Wandering into the deep night devoid of moon and stars, I cannot discern dream from reality - Murasaki Shikibu.
Most nights, he would lie there, waiting for something, anything to happen, waiting for the darkness to finally consume him.
Most nights she arrived, her presence was announced only by the feeling he got, creeping up on the back of his neck. The light she emitted wasn't enough to dispel the darkness. Displace it, maybe, for a moment, but not enough to be completely rid of it.
Most nights, he could never see her clearly. She would stand in the doorway, watching him, until he fell asleep. She was never there come morning.
Most nights he would try to ask why she was there, how did she get in, and why she never spoke to him. But then, he would eventually realize, those questions were irrelevant and forgot them before they were ever fully formed in his head.
Most nights, he wished that she would come closer. Her light frame would flutter to his bedside, a small glow accompanied her as she sat beside him, stroking his cheek and smiling down at him.
Most nights he would lean into her hand and close his eyes, feeling her soft touch linger as he apologized for everything he put her through, for shutting her out and for keeping her in the dark. Most nights she would accept his words, gladly crawling under the covers with him and he would hold her to his body, feeling the rise and fall of her chest.
This night however, she refuses to come, no matter how loudly his mind beckons for her.
This night, there is no light to be had; he is left alone to the darkness.
This night, he's left wondering if she had ever come at all.
Before dawn, before the sun glimmers its rays upon me, I yearn to fade into the heavens. I wish this were naught but a dream - Murasaki Shikibu
Most nights, she comes with an express purpose in mind. Watching him, carefully, she waits for him to fall asleep, as if her presence alone were enough to calm him.
Most nights, she knows that she has only a few hours until she fades away.
Most nights, she doesn't care, and she remains steadfast in the doorway, with unabated loyalty.
Most nights, she wished that she could come closer, sit at his side, stroke his cheek and remember why she hadn't left to begin with.
Most nights, she heard his words, felt the warm glow that they brought, a welcomed feeling as she imagined herself in his arms, in his bed, the feeling of his breath against her neck.
This night, however, she leaves him, for the first time, to face the darkness on his own, a darkness she has only just realized, was created by him.
This night, she wont allow herself to go, feeling the light inside herself dim, the darkness slowly creeping up to her.
This night, she waits, alone, for the darkness to consume her.
A/N :
This was written for LJ's Thursday's 100 Plus Darkness Challenge.
This was an experiment in writing styles. I wrote this after reading The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu.
Thank you for reading, and sticking with it to the end. ^^