jade can see in his eyes that he's instantly smitten, the way everyone is when they first see Cat. His eyes light up and he looks at her like she's precious, like he'll protect her.
Jade doesn't trust him.
She grabs Cat's wrist, firm but not bruising, and stands up, "Leave us alone." And she drags Cat away from the lost boy.
Peter Pan and Tinkerbelle make their way back to Neverland.
That same year Jade, Cat, and Beck get accepted to Hollywood Arts. Jade's best friend is still Cat but Cat's best friends are Jade and Beck and Beck doesn't know where he stands with Jade other than "You can't date Cat, I won't let you fuck her over."
"I don't want to date Cat," he replies rolling his eyes, "She reminds me of my niece."
She still isn't nice to him but she's definitely not pouring water on his head for looking at Cat the wrong way.
On their first day, they meet two more lost boys. Robbie and Andre don't really fit in with anyone but them and the only reason they fit in with Jade, Cat, and Back is because they don't fit in with anyone else either.
They're mish-mashed together in a way that works and Jade isn't particularly fond of any of them but Robbie looks at Cat like he needs her to breathe and Jade isn't worried that something will happen between them because Robbie's much too cowardly to make a move.
Beck tries to introduce a girl to the group (Cynthia? Sally? Samantha?) and she's got blonde hair and blue eyes and shows too much teeth when she smiles.
"Let's go out to lunch, Becky," she whines, her too-pearly whites momentarily blinding everyone.
"We are eating lunch Stacie," Beck replies, rolling his eyes at the ''nickname'.
"Becky!" Cat chirps, a bright smile at her face, "Becky Becky Bec—"
"Jesus Christ Cat, just shut up," the girl says and she barely has time to roll her eyes before a lukewarm coffee is thrown at her face and her bright white shirt.
"Jadey that was mean!" Cat scolds but Robbie, Beck, and Andre can see the gratefulness in her eyes.
"Why are you still here?" Jade says instead, turning to the fuming blonde, "Was that not obvious enough for you?"
"Beck!" Stacie whines, glaring at the brown-haired girl, "Aren't you gonna do anything?"
Beck looks genuinely confused. "Like what?"
Stacie groans in frustration. "You're such a bitch, Jade!"
This time Jade walks around the table carrying Robbie's can of Hawaiian Punch and pours the sticky red drink all over Stacie's head. "So?"
Stacie doesn't sit with them anymore. No one else ever tries.
Beck and Jade still don't talk much but he still asks her out on a date a month later.
Cat squeals excitedly and Jade stares at him as if he's grown an extra head. "Are you high?" she asks instead of answering.
"Maybe," he says shrugging his shoulders, "Does it matter?"
She rolls her eyes at him. "Don't be stupid."
"Jade," he says firmly, standing in front of her and Cat, "I'm asking you out."
She scoffs. "I got that," she says, "I just don't get why."
His brow furrows in confusion. "Because I like you?"
Jade raises an eyebrow at him, a disbelieving look on her face. "I thought I just told you not to be stupid."
She walks off, Cat trailing behind her.
Beck asks Jade out again by her locker later that week.
"I liked you better when you were scared of me," she tells him, rolling her eyes at his second attempt at wooing her.
"You cut all your hair off in class and it freaked me out, okay?" he says, defending himself, "Anyway, I think you should consider it."
"Consider what?" she asks, already bored as she thinks about which books she needs for homework.
His jaw drops. "Going out with me!" he groans, "Do I really bore you that much?"
"Don't take it personally," she says instead, slamming her locker shut and walking away, "Later."
"Bye," he says absentmindedly. By the time he gets back to his senses, it's too late. "Wait Jade, you didn't answer my—"
Beck asks out Jade four more times before he does it right.
He's got her three favorite things in his arsenal: coffee (black with two sugars), scissors (in the form of a pair of earrings), and Cat (Can we still get ice cream if she says 'no' after this, Beck?).
He rolls his eyes at the question. "Have a little faith, Kitty Cat."
"Kaykay," she answers instead, smiling brightly as they approach Jade at the stairs, "Hi Jadey!"
Jade looks up but doesn't smile (Cat knows better than to take it personally now) and raises a flawless eyebrow at the pair.
"What?" she asks expectantly.
"Nothing," Beck replies nonchalantly, "I brought you some coffee. Two sugars."
Her eyes widen but she doesn't respond, taking the offered cup and bringing it to her lips for a sip.
"And I've also brought you a Cat," he says, flashing her a charming smile and gesturing to their red-haired friend.
"I've been brought!" Cat smiles, sitting down next to Jade.
"And there's another surprise," Beck tells her, nodding at Cat. Cat reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small box with the small black scissor earrings inside. Jade raises an eyebrow as she hands the box to Beck and he holds them out to Jade.
"Jade West," he says, looking into her bright blue eyes, "Will you go on a date with me?"
"Don't you get tired of being rejected?" she asks, rolling her eyes.
"Not if it's by you," he answers honestly, "What's one date gonna hurt?"
Jade sighs and turns away from him without answering or taking the earrings.
"I think you should go on a date with Beck, Jadey," Cat says, absentmindedly taking candy out of her backpack.
Jade eyes Cat suspiciously. "Why?"
Cat shrugs but puts on a bright smile. "Because he calls me Kid sometimes like you do and you both dress kinda the same and because he eats red velvet cupcakes with me sometimes even if he doesn't like them and you do that too."
"So you think I should go on a date with him because we're the same?"
"Yup!" Cat chirps, nodding her head, "And he promised to buy me ice cream if you said yes."
"What if I say no?" Jade asks, looking at Beck with a raised eyebrow.
"I haven't decided yet," Beck says, looking at her hopefully, "I was hoping you weren't going to say no."
"You're kinda cocky," she says, flipping her medium-length brown hair over her shoulder and looking him up and down, "But sure I guess."
"How many times do I have to ask you out before you say—" he suddenly cuts himself off as his eyes widen, "Did you just say yes?"
She rolls her eyes again. "One condition."
"Anything," he says, nodding at her and looking as if he's won the lottery even though she still hasn't take then earrings.
"We take Cat with us."
Beck and Jade end up sleeping together after their first date. They bring Cat home and end up going to Jade's empty house (her father and stepmother nowhere to be found) and one thing leads to another and the other thing leads to heated kisses and "Shut up, stop saying my name like that" and "Why are you kissing me? We're fucking, not making love."
"I think I'm in love with you," he tells her, lying on her bedroom floor, sweaty and spent.
She scoffs at him, covering her body with the dark grey blanket they dragged with them. "Don't be an idiot."
"You don't think anyone can love you?" he asks, obviously confused.
"Of course they can," she replies, rolling her eyes, "I just don't think you can."
"Why not?"
"Because you don't love anyone but yourself," she says, staring up at her blank white ceiling.
"Then why would you sleep with me if you don't think I can love you?" he asks. He realizes he should be more careful around this girl, make sure not to mistake her fanned out brown hair for a halo.
"Because I don't want you to."
Beck gets matching necklaces on their first anniversary. They're simple gold rings on black cord.
"Wear it," he tells her, smiling happily.
She eyes the necklace in his hand, raising an eyebrow. "Why?"
His smile doesn't falter. He knows better than to show weakness now. "Because we'll match."
"Matching is stupid," she says, rolling her eyes at him.
"Jade," he says, looking her in the eye, "We've been together for a year. It's our anniversary. Can't you just humor me?"
"Isn't that all I do?" she asks, taking the necklace and putting it on anyway, "Happy?"
"Always," he smiles at her, putting his hands on her waist to plant a kiss on her lips. "I love you."
She offers a small smile, barely noticeable. "Yeah."
Jade still doesn't let him kiss her when they make love (It's not making love, Beck, it's fucking).
"But why won't you let me kiss you?" he asks, rolling onto his side to face her.
"You kiss me all the time," she says, pulling his sheets up to cover her chest, "I don't get why you have to do it during sex."
"It's nice," he says, defending himself, "It feels more… I don't know. Intimate."
She stares at the fish tank on his bedside table. "Why would you want that? Can't you just be happy we're even having sex?"
"Of course I am," he says, rolling his eyes at her, "But you always feel so far away. I feel like you'll just disappear one day."
She stares at his dandelion yellow ceiling of his RV, a habit she's always had after sex. "I will," she tells him.
Beck feels like this is the first time she's ever said anything so honest to him and he's terrified.
They meet Tori Vega a few months after their second anniversary.
Jade swears she sees a hook on one of Tori's hands.
Tori is all smiles and soft brown eyes, the complete opposite to Jade's perpetual scowl and sharp tongue.
When Tori and Beck kiss in front of the class during the alphabet game, Jade feels her fairy dust weigh her down.
She sits in her seat, fuming even after Beck sits down next to her and apologizes.
"You kissed her in front of the whole class and you think sorry will fix it?" she hisses at him, narrowing her eyes as she slams her locker shut.
"What else do you want me to say?" he shoots back, looking at her exasperatedly.
"Jade," Tori pipes, her voice squeaking in fear, "I'm sorry, I jus—"
"This doesn't concern you," Jade is yelling now and even Cat cowers in fear behind Beck. Jade's eyes soften at her red-haired friend and she lowers her voice but is still livid. "Why are you still here?"
"Because I told her she could be," Beck answers, defending Tori's place, "It's not like it means anything."
Jade's eyes widen, her jaw dropping open for a split second before narrowing again. "Fine," she says, walking down the hall, the whole group following her. "Daniels," she calls and a tall boy with dark hair and eyes the color of storm clouds turns around.
"What the fuck are you doing, Jade?" Beck demands, grabbing her arm gently and whirling her around.
Cat gasps, covering her ears and Beck flinches and lets go of his girlfriend.
"Well, you're about to find out, aren't you?" She waltzes right over to Ryder Daniels, taking his face in her hands and planting a kiss right on his lips.
Robbie, Andre, Cat, and Tori are all speechless as students in the hallway stop to stare at the scene before them.
Jade smirks at Ryder when they separate, and Ryder looks at Beck with a malicious grin.
"I can't wait till you screw up again, Becky," Ryder scoffs.
Beck angrily shoves him into the lockers, losing his temper for the first time, and drags Jade out of school by her wrist.
No one sees them for the rest of the day.
The next time Beck and Jade are seen, the next Monday, they are made of smirks and hand-holding.
Tori, Andre, and Robbie are weary of the two but Cat plops herself right in between them and begins chattering away.
Jade doesn't smile but her eyes soften as Cat pulls out red velvet cupcakes to give to her and Beck.
"Cat," Beck says, smiling at her, "We don't like red velvet, remember?"
She smiles brightly at him. "I know but we always eat red velvet cupcakes together after you guys make up," she tells him.
Jade rolls her eyes and peels back the paper on the cupcake before taking a bite. Beck grins at her and does the same.
"Where have you guys been?" Tori asks, eyes wide at the normalcy of the scene.
Jade narrows her electric blue eyes at her and scoffs. "I don't see how that's any of your business."
Tori looks strongly offended as she looks to Cat or Beck to defend her. When no one does, she shifts gears. "We were worried about you guys!"
"Cat, cover your ears," Jade commands.
"Why?" Cat asks, furrowing her brow and frowning.
"Because I said so," Jade says in a way that leaves no room for argument, "Now."
Beck shifts uncomfortably as Cat does as she's told and Robbie and Andre look on in confusion.
"We've been fucking for the past three days," Jade says, looking the brown-eyed girl right in the eyes.
Tori blushes furiously and shifts her gaze down to her lunch. "Oh," she says, having the decency to look embarrassed, "I'm sorry, I just—"
"Don't know how to mind your own goddamn business?" Jade offers, a condescending smile on her face.
Tori visibly flinches as Cat uncovers her ears. "What's your damage, Jade?" Tori asks, frowning.
"My damage?" Jade asks, eyes wide with disbelief, "You mean other than you hitting on my boyfriend and then kissing him during your first day here?"
"Tori, drop it, okay?" Beck asks, sighing and rolling his eyes.
Tori looks astonished as her jaw drops. "You're telling me to drop it? She's treating me like crap!"
Jade scoffs at the girl's injured puppy face. "So?"
As much as she'd rather not, Jade eventually gets used to Tori's presence but she never calls Tori her friend.
Cat likes Tori and so do Beck, Andre, and Robbie but Jade stills feel like the girl can't be trusted so she never lets her guard down.
"She's nice," Beck says and he can practically feel Jade rolling her eyes as he nips at her neck.
She scoffs at him despite how good his ministrations feel. "Why would I care whether or not she's nice?"
"No reason," he says casually, continuing his work, "Cat likes her."
This time, Jade visibly freezes. "Shut up, Beck."
Knowing he's hit her soft spot for their red-haired friend, Beck tries to push it a little farther. "I'm just saying, they've been spending a lot of time together a—"
"I said to shut up," she hisses, moving away from his lips, "I don't wanna hear about how much Cat loves Tori fucking Vega." She stands, rolling her eyes and collecting all of her stuff.
He sighs in exasperation. "Jade, come on," he says, reaching a hand out to her, "I didn't mean it like that. Stay."
"Didn't you?" she snaps, challenging him, "Because I know you don't say things you don't mean."
He says nothing, just looks at her with tired eyes.
"You never change, do you Beck?" she mutters under her breath. At this confused look, she rolls her eyes again. "You're still a shit liar." She takes one last look at the RV, then to her boyfriend before shouldering her bag. "I'll see you tomorrow."
He tries not to notice how easy it was for her to leave.
The next time Beck sees her, Jade is leaning against her locker, Ryder Daniels leaning over her and their lips almost dangerously close.
He sees red.
He strides over to them, setting his shoulders back and puffing out his chest. "What's going on?" he asks, trying to sound casual.
Jade rolls her eyes and Ryder smirks. "We're just hanging out, Beck," she reassures him, patting him on the shoulder like she would a small child.
"It looks like flirting," Beck responds without thinking.
"It is flirting," Jade snaps, acid on her tongue.
"Well, stop," he groans out, obviously frustrated but unsure of what else to say.
She gives him a smile but he can see the cruelty behind her teeth. "It's not like it means anything," she says, quoting his exact words.
Beck's eyes widen, looking at her like he has no idea who she is. He clenches his fists, once, twice, before saying "Come here, Jade."
Jade rolls her eyes, smirking. "I'll see you later, Daniels," she says, moving over to her boyfriend and kissing him on the lips, "Let's go get some coffee."
"Oh, he's so cute!"
Cat's voice pierces Jade's ears, making her scowl as she places her lunch tray on the table. "Who's cute?" Jade asks raising an eyebrow as Beck takes the spot next to her.
"Ryder Daniels," Tori supplies, smiling dreamily.
Jade stiffens, something Beck takes a strong notice of. "Yeah, he's hot and perfect," Jade says, shrugging, "So what?"
"He asked Tori out," Cat squeals excitedly.
This time, Jade doesn't bother trying to hide that she's upset. "You can't go out with Ryder Daniels," she tells Tori in a way that leaves no room for argument.
"Why not?" Tori asks, frowning and furrowing her brow.
"Because he's mine," the brown-haired girl responds like it's obvious.
Beck looks at her with a confused expression on his face. "Jade," he says, placing a hand on her shoulder, "You're not dating Ryder Daniels."
"I know that," she snaps, rolling her eyes, "I'm dating you. But he's still mine and Vega can't have him."
"I'm not gonna turn him down just because you're jealous," Tori says, "You have Beck. You can't have them both."
Jade narrows her eyes at the girl before collecting her things and standing up. "Watch me," she says, and with that, she walks away leaving Beck behind.
Later that day, Beck and Jade are in the RV, kissing heatedly on his bed.
Beck pulls his shirt off and pulls her closer against his body, his tongue snaking its way into her mouth as she slides her nails down his back, leaving angry red marks. She smirks into their kiss at the way he bites her lip hard enough to draw blood before his phone starts to ring, interrupting them.
Beck groans at the annoying phone, looking at Jade apologetically before answering it.
She rolls her eyes and leans against the headboard, her arms crossed.
"Hello?" he answers, "Tori? What's wrong?" Jade can't understand what Vega is saying on the phone but she can hear how upset the girl is over whatever is happening. "Okay," Beck says, nodding his head, "I'll talk to her. Bye." He hangs up and looks at his girlfriend, playing with her hair.
"What?" she asks, raising her pierced eyebrow up at him.
"That wasn't nice," he says, giving her a pointed look, "You shouldn't have told Ryder not to go out with Tori."
Jade scoffs, rolling her electric blue eyes. "I wouldn't have had to if she'd listened to me," she shoots back, "I told her she couldn't have him and she was gonna go out with him anyway. It wasn't my fault he chose me."
"Jade," Beck says, turning to look her in the eye, "I need you to be honest with me, okay? Are you in love with Ryder?"
"Of course I'm not," she says, rolling her eyes, "He's in love with me."
"So why won't you let him date other girls?"
"Because he's in love with me," she says. Jade sees his confused look and sighs. "You're in love with me. I know that. But he's in love with me too. And one day, you'll stop loving me," she explains, picking at her nails, "But I don't want to stop being loved."
Beck tries not to note that Jade looks much older than she ever has.
Beck and Jade break up after Sinjin's game show.
Beck goes on dates. He tries to, at least.
He dates Meredith and Aubrey and Liz and Diana. They're all beautiful and all funny and all kind. They're all not Jade, and that's enough for a while.
But he still can't bring himself to sleep with them. Beck's never been the type to sleep around, despite his flirt reputation, and he hadn't really been able to master the art of picking up girls considering he'd been with the same one since age fourteen.
So for all their beauty and humor and kindness, Beck still thinks they're generic. Maybe he's cruel, but after Jade West, it's hard not to be.
Jade begins to date Ryder Daniels. Ryder brings her coffee and drives her to school. He brings Cat along whenever Jade tells him to and takes them both home. He fucks Jade and Beck tries not to notice the not-so subtle bite marks along his neck.
Still, Cat doesn't like him.
"I like him," Cat squeaks at Tori's accusation, "I just don't like him with Jadey."
"Why not?" asks Robbie, the ever-present Rex in his lap.
"He doesn't eat red velvet cupcakes even if he doesn't like them," Cat pouts, crossing her arms, "And he doesn't call me Kid or Kitty Cat."
Beck rolls his eyes but pats Cat on the head anyway.
"Besides," Cat continues around a mouthful of gummy bears, "Jade doesn't love Ryder like she loves Beck."
"How do you know?" asks Andre, confused.
Cat smiles brightly. "She told me!"
Robbie, Andre, and Tori look at Beck expectantly and he raises an eyebrow at them. "What? I knew that already."
Tori's jaw drops. "You knew that?" she almost screams, "Why don't you do anything about it?"
Beck shrugs. "Jade didn't make the decision based on who she loves more," he answers, rolling his eyes, "She'd never put herself out like that."
At their confused expressions, Beck sighs. "Jade makes decisions based on who she thinks loves her more."
Six months later, Ryder is hit by a car.
The doctors tell Jade that he was dead upon the impact. "He didn't feel a thing," they assure her.
Still, she doesn't cry.
The kids at school call her heartless and frigid. Probably because Ryder was on his way to her house when that drunken truck driver missed the red light.
Jade likes to be alone now but sometimes likes to be with Cat. She sits with Tori, Andre, Robbie, Beck, and Cat for lunch now but won't participate in conversation.
Actually, Jade doesn't talk much at all anymore, not that she ever did.
Jade is too busy dreaming of Neverland, where her mother and Ryder are, where they won't grow up or have any responsibility or jobs and they can just be happy.
She thinks Ryder would be a lost boy, like Beck and Andre and Robbie. Her mother would be a fairy, like Cat.
Jade would still be Peter Pan.
It takes three months until Jade is kind of okay again.
She still doesn't talk too much but she eats her lunch instead of just playing with it and doesn't just lie in bed all day.
She knocks on the door of Beck's RV at three in the morning, a book hugged tightly to her chest.
He opens his door, surprised to see her there, and then lets her in.
She automatically makes her way to his bed, under the blankets. Out of habit, he supposes.
He decides against asking what she wants. It's been hard for her, he knows it has.
He climbs in beside her, quietly, makes note of her shivering before sighing and laying down.
"Beck," she says, her voice hoarse. It's the first time she's said his name in months.
"Yeah?" he asks, looking at her.
Jade doesn't say anything back, just shoves the book into his arms and looks at him hopefully.
Beck turns on the lamp beside his bed and leans against the headboard before opening the book.
Beck reads Peter Pan.
Jade finally cries.