Disclaimer: I own nothing except for a (dead) iPod.
*~*~*
The forensics lab at NCIS was quiet. Too quiet, McGee thought, walking in. And he soon found out why: a hysterical Abby was sitting on the floor, holding her iPod, which, due to the look on her face, had apparently died.
"I don't know what happened!" Abby complained, more to herself than to her audience of one. "I was just sitting here, listening to music, and then it just…died! And I can't fix it!"
McGee raised an eyebrow.
"Are you sure the battery's not dead?" he asked, confused. Abby nodded.
"It froze during the middle of a song. The battery was fully charged. It's dead!"
"Why don't you take it to the Apple store and see what they can do?"
"And leave my entire life in the hands of some wannabe computer experts whose only certification is a nametag and a minimum-wage check every two weeks? I don't think so!"
"Well, when you put it that way…"
"Fix it, McGee!"
"It's dead. You said it yourself."
"Which is why you need to fix it before I go completely insane from lack of music!" Abby shouted, handing her iPod to McGee.
"I'll see what I can do."
*~*~*
"Did you fix my iPod yet?"
"Well…"
"Well what?"
"The hard drive was completely fried and the battery looked like it was a decade old."
"So… it's dead?"
"Yes."
"Can't you get a new battery?"
"I told you, the hard drive was fried. Even if I did get a new battery it would be completely useless when the CPU isn't working."
Abby just stared at the disassembled piece of technology on the table, looking upset.
"You okay?"
"It's dead?"
"Yes, Abby, it's dead. If I were you, I'd get a new iPod."
"But I don't want a new iPod! I want this one! Kevin was the best iPod I've ever had!"
McGee looked at her, confused and somewhat shocked.
"What?"
"Kevin?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Why did you name your iPod?"
"I name all of my technology. You know that."
"But why Kevin?"
"It seemed like a good name."
"Only you, Abby." McGee shook his head and turned around to try once again to rescue the dead iPod.
*~*~*
"It was my favorite iPod, too!" Abby complained, on the verge of tears.
"I know. I did all I could."
"How does a hard drive spontaneously combust like that, anyway?"
"I don't know. It just did."
"Was it just that suicidal?"
"I guess so."
"Why would my iPod spontaneously combust? I never did anything to hurt it!"
"I don't read the minds of iPods. I wouldn't know."
There was a sudden throat-clearing and the two looked up to see a very confused Gibbs standing at the door, holding a Caf-Pow in one hand.
"Did I miss something?" he asked the two, trying to figure out what had happened.
"My iPod killed itself." Abby explained, looking very depressed. "It had the technological equivalent of a stroke and then spontaneously combusted when McGee tried to fix it."
"Another reason why I hate technology." Gibbs muttered, turning and walking out, placing the Caf-Pow on the table as he left.
*~*~*
A very depressed Abby sat at her computer, looking from the monitor to the pile of charred metal that was once an iPod. Gibbs walked in, looking at his surrogate daughter in concern.
"You okay, Abs?"
"Why spontaneous combustion, of all things?" the forensic scientist was in her own little world, still trying to comprehend the death of her iPod.
"I don't know. Just thought you might want this." Gibbs handed her a white box, which Abby examined skeptically.
"What is it?" she asked, confused.
"You'll know soon enough." Gibbs said, walking out of the lab. Abby opened it to see the box for a brand new iPod.
"Aw, Gibbs! Tha- wait a second, isn't this the one I got you with my tax return?"
Gibbs smiled, stepping into the elevator. Abby stared after him in shock.
"But this is your iPod!" she shouted as the doors closed. Frowning, she turned around to look at the new iPod.
"Oh well. It's better than nothing." She said, opening the box and pulling out the shiny new piece of technology. "Hopefully this one won't commit suicide."
*~*~*
A/N: Dedicated to my now-deceased iPod, which died mysteriously last night. I figured that Abby would have the same reaction I did. As to computers and technology spontaneously combusting…I'm not sure. The bad part is that now I have to somehow get $250 to buy a new iPod. Sigh.
