Unwilling tears of love Chapter 1: Yea, we screwed, a harry potter fanfic

"Goodbye, Mum!" Ron yelled to his mother, Molly Weasley.

"Bye, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said

"Bye, Mum," Ginny whispered into her mother's ear as she hugged her goodbye.

"Call me when you get to the cottage!" Molly reminded them.

The three of them were staying with Bill and his wife Fleur at Shell Cottage for the weekend. It was supposed to be a little vacation. Hermione was invited, of course, but opted to stay at The Burrow instead with Molly while Arthur was away on MOM business.

"Have a good time! Tell Fleur 'hi' for me!" Hermione said.

"I'll see what we can do," Ginny said as she smiled, and mounted her broom.

The three departed on their brooms, while Molly and Hermione stood waving until the trio were no longer visible; it didn't take long. By the time they headed back inside it was already getting dark.

"I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight. Good-night Molly," Hermione said.

"Night dear, sleep well," Molly responded with a smile for her 'other daughter'.

Hermione smiled back, and started up the steep and rickety stairway. Since Ginny was away, Hermione was going to stay in her room. The Weasleys had given her Bill's old room to use as her own since she was always at the Burrow. The problem was that Bill's old room was at the very top of the staircase, and she didn't want to climb that many stairs. Ginny's room was on the first flight of stairs, much closer. Hermione changed into her pajamas, and brushed her teeth. Most wizards and witches used cleansing charms on their teeth, but Hermione was used to using an actual toothbrush since both her parents were dentists. She even braided her hair so that when she woke up in the morning she wouldn't have to deal with a bird's nest on her head. She cuddled up next to Crookshanks' warm body as he purred next to her ear. Hermione decided to read a bit before falling asleep so she picked up the Daily Prophet from the nightstand and read the front-page article. It was titled, 'Ministry passed birth law!' Hermione's eyes narrowed with disgust. It was the look she gave Snape on a daily base.

Today August 1st, the Ministry of Magic received the signature of the Minister himself, Cornelius Fudge, finalizing the Birth Law. The Birth Law was passed because of the rising number of squib births due to years of pureblood inbreeding.

Requirements:

Male and Female wizards will be assigned a partner. With your partner you are responsible for producing a child. Intercourse must take place twice a week. The day after the first intercourse takes place the female must be examined by a St. Mungos healer. A child must be conceived as soon as possible, and no birth control will be allowed. You do not have to love your partner, you can be in a relationship with someone else but you may not have physical relations with anyone else but your partner.

FYI, If you have intercourse with anyone but your partner, the child produced will be removed and placed in a muggle orphanage, and you will spend 3 weeks in Azkaban high security prison. The Ministry will be placing charms on all couples to assure compliance. If the Ministry determines that you and your partner are not having intercourse twice a week, you will be fined 3,000 galleons. Remember, couples have been hand selected to create perfect little witches and wizards. Trust in the Ministry! Trust in the Minister!

There was a picture of Fudge signing the law with a fancy quill. It was clear he was posing for the picture. Hermione heard tapping coming from the window, and looked over to see Errol, the Weasleys owl, with a letter. Hermione went to the window and untied the letter before gently placing Errol on the back of a threadbare chair. How that owl was still able to deliver mail was surprising to Hermione, he was ancient.

Hermione,

Harry, Ginny and I just got our letters from the MOM. It's not right! I am supposed to have a child with Katie Bell. I have decided to marry her because I won't abandon my child. Harry is to produce a child with McGonagall! Can she even still have a baby? I would think that all her eggs would be shriveled up at her age. There is nothing wrong with McGonagall; it's just the age difference. He has decided to marry her too. EWWW! God, if it were me I'd have to poke my eyes out with my wand if I ever had to see Minerva naked. Ginny is to marry Neville, that's not too bad. She has always had a crush on him anyway, I think. Luna owled me, and you'll never guess who she's with. It's pretty sick. She's with Dumbledore. DUMBLEDORE! That's just nasty.... speaking of shriveled up things. UGH! Have you received your letter yet?

Ron

Hermione's heart sank. It was terrible! Luna, oh poor Luna! And Harry! It was sick, just sick. How could this happen?!

'I wonder who my mate will be,' she thought. 'I'll throw myself off the Astronomy tower if it is Ollivander.' She was anxious as she waited for a Ministry owl to arrive with her letter telling her who her partner would be. An official owl swooped past and a letter dropped from the open window and fell down onto the well-worn wooden floor. It was addressed to her. She took a deep breath of confidence, and opened her letter.

Ms. Hermione Granger,

According to the new birth law, you must be assigned a mate. The council has had a hard time finding you the perfect mate. Muggle-born witches are almost impossible to match. Your only possible mate is Severus Tobias Prince Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Great Britain.

Sincerely,

The Ministry of Magic

Hermione began to hyperventilate, and she started to see little flashes of light at the edges of her vision; she was in full panic mode. After several deep-cleansing breaths that she had learned in a yoga class she started to calm down. Somehow she managed to formulate a reply to Ron's letter. She accioed a quill and a piece of parchment and wrote two words.

Severus Snape

Hermione rolled it up, sealed it with a drop of hot wax, and tied the small scroll to Errol's outstretched leg. Hermione had no idea what to do after Errol took off. She was torn between wanting to cry, scream, vomit, or pass out; she chose to pass out. The thought of shagging the greasy dungeon bat, Severus Snape, was not her ideal way to spend her evenings.

Hermione awoke the next morning to Crookshanks licking and pawing at her. His long whiskers were tickling her face, and his breath smelled like tuna.

"Stop it! Stop it you fur ball!" She managed to choke out. Hermione struggled to push him away; he was incredibly heavy for a cat. Hermione slowly tried to roll herself off the bed, feet first. This bored Crookshanks and he took off somewhere to look for mice, no doubt. Hermione, distracted by the cat, finally dragged herself up and managed to strike her hip on the nightstand.

"Ow, damn it," she gasped grabbing her side. She stood there for a minute, hand on her hip waiting as the pain dulled. Lifting her nightshirt, she saw a large red mark on her side. "That's going to leave a bruise," she muttered outloud and made a mental note to use some of her bruise cream later. Hermione pulled on a pair of faded blue jeans and a comfortable cotton t-shirt before heading downstairs for breakfast.

"Hermione! Good Morning! How did you sleep?" Molly asked, bright as ever, eyes twinkling. Hermione decided that Molly was Albus' female counterpart.

"I didn't sleep as well as I usually do," Hermione answered.

"Why is that dear?" Molly looked puzzled.

"I received my letter from the MOM," Hermione sighed. "I am to … you know… with Severus." Hermione began to weep and Molly pulled her into a motherly hug.

"It will be all right, my dear, I promise you. Severus is a really good man outside of school. I grew up with him, you know. It will all work out, and be fine. He will make a wonderful father, and husband. You do plan on marrying him, don't you? Molly asked.

"Only for the baby, and if he agrees. I have only the best intentions for my children," Hermione said with conviction, straight from her heart.

"Hermione, dear, are you hungry? Molly questioned, resuming her cooking. She was scrambling eggs while a knife floated in the air buttering toast.

"Um, yeah, thanks." She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, and noticed another owl tapping at the kitchen window. She didn't recognize this owl, and it certainly didn't look like a Ministry owl. Hermione had a feeling she knew who it was from. Taking a deep breath, and trying to up her confidence, she opened her letter…

Severus sat in his library, the one in his muggle home on Spinner's End. He had a small fire going in his fireplace; it was the only heat in his home. The fire crackled, and the embers danced. It was much homier than his Hogwarts chambers. Severus was alone, and enjoyed the solitude. This wasn't unusual for him. His closest friend was Lucius Malfoy, and he didn't even like him that much. His godson, Draco, was coming to stay for the weekend, and would be arriving later that night. Lucius was going to a MOM meeting and wouldn't leave his adult son, Draco, home alone. It was a part of Draco's past to have wild, crazy parties while daddy was gone; he often invited only women. Lucius feared he would have 60 grandchildren by the time he was the ripe age of 40. So from then on Draco got a babysitter.

Severus wanted to read something so he got up from his soft brown leather chair and leisurely stepped up to his wall of books.

"Hmmm, what to read, what to read?" Severus thought out loud.

"Potions for a Master? No. The rise of dark magic, Harry Potter The-Boy-Who-Lived? Absolutely not! How did that book get in here?" Severus spat. He took the book and tossed it into the fire. The fire seemed to enjoy it's offering, and Severus enjoyed watching the photograph of Harry Potter burn.

"Back to books.... Twilight? No. Shakespeare? No. Maybe I'll just read the paper," Severus huffed, and trudged back to his seat. For a man that liked his quiet, he certainly talked a lot to himself. He reached across the dark cherry wood cocktail table and picked up the Daily Prophet, and read the headline:

Ministry passesBirth Law!Severus's eyes bore deeper into the paper.

Requirements:

Severus was absolutely disgusted. He was full of questions, and had no time to get them answered. Draco had arrived, and was at the door. He got up, quickly, and nearly ran to the door.

"Sevy! Nice to see you!" Draco nearly jumped on Severus.

"Ditto Draco," Severus said in a bored tone, as usual. Severus had one thought. Draco was definitely gay. Draco's hair was blow-dried and jelled to one side. He wore skinny jeans, and green Converse shoes. His shirt was white, and the front was tucked into is belt, while the rest was hanging freely. It had a large D on it. Yep, the whole package screamed gay; Draco was totally Gay. Severus smirked and wondered what Lucius would say when he found out.

Severus got Draco situated in the guest room, and then they shared a pot of tea in the den before bed.

"Draco, have you received your letter from the MOM yet?"

"Yeah Sev, I'm with Cho Chang. It's cool, she's a hottie!" Draco squealed like a schoolgirl." Have you?"

"No, and I'm nervous. I mean, what if I'm stuck with someone like Sybil? I'll be doomed for life."

"Sev, it won't be that bad. I bet you'll even like her," Draco said. An owl was tapping on the window so Severus opened the window and untied the letter when the owl stuck his leg out. "Stay here a moment and I'll get you an owl treat from the kitchen," Severus told the owl.

"Draco, read it for me, I can't do it." Severus closed his eyes and turned his head away.

" Fine." Draco opened and began to read the letter.

"Mr. Severus Snape,"Draco started.

"According to the new birth law, you must be assigned a mate. The council has had a hard time finding you the perfect mate. Half-blood born wizards are almost impossible to match. Your only capable mate is," Draco stuttered and his voice became quiet. "Hermione Jane Granger, Charms Mistress at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Great Britain.

Sincerely,

Ministry of Magic

"Oh my god," Severus whispered to himself.

"That's right! You get to shag the hottest woman in the school! Hermione is gorgeous! She's generous, and she's smart, just like you! Don't just have kids with her Uncle Sev, you have got to marry her!" Draco was jumping now; Severus didn't know why, but he was beginning to get the feeling that Draco was Bi and not totally gay.

All he could think to do was to write. He found a piece of parchment, and started a letter to Hermione.

"I am going to marry Hermione Granger," he managed to say before he passed out on the carpet piss drunk. A few hours later, Draco was by his side.