Chapter 1-Restrained

My head felt heavy, a creeping headache lingered. The ringing in my ears continued, slowly driving me insane. I tried to open my eyes, but the bright lights forced them to shut again. Where am I? I could hear footsteps outside the room, hushed conversations. Someone was crying. I tried to move my body, but my arms and legs tugged at something. Alarmed, I opened my eyes wide. I stared in disbelief. I was restrained in a hospital bed.

I stared at the strange room I was in. One window on my right side, white walls surrounded the room. The window was slightly ajar, and the faint smell of rain flowed through. The wide, brown leather restraints cut into my wrists and ankles, unwieldy as I continued to tug on them. Just then, mom walked into the room with a doctor.

"Ami, you are awake. Thank goodness. I love you, honey." Mom bent over and gave me a lingering hug.

"Mom, what is going on? Why am I in restraints? Let me go…" I pleaded. My heart sank when I saw mom stole a glance at the other doctor. The other woman reached for a syringe, slightly uncapping the top. My mom was tensing up. She was afraid…of me?

Mom took a few steps back and hesitated. The other doctor nodded in encouragement. Mom looked at me with a sad smile. "Honey, what I am going to tell you might be confusing for you right now. Dr. Tanaka, your psychiatrist here believed that it was best we tell you the truth. We need you to face the reality, darling."

"Mom, you are scaring me. What happened? Did something happen to Usagi? To my friends? Where are they? Tell me, pleeeeease…" Tears slide down my cheek, as the sense of unease grew.

"Ami. Listen to me. Usagi is your classmate, but she is not Sailor Moon. Being a Sailor Mercury, fighting with the sailor scouts in order to save the princess, none of those were real. Ami, you have schizophrenia. Specifically, catatonic schizophrenia. You created an elaborate fantasy world and you had withdrawn into that world for four months now. You woke up for the first time last month but it was too much for you. This is the second time you've woken up from that state."

"No." I shook my head slowly, confused. I couldn't have been catatonic, mute and withdrawn for the past few months. "Mom, are you under a spell? It must be from the enemy. Or I am stuck in an illusion. It must be Nehelenia."

All of a sudden, I could feel an unexplainable rage exploding through my body. I tugged on the restraints again, with all my strength this time. The leather dug deeper into my skins. Frustrated, I let out a scream. Something is very wrong here. Is Usagi safe? Is everyone safe?

Dr. Tanaka uncapped the syringe she had been holding on and jabbed the needle into my arm. I felt as if all my strengths evaporated from my body and my eyelids felt heavy again. I kept my eyes closed but I struggled to stay awake, so I could eavesdrop on them.

"Well, this went better than last time, Dr. Mizuno. At least, she didn't try to chew her own wrist off this time."

"Dr. Tanaka, is this caused by that incident at cram school four months ago? She doesn't' seem to be getting better." Mom let out a heavy sigh.

"The psychotic break came shortly after, so that was probably a reasonable conclusion. Ami-san's high IQ could have predisposition her for the schizophrenia gene. Like what they said, it's a thin line between genius and insanity. She did save some of the students in her classroom, but her guilt about not saving others was probably too overwhelming. So she retreated into her fantasy world, where she could save everyone."

"Tsukino Usagi. That was one of the girls she saved right?..." Mom continued talking.

I helplessly drifted off into unconsciousness. None of what I overheard made any sense.

A.N. Catatonic schizophrenia - a person is withdrawn, mute, negative and often assumes very unusual body positions.