All I had to do was stand there watch over the ceremony. I didn't have to say anything. I would stand there, silent as a
stone. Unmoved and untouched. My mind went blank while I buried mom. I was alone. Now that my mother was gone, only
Padmé stood beside me. Not even Obi-Wan Kenobi-my master-was here to sympathize. Padmé thought I was an innocent
sufferer. That was another thing that bothered me. She was innocent and trusting-yet somehow she had a mind that went
far away from the beaten track. I loved her, yet I sensed pain in her future. The dear, heart-wrenching pain that would only
rip her to shreds. I didn't like it. It was unnerving. Every dream that I had would be filled with screams of pain…true pain.
The pure, emotional, suffering that could do worse things than kill…
The feeling was small at first, but now it takes up everything I see in her that I love. Her eyes, her smile, even the way she
frowns in concern when I tell her about what I feel. All of her expressions betray her feelings. In these small pictures of her
mind, I see that she is just as afraid as I am. She knows something has set me off. She offers a smile that reassures me
that everything will be all right. I try to smile back, but I cannot.
I know why I cannot smile. I may have Padmé to love, but it doesn't mean that I cannot hurt her. I have Obi-Wan…he's my
father. I never had a real one, and he's the closest anyone had ever been to me. He understood me, but lately, he doesn't
seem to understand that he's letting life waste away. He trains me, but I know there are some things that he cannot teach
me. I have wished for those things to save Padmé, but I do not tell the council. They will react the same way Obi-Wan did,
and then I would never become a Jedi knight. I would never even have the chance to save…
Even in taking back my mother, I killed an entire village. Not just the men. The women...the children…I cannot hide it. I just
killed them all…
All of them…dead…
I looked at my hands. They were dirty from burying mom, but I didn't care. I knelt next to her grave and traced her
tombstone with my thumb like a small child.
"I love you," I whispered. "I'll never forget you…"
I stood up and looked towards the horizon. The second sun was setting, casting long shadows across the sand. I looked
down at her marker again, but from staring into the sun, I still had a blind spot and therefore couldn't see her. This is a
sign. I tried to see her grave, but there was only a speckled blind.
"I'm sorry, mom. I couldn't save you. I tried, but…I…I just wasn't good enough…" My voice cracked, and my breathing
became uneven. Tears spilled down my face. I turned away from the sun, the sand, even mom.
I stumbled towards the house, still blind.
Definitely a sign.