Summary: Bella is in a relationship with Jacob where all he ever really does is bring her down and tell her how worthless she is. One day she meets Edward, who sees her in a very different way. What will happen when she has to choose between what she knows and what can be.
Disclaimer: I dont own the characters or the song (but I love both)
oh if you have never heard this song listen to it, great song.
"God Bella why can't you do anything right. You can't even manage to make dinner right, I don't even know why am with you anymore." Jacob gripped at me.
"I am really sorry I thought you said that you wanted the pasta for dinner and..." I started before he cut me off.
"Yeah that's the problem, you tried to think, you really shouldn't do that you're too stupid to get anything right. I am tired of dealing with you so I am going out with my friends" he said as he walked out the door. I simply stood there with tears falling down my cheeks.
I really couldn't figure out how to make him happy. When we first started dating he was always so sweet and caring. Then after a few months he started putting me down. It was things I already knew were true but it still hurt to hear him say those things. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I wiped away the tears and tried to look like I was okay. When I opened the door my three best friends were standing there. Alice who was short with spiky black hair bright green eyes and very fair skin, almost as fair as mine. Next there was Angela she was thin and tall with light brown hair and hazel colored eyes. Finally there was Rosalie tall and statuesque with blonde hair and shining blue eyes, she looked like a runway model. We were all so different but somehow it meshed really well to bring out the best in each one of us, well the best in them I didn't really have anything to offer and I still couldn't figure out why they were friends with me.
"Well since the dog finally left we are taking you out for a much needed drink" Rosalie said.
"Are you crazy I have so much to do around here, I have to clean up the mess from dinner and do the laundry and I really need to get my paper started for my lit class" I said trying to avoid what I knew was inevitable.
"Bella this is crazy you stay cooped up in here all day making dinner, then you listen to Jacob bitch and just take it, then he gets to go out and have fun while you get stuck with clean up. That is so wrong and you know it" Alice said.
"And if it was happening to any of us you would be pissed that we were letting it happen" Angela added.
"That's different" I tried to defend myself "you all have something useful to offer, I just screw up all the time. I know I can't do anything right but I am really trying" I told them as I tried not to cry.
"Bella you don't screw up all the time, it is just Jacob's way of making sure you stay under his thumb and its wrong, but we will have that discussion another time, right now we need to get you ready my cousin just moved back for his residency and we are going out to celebrate and meet him and you are coming no arguments, understood" Alice said forcefully. I was too tired to argue so I just nodded. The three of them led me up to my bathroom and started fixing my hair and makeup.
30 minutes later I was ready to go with my makeup lightly done so it still looked natural, my hair was half up hanging in loose curls and I was wearing low rise jeans and I dark purple blouse with a plunge neckline. I actually looked pretty good, well as good as I could look.
We soon left to go to a nice restaurant of Alice's choosing. We were immediately led back to a table where Rosalie's boyfriend Emmett, Alice's fiancée jasper, and Angela's boyfriend Ben were sitting with a guy I had never seen before and he was the most attractive man I had ever seen in my whole life. All the guys were talking and laughing. It looked like they were having a really good time. Alice squealed and went running over to the man I didn't recognize, just as he stood up to greet her Alice launched herself into his arms.
"It's good to see you too Alice" he said laughing in the most attractive voice ever.
"What I can't be glad to see my most favoritest cousin" she said pouting as he put her down.
"Well when you put it that way how can I not be happy to see you too" he teased trying to ruffle her hair.
"I see you already met the guys so now let me introduce to the girls, this is Rosalie Emmett's girlfriend, Angela her and Ben are the high school sweethearts that just fit and this is Bella girls this is my oh so amazing cousin Edward" she said while she gave me a wink .
"Bella very fitting name, it means beautiful in Italian" he said as he kissed my hand. I just blushed a very deep shade of red how could this god of a man think that plain old me is beautiful I am ordinary at the most really more like somewhat on the unpretty side. As we went to sit down the open seat for me was between Angela and Edward. Edward pulled out my chair for me to sit as I blushed yet again. Dinner was a fabulous event we all sat around talking and laughing and enjoying each other's company. When we had all filled ourselves up on dinner and desert Edward insisted on paying for everyone's dinner saying that we had given him great company and friends in a city where he didn't know anybody. As we were leaving he said that we all really needed to get together again sometime when he had a night off since his residency started in just two days.
As we were walking out he asked if he could have my number so we could talk again sometime. I told him I didn't have a cell phone but gave him my email so that we could keep in touch. He knew I had a boyfriend because it was brought up during dinner and he seemed very disappointed at the fact. He seemed like a really good guy and I hated the fact that I couldn't give him a phone number because Jacob insisted I didn't need one after all I was either at home, at school or with him all the time.
When Alice dropped me off I noticed that Jacob was back and I was not looking forward to going inside.
"Do you want us to go in there with you make sure he behaves himself" rose asked looking more than exited at the thought of getting into it with Jake, after all she hated him the most.
"No I really need to deal with this myself" I said as I got out of the car and made my way up to the door.
As soon as I walked in the door I saw that Jacob was pacing the floor looking very angry. "Where the hell have you been" he yelled as soon as he saw that I was alone. I flinched back at the volume in his voice.
"I went out with Alice her cousin just moved to town and she wanted to get everyone together to welcome him to a new city" I said trying to sink into the door.
"him, oh so that's why your dressed like this, trying to make yourself look good for some guy. Well guess what it isn't going to work you are still going to be the same ugly stupid useless pathetic girl, anybody can see that" he said. I couldn't help the tears that began to fall from my eyes. He was right and I knew it why did I even try to be something more. "Now why don't you clean up this place, not that you can do that right either but hey at least you will be busy not just taking up space."
With that said he left to go up to the bedroom and I started to clean the kitchen, then the living room, then do the laundry. Once the house looked somewhat presentable a few hours later I got my laptop and started on my paper. I was still working on my paper at 9 in the morning when Jacob left for work without a word to me. About 15 minutes later I heard a knock at the door that seemed very tentative. When I opened it up a small smile automatically formed on my face, it was my neighbors. A sweet older couple who always made sure that I was doing okay especially after they heard me and Jacob fight.
"How are you doing dear" Mrs. Johnson asked.
"I am fine Mrs. Johnson how are you both doing today." I asked.
Oh we are just fine dear, I told you a thousand times before call me JoAnne and him john. And we are worried about you sweetheart. You know you are like a granddaughter to us. We hate to see you so upset." JoAnne said. They were both so sweet. I hated to see them upset especially just because of me; I was nothing to worry over.
"I am fine I promise, it was nothing to worry about" I tried to assure them but they didn't look convinced.
"Well just the same we made you some of your favorite cookies, no bake with extra vanilla" JoAnne said handing me a bag of cookies with a hug and a smile. She then turned to go back to their apartment leaving john and I standing in the doorway to jakes apartment.
He continued to look at me like he was reading me before he finally spoke. "One day you will realize you are special and that you deserve more than this, and I truly hope I am there that day to see it happen. You are an amazing young woman and any man who does not see that and does not cherish you as such does not deserve you" he said with so much conviction I almost believed him. He then gave me a hug and went to join his wife leaving me standing speechless. I eventually went back to my laptop and checked my email. I was surprised to see that I already had one from Edward. I read his email smiling and wrote him back. Then I continued to work on my paper before heading off to class. After my classes were done I met up with rose, Alice and Angela for coffee. Then I went back to Jake's apartment to make him dinner. Yes I lived there too but I did not consider it my home and I wasn't sure why.
This routine continued for nearly six months, clean the apartment, email Edward, work on homework, go to class, meet up with the girls for coffee, go to the apartment make dinner clean some more, then listen to how I did it all wrong. In my emails with Edward I would often talk to him about what a hard time I was having and how Jake kept trying to get me to quit school since I was never going to be smart enough to use it anyway. Edward would always tell me to keep at it because Jake was wrong I was extremely intelligent. Truthfully some days the only thing that kept me going was being able to read Edward's emails.
Occasionally Alice would arrange for all the guys to meet us for dinner instead of coffee, never telling me when this would happen till 10 minutes ahead of time so Jake would not have time to change my plans like he did the first time she tried to get us all together. Every time we would go out Edward and I would always end up in our own little world talking about whatever would pop into our heads at the moment. Throughout this time he would always compliment me and tell me how great I am and how amazing I am. The time before last he told me that he couldn't stop thinking about me and that I was the woman of his dreams. He told me he knew I was in a relationship and that he respected that but he didn't think I should be with someone who doesn't appreciate me like I should be. He said he would give anything to have me see myself the way he does. After that I wasn't really sure what to think or say. How could someone as amazing as Edward see me in that way? The next time we saw each other things were a little awkward because he had basically admitted to wanting me and I was with someone else. Though if I was being honest with myself I wanted him more than anything, but I also knew I would never be good enough for him.
One day Alice called and left a voicemail at the apartment saying they were all going out since Edward had the night and tomorrow off and that I was joining them and didn't have a choice. Jacob walked in while I was listening to the message and announced that he was coming with me.
"Okay but why you hate my friends" I said, trying to understand why he suddenly want to go with us when he had always told me he couldn't take me anywhere in public because it was too embarrassing.
"I am going to make sure this Edmund guy knows to keep his hands off what belongs to someone else" Jacob said in a very harsh voice.
I didn't really know what to say to that Edward was a gentleman and he wouldn't do that. He also knew I had a boyfriend. But what really got to me about what Jacob said was that I belonged to him, like I was property and not a person with her own thoughts. I decided to put that aside for later and call Alice.
"hey I see you got my message, I will be over there in like 15 minutes to help you get ready, oh this is going to be so much fun" she said sounding very excited.
"Yeah I got your message, hey listen Jacob wants to come with us tonight" I told her waiting for the explosion.
"what why does he want to come, he never wants to go out wi…wait never mind I know why, it's because Edward is going to be there isn't it, god what a prick I can't believe he doesn't trust you. You know I love you Bella but I really hate him and if he ruins things tonight I will beat the shit out of him" Alice said with more venom then I had ever heard in her voice.
"Ok, but I am just going to get ready here and we will just meet you all there" I told her.
"Alright I will see you there, I love you sister"
"I love you too sister" I said before I hung up and went to get ready.
As I was coming down the stairs Jacob started to complain. "You take forever to get ready and you don't even look that good. God I don't even know why I put up with you."
I just chose not to say anything; I knew I wasn't worth it. As we left I passed the Johnson's door. Mr. Johnson was currently in the hospital after suffering a heart attack. When I wanted to go see him Jacob said that he didn't want to see me, I would just be in the way.
We arrived at the bar a few minutes after leaving the apartment, it seemed that they were having a karaoke night. When we walked in I immediately spotted Emmett. We made our way over to my group of friends. "Hey guys" I said as I approached. No one seemed surprised to see Jacob walking behind me which meant that Alice had told them to expect him, though they didn't look very happy.
"Hey sweetie" Angela said, and always being the polite one she turned to greet Jacob too "hello Jacob how are you."
"Eh" Jacob said rolling his eyes at her. Why was he being so rude Angela was always nice to him even when he was like this? All my other friends looked like they wanted to smack him, except Edward who just looked like he couldn't believe how rude Jacob was. But then again they had never been around each other. A few minutes later Jacob announced he was going to get a drink. As soon as he left Edward pulled me aside before everyone could start in on me.
"Bella I know I said I was going to respect you and the fact that you have a boyfriend but that guy is a jerk and doesn't deserve you. Granted no one does because you are far too amazing but that guy" he said not really finishing his sentence just looking over to where Jacob was with a disgusted look on his face. I followed his gaze to see Jacob flirting with some blonde in barely there clothing. "Bella how can you not see that you deserve so much better. You are beautiful, funny and just incredible and he clearly can't see that. I wish I could show you just how I see you" Edward said as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Just then Jacob walked up.
"Hey babe I found some of my friends let's go see them" he said pulling me away.
I stopped him by pulling my arm out of his grasp "we are supposed to be hanging out with my friends tonight" I said.
"yeah but I don't like them so we are going to hang out with mine, besides this way you can't flirt with that guy" he said pulling me again.
"Me flirting" I questioned getting mad now "what about you and that girl that was practically crawling on you in almost no clothing?" I questioned but all he did was shrug while pulling me the rest of the way to his friends while I looked back at my friends who seemed both sad and pissed at the same time. Once I saw the look on Edwards face I had to look away.
I stood there for about 30 minutes before Jacob got my attention. "So Bella I noticed you seem to like that guy you were talking to earlier, well you can't talk to him anymore."
"WHAT" I questioned not believing what I just heard he was making me choose. I had been with Jacob for over two years but lately talking to Edward seems to be what gets me through most days.
"you heard me if you want to stay with me and keep living in my apartment you choose me or him, which means no more meeting him with all your friends, no more conversations of any type including email."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Edward had become my best friend; how I was supposed to do this, "I need a drink" I said and made my way up to the bar. As I was waiting for my drink someone came up to my side. "You seem very upset my dear."
My head whipped around at the sound of the voice, there stood Mrs. Johnson my elderly neighbor in a bar with a rather young crowd. "What are you doing here" I questioned completely stunned.
"Well if I am not welcome I can just go find another person to talk to" she teased.
"You know that's not what I meant I am just really surprised to see you here" I said as a smile spread across my face of its own accord.
"Well john and I used to come here years ago, he told me to get out of the hospital and have a fun night, so I came here to see what the young people are getting up to now days. And I must say it is exactly the same as when I was younger, rather disappointing actually" she said as I laughed. "So who is that good looking boy I saw you talking to earlier? You seemed quite content with him before your annoying roommate came along."
"That's Edward" I said "he is my best friend, for now."
"Well it looks like he wants to be more than best friends and what do you mean for now, it wouldn't have anything to do with why Jacob is looking so smug right now would it" she questioned. As she said this I turned to look at Jacob and noticed that he was looking completely smug and kept shooting looks at Edward.
"He said I needed to choose him or Edward" I told her knowing she probably already had a general idea.
"And you are going to choose Jacob" she asked to which I could only nod without crying. Suddenly she was hitting me in the back of the head as I tried to quickly back away.
"hey what was that for" I asked as I noticed Alice, Rose and Angela laughing as the guys looked worried, after all the girls had met my neighbor the guys hadn't.
"That is for considering going with a guy who is a piece of shit over a man who clearly loves you" she said.
"What Edward doesn't love me" I said.
"Oh yes he does, I also notice you did not deny the fact that Jacob is a piece of shit" she said. She then looked at me with knowing eyes "honey I know you see yourself as worthless but you aren't you are so special. You are intelligent, funny, and beautiful inside and out. John and I both love you so do your friends over there. And that young man the way he looks at you and touches you is the same way john has done with me for the last 50 years. And you look at him the way I look at john, believe me when I tell you that is not something that goes away. Make the right choice for me, for john so that he will know you will be happy and safe when he leaves this earth, for that boy over there who look like his heart has been shattered into a million pieces, but most importantly make the right choice for you, the one that you will have to live with from now on." With this said JoAnne gripped my hand, kissed my cheek then walked away leaving me with so much to think about.
As I walked back to where Jacob was I noticed that he stayed away from me to appear single. I then looked over to Edward to see him looking in my direction. As I looked at him I knew what choice I had to make, I didn't know if Edward loved me or not but I knew my decision. Suddenly I heard the D.J. "so is there anyone else who wants to come take a shot at karaoke?"
Now I was never one to put myself out there but I knew the perfect song to sing tonight. Not only would it give Jacob my answer but it told exactly what I was going through. "I will" I yelled.
"Alright we have a taker, come on up" the D.J. said.
"Bella what do you think you are doing, are you trying to embarrass me in front of my friends" Jacob asked looking very annoyed.
"Not at all" I said "I am simply giving you an answer to your question."
I was nervous as hell walking up to the stage. My friends always told me I had a great voice Jacob said it was horrible, either way I was doing this because I knew one thing. By choosing Jacob now I would be giving him all the power to let him make me choose again, between him and my other guy friends then him and my friends, my sisters.
I told the D.J. what song I wanted to sing; before it started I decided to say something. "This song I am singing goes out to my boyfriend Jacob in answer to your question." I looked over to my friends most of them looked confused as to why I was dedicating a song to him when they knew how he felt about my singing. Edward simply looked hurt; hopefully after the song was over he wouldn't look so hurt.
Almost as soon as the song started the girls had huge smiles on their faces because they knew the song it knew that it meant I was done.
According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right
According to you
I'm difficult
Hard to please
Forever changing my mind
I'm a mess in a dress
Can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life
According to you
According to you
But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him
I'm funny,irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you
According to you
I'm boring
I'm moody
You can't take me any place
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away
I'm the girl with the worst attention span
You're the boy who puts up with it
According to you
According to you
I had been pretty much watching Jacob up to this point to make sure he got the point of this song but now I needed to see if Edward got the point. When I looked over at my group of friends all the girls were singing along and dancing around. They seemed to be having a lot of fun now, much more so than earlier. The guys seemed very happy with the choice of song I chose to dedicate to Jacob. Finally I looked at Edward. He seemed happy but reserved at the same time like he wasn't sure he could trust what he was hearing.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you
I need to feel appreciated
like I'm not hated
Oh, no
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me decide
During the next part of the song I looked straight into Jacobs eyes to make sure he understood I was done with all his crap.
According to me
you're stupid
you're useless
you can't do anything right
But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
Baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you [you, you]
According to you [you, you]
According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right
When the song had finished to make sure there was no doubt in anyone's mind I said "I choose him" I looked out into the crowd one more time before walking off the stage and saw Mrs. Johnson leaving with a small wave in my direction.
As I walked down there were quite a few applause but I simply ignored them and walked straight to Edward. He was looking at me to confirm what had just happened. "I choose you, if you want me I choose you" I said to him.
He brought me into his arms for a very tight hug, like he knew I wasn't quite ready for anything else but I needed some type of assurance that I wasn't crazy. "God yes I want you, always" he said. As I hugged him back. It was a hug where nothing was held back, we clung to each other like we had been wanting to do for months.
We were broken out of our little bubble when a very angry looking Jacob came storming over. "What the hell was that, you just decide to embarrass me in front of everyone, you think it was funny some kind of joke."
"no what was a joke is our relationship" I yelled back not caring that we were causing a scene I was tired of him putting me down and trying to control me. "I am done with all of it, you telling me how stupid I am, you telling me how I can't ever do anything right, saying that I am worthless, that I am just a waste of space well I won't be wasting your space anymore because we are done and like I said I choose him."
"oh yeah where are you going to live, no one cares about you enough to take your pathetic ugly ass in and soon he is going to see what a loser you are and kick you to the curb like I should have done…" he started ranting. Before he could say anything else a fist flew out and connected with his jaw sending him falling back. I looked to the side to see Edward standing there glaring at Jacob.
He then turned to me and his eyes softened immediately. "You know that's not true right he is full of crap and doesn't know what he is talking about." Edward said. I just nodded not really sure what else to say.
"and she has more than enough places to stay, so we are going to go get her stuff and then we will never have to see you again thank god" rose stated as they drug me out of the club to go get my things from Jake's apartment. I was not sure what life had in store for me but for the first time in way to long I was looking forward to it.
A/N: I hope you all liked the story I know I made jacob more cruel than the song might portray but thats how I saw the character. Please review and let me know what you think. I might do a small little chapter after this where she goes to see Mr. Johnson in the hospital. Thank you all so much for reading. I would really like a couple reviews just to know what people thought. I also may go back later and edit and add more to it. thanks again.
AlantaMire