I'm really in the Christmas spirit and this popped in my head...
I don't own anything.
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He Is Real!
It was Christmas Eve and everyone was gathered at the loft, which was decorated with bright Christmas colors, and a great big tree that lit up the room. The only odd thing out of place was Mark's one Hanukah decoration his mother had bought him before he moved out.
In the living room everyone was surrounded around Collins as he excitedly shared a classic Christmas story. Everyone was enjoying how enthusiastic the professor was, especially Maureen who was sitting on the edge of her seat.
"I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter!" Collins excitedly said.
Maureen giggled and clutched onto Joanne, almost needing to hold onto something incase her excitement pulled her away. "It's him!"
Collins took in a breath and carried on, his big voice echoing through the loft. "Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!"
Finally the story came to an end and Collins stood up and recited the last line in the best Santa voice he could do: "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
Everyone clapped for Collins as he bowed and took a seat.
"Oh I'm can't wait until tomorrow!" Maureen cheered.
Roger rolled his eyes. "I can't believe she is twenty-eight and still doesn't know the truth yet…"
Mimi hit his arm trying to silence him, but it was too late Maureen was already questioning him. "The truth about what?"
Joanne gave the rocker a stern look, trying to keep him from ruining her girlfriend's Christmas spirit.
"Nothing Mo." Roger said with a small smirk and a shake of his head.
"For real…what is it?" Maureen asked her eyes landing on everyone.
"Nothing sweetie." Angel kindly smiled while placing a hand on her knee.
Maureen's eyes darted around the room again; she knew they were hiding some. "Tell me…I want to know the truth."
"Santa is allergic to milk." Mimi suddenly blurted, causing Maureen to gasp.
"Pookie is this true!?" Maureen asked. "All these years I've been giving him milk."
Joanne bit back a giggle and wrapped an arm around Maureen. "Uh yes honeybear…it's true."
"We have to go to the store now!" Maureen shouted. "We have to buy him soy milk!"
"Just give him a beer." Collins suggested.
Maureen's eyes widened, a grin growing on her face. "A beer…good idea! I bet I'll get extra gifts for that idea…no stupid whiny kid would ever think to give old Saint Nick a beer…"
"I'm sure he'll love it." Mark said with a smile, amazed that his ex-girlfriend still believed in Santa after twenty-eight years of her life.
"I know something even better…" Roger said with a raised eyebrow. "I bet yah the old guy would love sex." He finished while pulling Mimi on his lap.
"Hmm…" Collins nodded while pulling Angel closer. "Imagine that big bowl of jelly belly rolling around on you."
Maureen smirked with a twinkle in her eye. "Santa is kind of hot…"
"No…" Joanne smiled while pulling Maureen close. "You are not cheating on me with Santa."
Benny shook his head in disgust; he couldn't believe they led Maureen on like this. He did go along with it when he lived her, but he thought she would be over it by now…she was an adult for crying out loud, so out of rudeness he let himself slip. "Santa isn't real!"
Everyone's head shot towards the yuppie scum, all eyes shooting daggers into him.
"Yes he is…" Maureen quietly said as tears formed in her eyes.
"No he isn't Maureen." Benny stated firmly. "They are lying to you! How could Santa fly around the world in one night anyways?"
Maureen's heart sank as the words set in, her Christmas spirit slowly crumbling down bit by bit.
"He is real…how do you think I get all those presents on Christmas morning?" Maureen asked.
"Joanne buys them for you!" Benny said. "We all bought them for you when you lived with us…you're an adult now; it's time you knew the truth!"
"No!" Maureen shouted with a shake of her head, her feet pulling her into a standing position. "He is real!"
"Honeybear…"
Maureen pulled on her coat and ran out of the loft. "He is real!"
Joanne stood up and quickly put on her coat, her eyes boring into Benny. "Thanks a lot you fucking asshole! I hope you have a merry fucking Christmas!" she flipped him off before chasing after Maureen.
Benny was appalled by the lawyer's rude comment. Slowly he turned his head to face five angry faces.
"I knew you were still an ass fuck." Roger stated.
"I'm not giving you your Hanukah present." Mark said in a snotty tone before heading into the kitchen.
"Come on…she had to know, she's twenty-eight!" Benny argued.
"So!" Mimi shouted while throwing a pillow at his head. "There is nothing wrong with believing in Santa!"
After scolding Benny some more, Angel and Collins decided to leave. However before they made it home, a plan developed in the back of Collins mind.
"Ang we have to make a stop before we go home…" Collins grinned.
Angel only nodded and followed along.
Back at MoJo's apartment Maureen flopped on the bed crying. Joanne sat next to her and rubbed her back.
"He is real!" Maureen whined like a five year old, her cry muffled by the pillows.
"Don't listen to Benny…" Joanne said. "Why don't you go to bed and when you wake up tomorrow there we will presents waiting for you under the tree."
Maureen slowly turned around, her eyes puffy from crying. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Joanne nodded while kissing Maureen on the cheek.
"I want to sleep on the couch so I can see him." Maureen said.
Joanne froze…if she did that then Joanne wouldn't be able to put all the presents under the tree with out getting caught. "Um…you can't honeybear…"
"Why I used to do it all the time when I was a kid…"
"That's because you lived in a house…now that you live in an apartment you can't do that." Joanne quickly lied out of her ass.
"Why?" Maureen pouted.
Joanne shrugged. "I don't know baby, those are the rules."
"Oh…okay." Maureen said.
"So are you ready for bed?" Joanne asked with hope.
Maureen nodded as she climbed off the bed so she could get changed. She then set out a plate of cookies along with a beer, and headed back into the bedroom where she crawled back into bed and laid down, anxiously waiting for the next day.
It was a while before the excited drama queen fell asleep, and when Joanne knew she was in a deep slumber she quietly crawled out of bed and tip-toed into the living room, placing the presents under the Christmas tree one-by-one.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught someone peeking in through the window, the sight nearly making her shit her pants.
"Robber!" The lawyer yelled, but stopped when she recognized the guy standing at the window. Slowly she walked over, her eyebrows knitting in confusion as Collins stood out in the cold dressed in a Santa suit.
"Collins?" Joanne asked while opening the window.
"Hey…" Collins said while stumbling inside. "The drama queen asleep?"
Before Joanne could answer Maureen stumbled out of the bedroom wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Joanne what's with all the scream-"
Her question stopped when her eyes landed on the big jolly man. "He is real…" She whispered as her eyes stayed glued to 'Santa Clause'.
"Pookie…" Maureen pointed. "He's real look Joanne…Santa is standing in our living room."
Joanne couldn't help but smile. "I see him honeybear."
Collins cleared his throat before rubbing his big fake belly. "Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas Maureen!"
Maureen squealed in delight, before running over to wrap her arms around the man. "Oh Santa I knew you were real, I just knew it!"
"Of course I'm real. Why would you think other wise?"
"Because of Benny…" Maureen muffled into his shirt. "He's been naughty this year, don't give him any presents!"
"You can count on that."
Maureen finally pulled away, her eyes sparkling with happiness as she looked Santa in the eye. Her face however fell, and her eyes lost a little bit of the sparkle, Joanne and Collins now both worrying.
"Wait a minute…" Maureen trailed as she searched for something in 'Santa's' eyes.
"What…" Collins asked in his normal voice afraid he had been caught.
"Have you eating at all tonight Santa you look starved!" Maureen said while pulling back causing Joanne and Collins to let out a sigh of relief. "I left you some beer and cookies, I found out you are allergic to milk."
"How thoughtful of you." Collins said as he accepted the beer from Maureen and chugged it, before stuffing his mouth with cookies. "Thank you."
"No problem Santa." Maureen flirted with a wink, her finger lazily running up and down his arm.
"Okay Maureen it's time for me to go." Collins said remembering Angel was waiting for him in the cold.
Maureen pouted but nodded. "Okay…" She said and followed him to the window. "Make sure you bring all my friends presents, especially Collins."
Collins brightly smiled as he climbed out the window. "Will do Maureen. Now go back to sleep Joanne wants to snuggle."
Maureen giggled and waved before pulling her body out of the cold and back inside of the apartment. "He's real!"
Joanne couldn't help but grin as she watched Maureen's Christmas spirit rebuild itself. She also made a mental note to thank Collins for being such an awesome friend.
"Come on Joanne…Santa said you wanted to snuggle." Maureen said while grabbing the lawyer's hand and dragging her into the bedroom. "Well I'm going to do one better, and have sex with you…"
"I love Christmas!" Joanne cheered.
Out in the streets Collins grabbed Angel's hand and they swung them together as they walked home.
"Did she believe you?"
Collins grinned. "Oh yeah…she's such a kid but you gotta love her."
"I love you." Angel said while stopping them so she could capture his lips for a kiss. "You are such a good friend…now let's go home so I can make love to Santa Clause!"
"Ho, Ho, Ho!" Collins chuckled. "Santa loves making love!"
"And so does Angel, now let's go!" Angel giggled while running down the sidewalk with Collins.
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a sexy night!" Collins shouted with his giant grin.
The End