"I can't believe it's Christmas Eve again already," I told Collins as we climbed the stairs to Marks and Roger's apartment.
"Yeah, this time last year we woulda been sitting in Life Support."
"Watching Mark dig himself a hole."
Collins giggled. "I'm just here to, I don't have, I'm here with…"
"Poor Mark," I smiled. He had been so shy when I first met him, careful not to talk about me too much in case he referred to me by the wrong word. But he'd been so good to Roger, supporting him and Mimi…
I sighed.
"What?" Collins looked at me, concerned.
"Mimi," I explained. "This time last year, she was… happy, and safe, and… flirting ridiculously with Roger… And now no-one knows where she is. She could be anywhere! She could be sick, or dying, or… Collins, she could be dead! Why… why aren't we- "
Collins shut me up the only way he knew how: he kissed me until I couldn't even remember where I was, let alone what I was talking about.
"Did that help?"
"Help with…?"
Collins smiled. "I guess it did."
I searched my Tommy-infested brain. "Oh! Mimi! Seriously, honey, I'm worried about her."
"We all are, Angelcake."
We reached the sliding door of the loft and heard Mark talking.
"I wonder how Alison- "
"Muffy," we corrected him quietly.
"- found out about Mimi."
"Maybe a little bird told her," Roger suggested.
"Or an angel," Collins put in, hauling the door open. I melted. Of all the lame puns people had made on my name over the years, Collins' were always the cutest.
My honey reached into his coat pocket and pulled out two wads of twenties, handind one each to Mark and Roger.
"I had a little hunch you could use a little flow," he grinned.
Roger whistled appreciatively. "Tutoring again?"
"Negative."
"Back at NYU?" Mark guessed.
"No, no, no," Collins said with a knowing smile. "I rewired the ATM at the Food Emporium to provide an… honorarium, to anyone with the code."
"The code?"
Collins looked at me, and we grinned.
"Well?" Mark and Roger asked.
Collins beamed. "A-N-G-E-L," he announced.
"Nice," Roger laughed, playfully punching my shoulder.
"I'll be remembered forever," I grinned.
"Yet Robin Hooding isn't the solution," Collins frowned sternly, and informed us of his plans to overcharge those who deserved it at his restaurant in Santa Fe.
We were just about to pour out the first round of inevitable Christmas Eve drinks- Collins had brought more of his beloved Stoli- when we heard Maureen, of all people, calling from downstairs.
"Mark! Roger! Anyone? Help!"
Mark leaned out the window. "Maureen?"
"It's Mimi," she yelled desperately. "I can't get her up the stairs!"
"No!" Roger cried.
My heart did gymnastics, and I instinctively put my hand up to my mouth to bite my nails as we ran down the stairs. Collins managed to pull my hand away from my mouth and be totally focussed on Mimi at the same time.
She looked bad. She was in a sweat, but shaking at the same time. I held her hand, and her eyes flicked around the room, trying to focus on faces and familiar objects, as she whispered delirious half-nothings. Maureen said she and Joanne had found Mimi in the park, huddled up against the dark and the cold, begging to see Roger.
Mark cleared everything off the table.
"Over here," Roger murmured. "Oh, God…"
"She's been living on the street," Joanne explained, as I plumped some cushions behind Mimi's head.
"I'm shivering," she croaked, frowning as she tried to make her frozen fingers hold onto Roger's shirt.
"We can buy some wood, and something to eat," Mark offered.
"I'm afraid she needs more than heat," said Collins quietly.
"I heard that," Mimi snapped.
"Honey, call a doctor," I pleaded, searching for something to cool Mimi's burning head with. There was nothing.
"Don't waste your money on me, me, Mimi…"
Collins dialled frantically.
"Don't you people use teatowels or anything?" I cried, exasperated.
"I'm on hold!" Collins moaned.
"Oh, God," I whispered, watching Mimi cling to Roger, muttering something.
"Yes, we'll… oh, God…" He turned to me, and it was the first time I'd ever seen Roger look lost.
"Find a candle," he pleaded.
I returned to the kitchen and opened the nearest cupboard, only to find a shiny, little-used hotplate that somehow managed to look excited that someone was paying attention to it.
"No!"
I slammed the door in frustration, angry tears leaking from my eyes. Mimi could be dying out there, and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even find a freaking candle! I searched through every drawer in the entire kitchen, and eventually found one short, dirty white candle that looked like the previous owners of the loft had lost it.
Clutching my meagre offering, I went back to the main room to find total silence, save Roger's voice, singing to Mimi. He was telling her that he had always loved her- you could see it in his eyes.
I slipped past the table and found Collins, never taking my eyes off Mimi. She was trying to stay with Roger, but as we watched, her head rolled to one side and her hand slipped off his shoulder. He took her face in his hands and tried to wake hger, but she was limp in his arms.
"Mimi!"
He was so desperate, so lost and so broken, that my heart broke right there. I felt tears burning behind my eyes, and it was only when I reached up to wipe them away that I realised I'd been holding Collins' hand so tight that he'd started to bleed.
Roger buried his face in Mimi's neck, sobbing.
"This isn't right," I whispered, so quietly I could barely hear myself, afraid to break the silence in case the next moment brought with it the crushing reality of what was happening. "She's not…"
I couldn't say the word, couldn't possibly connect it to my Mimi, not even when she was lying there so lifeless on the table, with poor Roger so distraught next to her, powerless to bring her back even though she was the only thing in his life worth living for.
I closed my eyes, unable to look at the scene, and pressed my face into Collins; chest. He put his arms around me protectively. I tried to be glad of this small comfort, but the fact that Mimi was gone made it hard to be glad about anything.
Someone took a deep, gasping breath and started to cough. Collins' grip on me tightened, and I turned my head in time to see Mimi clutching at Roger's shirt.
"I jumped over the moon," she told him breathlessly.
Roger raised his head. "What?"
"A leap of… mooooooo…"
"She's back," Joanne gasped, squeezing Maureen's hands.
"I was… in a tunnel," Mimi frowned, as Roger helped her to sit up, "headed for this warm, white light…"
"Oh, my God," Maureen breathed, and let out an excited giggle.
Mimi started to laugh, and gasped for breath as she looked at me. "I swear," she rasped, "that stupid freaking akita was there."
I laughed, hiccuping through tears of relief.
"It was like… It was like she was telling me to turn back around and listen to this boy's song."
I couldn't contain myself. "I threw myself across the room and hugged her to me. "Mimi, chica, te quiero… era asi que asustado…"
"She's drenched." I could hear Collins' smile in his voice.
I let go to let Maureen feel Mimi's forehead. She turned to the rest of us. "her fever's breaking."
Mark looked around at us, his eyes reflecting the same wonderment we all felt. "There is no future, there is no past…"
"Thank God this moment's no the last," Roger smiled.
I turned to Collins as Mimi and Roger, lost in their own little bubble of live, began the Life Support affirmation.
"Never leave me, okay, Tommy?"
He replied by wiping a tear off my cheek and kissing the top of my head.
I looked around at the faces of my friends, all of us singing now, and knew we would abide by our hastily made New Year's resolution after all. We would stay together no matter what, because when we weren't together, we forgot how much we all meant to each other.
I caught Mark's eyes, and he grinned and turned on the projector set up in the corner of the room. Words flickered against the wall: "Today 4U, a Mark Cohen film."
It wasn't the documentary about random homeless bums we had been hassling him about at all. It was a collection of shots of all of us, laughing and kissing and spazzing and singing and being in love and living in New York: our entire lives reduced to two minutes. And it was good.
Inspired by love and life, we all belted out the one phrase we had lived the past year by, and the philosophy we had inadvertently taught each other.
"No day but today!"
…
Okay, sorry for my appalling Spanish… it's supposed to say "I love you, I was so scared". Feel free to correct it!
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