He tells me that he needs to protect me because I'm not used to his world yet. But I know he does it because he sees me as a scared little girl. It seems so weird, to have him look at me that way, after getting so used to my yami. But then, at the exact same time, I'm not sure why I should think that. He's so different, he's so much more human, he's so much more of a man. So, even if to him I'm still little more than a scared little girl, at least I'm not a tool to be used and abused as he pleases.
Sometimes it's hard to remember that he's different. Sometimes all I see is the same white hair making a curtain around our faces, the same smirk on his face, even if it's not directed at me, which from him it rarely is. I try not to show the fear my heart remembers, but sometimes I can't keep a flash of panic off my face. My brain is too quick to recall images that I don't want to remember, phrases that sound the same on both tongues. I try to keep it from him; my heart hurts every time I see the look on his face when he sees me panic. That worried, hurt, face… it makes my heart hurt more than I can stand, until I start crying into his chest, begging him to forgive a scared little girl.
He feels so different. I've gotten used to slender hands, a thin frame, pale skin… a manly version of my own. He's nothing like my yami. He has big, rough, calloused hands, tan skin, and a more muscular frame than I've ever seen. His actions are different too… his hands threading gently through my hair rather than pulling it; wrapping my cuts and scrapes rather than making bruises and wounds; rubbing my neck in a comforting way, rather than choking me into submission; his arms guiding me gently rather than forcing me to do what he wants. But then, I've known for a long time that my yami was Zorc, with the thief king's memories. This man is most certainly not. Zorc is not gentle like he is. He makes sure he's never hurting me, since he is so much bigger, so much broader, than I, even though I'm long used to the motions.
I never want to leave this world. Even if it means that time never moves on, and the world stays stopped, right where we are now, I don't care. Even if the world keeps going, and my friends find my unconscious body, chest bound to look like a boy's, in the back room of the museum, I don't care. Even if my father has to take his daughter's body to the hospital, I don't care. Let me be selfish. Let them weep over me. Goodness knows I've done it enough for them. I want to stay here. I want to wake up to fingers threading through my hair, rough palms caressing down my spine, and soft , sweet, kisses when he knows I'm awake. Let me be selfish. Let me keep him with me forever. Let me be his scared little girl until the end of time.
If this world, this house, this bed, is to be my grave, then I welcome it. I am a scared little girl who has no place in the world I came from.
A/N: I just kinda wrote this on a whim. I actually did an "audio fanfic" for it, which is on youtube. www .youtube .com /watch ?v =- uKqp YZV0Ig
Just take out the spaces.