Resonance

Category: CSI - General

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Summary: A conversation between two CSI's. N/S Friendship. Post one shot to "Gumdrops".

Spoilers: "Grave Danger" and "Gumdrops"

Disclaimer: All rights belong to CBS and all their fine writers. Please don't sue. This is just for fun.

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Her voice was scratchy and harsh. She forced sentences through a pain filled throat, one that had almost been sliced open by a sadistic punk kid. Cassie forced the words out and Nick kept the recorder on. His face never broke. He needed to be the rock and his fingers clasped much tinier ones. A tale of isolation, kidnapping and being left for dead stabbed him in the gut at every pain filled word.

"I knew someone would find me."

Nick felt a shiver, a strange sensation down his spine. He unconsciously ran his thumb over her pale fingers. Cassie focused on his face, his struggle to maintain control was an awful battle.

"I pretended to be asleep, but I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. It was so lonely."

Nick adjusted his elbows that rested on the bed, his body felt heavy. He was very careful not to fidget too much, the handmade card settled precarious on his lap. The little girl's voice drifted in and out. He was her lifeline.

"You were very brave, sweetheart." Nick said in a soft voice, his hand never moved away from hers.

"A voice in my head kept telling me what to do." Cassie got a distant look in her eyes. She pulled the blanket over herself and clutched Nick's hand tighter.

"I'm glad you listened to that voice. It gave you courage and something to believe in." Nick's voice cracked, splitting and floundering like the tenuous hold over his emotions.

"I knew if I left a trail the good guys would come and rescue me." Cassie fixed her benefactor with the gaze of someone with knowledge that ran far deeper than should be embodied in such a young mind.

Nick played with the sheet. He tucked it in to make sure it kept the child warm. Cassie was drifting off to sleep, her eyelids blinking as she fought to stay awake.

The child's fingers loosened as she lost the battle to slumber. "I knew I wasn't going to die."

Her words drifted inside the dim room. Nick pulled way, slouching in the hard plastic chair. His hands trembled as he held on the piece of construction paper that the littler girl had spent so much time on. Just pressed sawdust and layers of wax that formed a message of thanks, but its implications were far more reaching then Nick could ever admit.

He forced himself to stand on wobbly legs and simply collapsed back down to his seat. He cradled his head in his hands, as a crack ruptured in the damn inside his mind. The whole time that he worked on the case, his compass had been set on finding the little girl. Nothing hindered him, not a single ghost or dark feelings of despair. He had refused to give in to anything other than his investigative skills.

Nick shivered even though it wasn't cold; wrapping his arms around the fabric of his hootie. Hopelessness was the absence of faith. Nick believed every single minute inside the box that his team was out there searching for him, collecting clues, following some trail. Nick clung to that idea, to some abstract reason that his friends were not going to let him down. He would be found. The hours had morphed into an endless nightmare. Trapped in the confines of Plexiglas, his soul had died a little at a time.

Resiliency. A ten year old little girl had demonstrated the kind of faith in the goodness and determination of others. Strangers, with no ties or connections to her family. He leaned back in the hard plastic, the precious card held firmly over his chest. The tiny crack tore away his steady composure. He wasn't going to disappear from this room no matter how much his mind begged him. Nick felt a desperate need to separate from the reminders of things that he didn't even know had existed.

Memories locked away in a dark part of his soul so that he could remain undamaged. He wouldn't leave the little girl alone during the night. Who would be there if she woke up? He had his family and she had no one. Nick fought back against the pain that that slipped inside his chest and tightened with every breath. He squeezed his eyes closed and hoped to combat the new sensations tearing him apart.

He fell asleep unaware of the soft sobbing coming from the depths of his throat.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and groaned when his sore and stiff body complained about the movement. Nick stretched both arms upwards; cracking his neck and peeled opened eyes that were glued shut.

Sara swam into view and he wiped at his face, his gaze drifting back towards the sleeping form. He felt relief and looked back over at the person who had woken him up.

"You want to go out into the hall?" Sara asked softly.

Nick nodded and pushed out of the chair and winced at sore muscles. He followed Sara into the corridor. He leaned onto the interior and ran a hand through his hair, causing it to go in different directions.

Sara looked at him with a soft expression. "You slept here all night?'

Nick glanced back in reaction and rubbed at a kink in his neck. "Yeah."

She didn't frown and instead her hand rested on his shoulder. "We have to head back soon. Everything needs to be transported to the lab so it can be processed for the DA."

Nick smiled, bowing his head. "I'll get ready."

"You can sleep in the car. I know you were out all night searching on the boat. The cop said nothing could have held you back. You raced through the water and didn't wait for any help."

Nick looked past her, thinking back to when he found her lifeless body all alone. "She was still clutching on to her breadcrumbs," he murmured.

Sara cocked her head. "The bubblegum. You picked up on that right away. I'm glad for once that the odds turned out wrong." She rubbed her hand over his arm. "It doesn't always turn out that way."

"It's what you hold on to though. To those insurmountable statistics that are not supposed to happen. That when your nerves are frayed, and you've lost all hope. There are people out there who won't give in up on you." Nick looked up not really knowing where his words came from.

Nick's face was calm, a price he was paying for on the inside. He took one step at a time every day. He had once told Kelly Gordon not to take it with you. He had to move forward with his life, if he was ever going to get over his burial.

His eyes narrowed and he slowly turned his head towards his friend, blinking. "I told Cassie that it's hard to remember the bad things." He licked his lips deciding if it was best to voice his thoughts. "I'll never forget the first time I realized that I wasn't going to die."

Sara's lips trembled, but she kept them steady. She rubbed at her eyes that were not dry, but she wasn't ready to shed more tears. "You have the greatest inner strength. It helped you survive and it guides you now. I know that people tend to gloss over what happened to you or are too uncomfortable to talk to your face about your abduction. Others worry about using the 'a' word and try to over mother you. But as long as you don't have repeats of what happened with that suspect…"

She left it up to Nick to finish her line of reasoning. He sucked in his lips, chewed on the bottom one for a moment, the gears in his head turning. He got one of his typical bashful expressions when he had been called on the carpet for something.

"He was lying, and time was running out. Archie sent over that photo, and I just…"

"Lost it." Sara finished for him. She didn't give him one her patented warning expressions. She pulled some hair back around her ear. "Like I said, you wouldn't have done that before."

Sara's mouth twitched. Nick held her gaze for a beat, and he turned around to go back inside. Sara's hand grabbed his elbow before he fully disappeared. "You did well, Nick. This was a heavy case and…well, I know Grissom would be proud."

Nick laughed softly. Three years ago he wasn't even allowed to work solo. Now after everything, he had been the primary and trusted by his team mates to solve what happened.

He cast a backwards glance at the hospital room. It was obvious that he wanted to get way from this line of discussion. Nick rubbed his thumb over the bone above his eye, trying to ease the mounting pressure there. "You're right Sara." He exhaled heavily. "It wasn't my time to die. I think it's because I have a job to do."

He gave her a small grin and went back inside. Sara felt the urge to pull him away, that his noble deed had been done. He didn't need to be the champion of hope. Sara peeked through the door at the gentleness in which he talked to the little girl. She couldn't help but wonder how much a bond the two actually shared. In a way Cassie understood Nick more than any of them ever could.

She glanced at her watch and decided to give them the time needed. Cassie was perhaps Nick's sense of redemption. Sara hoped that the child represented the end of a painful chapter in his life.

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