The decision was made; she could see it in his face. The way he looked around the room at everyone but stopped when his gaze fell upon hers conveying everything he needed to say but couldn't in an instant. He was staying behind.
His eyes said forgive me
Hers said don't go
He turned and walked away and took with him her life.
It hurts more than Sam could ever have imagined. Uncontrollable stabbing pain. She stared into the sky at the stars and couldn't help the anger that stirred inside her. After all they'd done, saving the world too many times to count, killing the bad guys, risking their lives you'd think the universe would one instead it comes along to stab you in the back when your not looking. It was the end, the end before their beginning. One small word escapes her lips into the night air, why.
She knew Daniel had followed her out to the deck. She could feel him standing behind her, not moving not speaking but waiting. Waiting on the inevitable crack to widen so far she wouldn't be able to keep the mask up she'd been wearing. It had become like an old comfy hat, putting it on to leave the house showing everyone how brave she was but when she was alone and took it off, that was a different story.
The evening air blew at her hair softly and she allowed her self to remember the last time they we're all gathered at his house in the springs. She'd just been given her assignment to Atlantis and he'd insisted on a little get together with the team before they all went their separate ways. That night the air was filled with laughter, his laughter. He'd told her that this was it, one last year in the saddle before handing it over to someone else. It was time for them and only them.
Daniel came to stand beside her and placed his hand over hers on the handrail jolting her from her day dream. He didn't say anything and she was grateful. Grateful for the silence, grateful for her friends. They'd watched over her all week, giving her space but not too much that she'd get lost in herself. The feel of Daniels warm hands on hers was too much. A small tear escaped and started on its journey down her face. As if knowing he squeezed her hand slightly to let her know, I'm here, its ok. But it wasn't ok, it would never be ok. She wasn't ready to be hugged and told it will be ok she needed to be the pain and anger. He was gone and she was left behind. What happened to never leaving anyone behind she wondered. What would it be like a month from now when everyone went back to their lives and she was left alone, alone with her thoughts and memories of him, of the life they'll never have. It was almost too much to bear and she pulled her hand from his grip, dried her eyes and walked back inside knowing her friend would be there when she was ready.