Where did we leave off... It's been years since I've had the inkling to share my thoughts and life stories. The world is a much different place. Meteor come and gone. Geostigma. Deepground.

But I'm gonna go back a little further. To the night that really changed everything for me...

All evening I lingered in the corner dragging on a cigarette. I wasn't really smoking - the cherry kept going out. It was simply to enjoy the red lipstick stains and the weight poised in between my fingers. Reno mingled, Tseng by his side. Ilia faithfully stood by me, arm rested into the crook of mine.

I hated these parties. I hated the people and everything they stood for. How could they possibly be celebrating with terrorist activity overtaking the city? It was clear the Shinra were targets of serious hate crimes, yet some of the most influential empolyees were all gathered in one place. Bad move if you ask me. So what if I'm paranoid.

Reno glanced at me with apologetic eyes. His attitude tottered between boredom and having a ball. I wondered why this was the life he chose. Then I smiled to myself because I knew exactly why.

Late that night we went for a dip. We lounged, staring up at the sky through the polished glass of our roof. Reno held my hand, and we clung to each other in a way that seemed like saying goodbye. I had never felt closer to him… or further away. I visually traced the outline of his profile while he gazed upward, eyes glazed over with thought.

He spoke, "I want you to go. Live at our house in Wutai."

"…Why?"

"There's some serious shit going down, and… I have a feeling the city's gonna turn into a battlefield." He broke his stare, glanced at me and caressed my face. "Baby, I want you safe."

After a moment of eyes locking he glanced back to the ceiling.

A long pause as I stared at him. "This has something to do with AVALANCHE."

Silence.

"Hm. That's what I thought. What's up?"

"I can't tell you… the company-"

"Fuck the company." I interrupted.

He turned and gave me a cool look. "If it were that easy..."

"It is. Reno, just tell me what's going on…and we'll find a way to make it better."

"Baby, please... the less you know, the better."

"Pft. Whatever with that cliche bullshit. Who the fuck do you think you're talkin to? I've been through thick and thin and knife fights and fucking in a pool of blood with you. And ya can't tell me what's going on?" I stood, wringing the water out of my hair. "I'll just go. Stay at Nami's tonight. If you don't wanna talk to me about what the fuck is happening."

Reno jumped up and grabbed my wrist. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you always get so dramatic?! Why are you so quick to run just cuz I said something you don't like?"

"You're asking me to leave, so I'm just doing it my own way."

There was a silence between us, as we stared each other down. I was tired, I felt tired, I'm sure I looked tired. Reno looked hurt, pleading….distressed.

He finally gave in. "Kira. I have to drop the sector 7 plate."

"…You what."

Another silence. I laughed and shook my head, tearing my gaze away from his. That's all it ever took with Reno… a look. "Shinra finally figure out AVALANCHE is hiding at Tifa's?" I smirked.

"Think about it," he shook his head, showing his inner frustration. "If they knew that, I wouldn't have to drop the entire plate, now would I?"

"Right. Then they narrowed it down, and now they're gonna murder - you're gonna murder - thousands of people just to get Tifa and her fuckin' boys? Tch. Reno, you know 7th Heaven is their hide out. Why don't you give up the info?"

"And risk the Shinra finding out I've been holding this information for so long? Traitors don't go unpunished…"

I knew that was the case, but I was still pissed. Disgusted with the corner we were backed into. "Ya know. You always made it seem like the Turks were their own separate entity…"

"We-"

"But when it really comes down to it, you're just Shinra's dogs. Funny isn't it, all the things you get away with because of your 'position' in the company, and here it is - coming to bite you in the ass. Not quite how you had it planned, huh?"

"If it wasn't for my 'position,' whether I'm Turk or dog or whatever, you wouldn't even be here right now."

"Yea, so it is. And I'm grateful for everything we've done together. But things are changing, all around us. And if you drop that plate… there is no way we can stay together. I'm no angel, but I cannot believe you are even considering this. For Shinra?! For a fucking illusion… for a non reality."

"It is a reality. And I chose it - and all the things it comes with. And I will do anything to keep us safe - to keep you safe."

"I rather us live together as fugitives. And as I said - if you do this, there is no 'us.'"

Only silence.

"Just go to Wutai. We'll work this out later." He got up and walked away. Reno's way of saying the discussion was over and his decision was final.

"Fine," I called after him. "Maybe it is for the best. I want to leave as soon as possible. Arrange a plane for dawn."

He spun around. "That's in a few hours."

"I'm aware."

"Kira, I'm not scheduled to drop the plate for another couple days. Can you stay a little longer?"

"Why? And pretend I don't know what's happening? Stay by your side 'til the last minute? No thanks."

"Kira..."

"What? I'm doing what you want. You can join me in Wutai if you like, and start a new life."

"Kira!" He rushed over to me and wrapped his hands around my arms, "You know I want to! But I can't. Whatever peace we'd find wouldn't last. Shinra'd just destroy it."

I knew he was right, I just so desperately wanted it to be different. The strain in mine and Reno's relationship as of late was obvious to not only us but everyone in our lives. We were changing as people, drifting onto two separate paths.

"I'll pack. You schedule the plane." With that I loosened myself from his grip and went to begin the arduous task of cramming my life into our fleet of suitcases.

I turned to look at him one more time... "Reno. Let go."

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