My smile is a great cloak that hides a multitude of pains. (Unknown)
Sirius watched his housemates walk away, laughing without a single care in the world. He longed for the feeling that he was safe and that he could be happy. The feeling where he knew where he stood in the world and knew how to act. Where he didn't have to smile and agree, where he could frown, cry, and disagree.
He longed for a life where he had friends he could truly care for. Friends that would care for him as well, who would help him through his misery and comfort him.
A new group of laughing students passed him, barely giving him a second look.
They all looked away eventually. None bothered enough to care and notice.
The bell for his next class rang, but Sirius remained seated. No one in his class would see him missing. They might realize they had uneven numbers for once, but they would attribute it to an extra student. His absence would not cause any unease or worry. In fact, it might do quite the opposite. The Snake in the Lion pride. However that works.
Minutes into class he felt the ground beneath him shift. He knew that if he didn't move a space would appear below him and he could easily fall to his death.
Over the first few days of attending Hogwarts, Sirius had found multiple ways to cause a quick death. More than once he discovered a deadly trap that would make it seem like an accident.
More than once he thought about it, but when it did shift he stood. He couldn't take the risk, he didn't have the courage to commit the act.
'I shouldn't be in Gryffindor, house of the brave.' He thought.
After spending a few more seconds staring at the drop, Sirius moved on. He knew that ghosts would be going through the school, looking for lost children, or in Sirius' case, skippers.
He could play it off as though he was an older students….but no. The ghosts of the houses would recognize him as the Black that defied all odds and got placed in Gryffindor.
Sighing deeply, he continued on his way, now heading to his class.
When he reached his potions class, the students were still seating, listening to instructions.
He was lucky; the professor was looking at the board not paying the class much attention. Sirius slid into an empty desk nearest the door.
The rustle of a chair being pulled back was nearly nonexistent.
"Does everyone understand what is being asked?" Professor Slughorn questioned.
The class nodded their understanding and eagerly started to stand.
"Mr. Black?"
Sirius snapped his head up. The professor was looking directly at him, expecting some sort of answer.
He smiled and nodded. "Of course professor."