Rachel swiftly approaches Puck near his locker after third period. The rush of the crowd masks her footsteps and Puck is surprised when she speaks.

Rachel: "Are you really taking anabolic steroids?

Puck: "The Fuck?"

Rachel: Because if you are, I feel the need to warn you that anabolic steroids have many adverse side effects. Not the least of which include testicular atrophy and decreased sexual function in addition to gynecomastia, hyperlipidemia, cardiomyopathy, hypertension, severe psychological instability, and…

Puck: Whoa, whoa. Berry, I am NOT on steroids! Why the fuck would you ask me that?

Rachel: "Last week when we were walking in the hall, I noticed that your lovely arms were bigger. When I asked if you had been working out; you said and I quote: "It's the steroids" And while I know you have, in the past, used a number of illicit substances and participated in many reckless, immoral, astonishingly foolish and ultimately self-destructive activities; I can not conceive that someone who takes such obvious pleasure in sexual intercourse and pride in their sexual history and reputation would do something which could decrease and destroy all of the aforementioned for something so trivial as increased musculature; especially when what you have is already more than adequate and very pleasing."

For once Puck actually listens through an entire Berry rant and by the time she finishes his face has transformed from surprised, disgusted, and insulted to intrigued and self-assured. Puck leans one shoulder against the locker next to his. He faces Rachel with one brow raised, and a half grin- half smirk on his face. It is a look which she finds both irksome and extremely attractive. Puck takes his time looking Rachel up and down, taking in her red coat, green sweater with white doves, pleated skirt, and thick white leggings. As the silence builds, Rachel huffs, and indignantly stomps her right loafer covered foot.

R: "Well…"

P: "Well what?"

R: "Noah, are you or are you not taking steroids?"
P: "Berry, we really got to work on your listening skills. You can't be a "great conversationalist" without listening. I already told you No."

Rachel narrows her eyes suspiciously, "Then why did you say it?"

Puck shrugs his shoulder simply, "Honestly, I was just trying to get a reaction out of you." When Rachel frowns in confusion, Puck continues, "Look, you were all mopey and shit about Hudson being a liar, and Satan being an evil skank, that I figured you'd get distracted and start ranting at me like you've been for the past hour!" Ever since she busted up Quinn's bullshit celibacy club, a righteously indignant Rachel Berry rant is something he enjoys. "But you didn't even blink, to caught up in Finn's dirt to even care."

Rachel loudly cries, "I did care!" Her raised voice draws the attention of several stragglers. They both glance around; Puck glares at any one who dares to take a second look. Rachel shakes her head and continues in a more even tone, "I've been thinking about it constantly. I spent the last week researching so I could present you with a thoroughly, informed, factual intervention." "I can not believe that you would make up something like that! Especially about yourself." Puck arches his brow in response.

Rachel: "Are you actually saying that you made up such a horribly embarrassing lie about yourself, just to make me feel better?"

Puck: "Something like that"

Rachel squints, "I'm not sure if I should actually believe you."

Puck is actually he insulted. He scoffs, "What the fuck, Rachel! Have I ever lied to you?"

Rachel: "Well, in the fifth grade you told me…

Puck angrily interrupts, "I mean when it's important. Have I ever lied to you about anything that really matters?" When Rachel doesn't immediately respond, Puck turns away from her and slams the locker door shut. When he turns back to her, his face has returned to its usual mask of casual indifference but his eyes are blazing with anger and something which she can't identify.

Puck: "Look, Berry, I don't know how many times you need to hear it, but I am NOT taking steroids, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with my junk." Just to tease her, he drops his voice to an especially seductive tone, and grabs her fingers. He closes the space between them and looks directly into her eyes as he whispers, "I do Not have any problems with sexual stamina, and there is nothing small about my junk, Rach. If you want, you can find out for yourself." (yes he knows what atrophy means fuck you very much) When Puck moves her fingers as if to place her hand over his crotch, Rachel roughly jerks her arm away from him and takes a step back. Puck smirks at her motion and cocks his head. She knows that look, she HATES that look. It's his gotcha expression, his I know something you don't know, the you'll never get it look, the I'm bigger, badder, and better than you look. It's both a challenge and a dare, and it pisses her off. Rachel takes two steps forward and invades his space. She stares up at his eyes unflinchingly and states "Fine" through clenched teeth.

He blinks, "What?" Puck is completely confused, and a little turned on. That one word is the least he has ever heard Rachel speak; he wasn't sure she knew how to make small sentences.

Rachel: "I said, fine, Noah. Since you insist, I will examine your "junk" for the side effects of anabolic steroid usage. Please note that should such side effects be found, I will of course, report you to the proper authorities." She challengingly tilts her nose at him and orders him to be at her house at 7:30 tonight. She does a complete turn on the ball of her toes which causes her hair to fly in his face as she walks off.

Puck stands in the hall in complete shock for a full minute before his brain begins to process the sudden turn of events. Did Rachel Berry just invite him to, no, demand that he come to her house so she can check his balls? Seriously, what the fuck. He takes a minute to review the conversation and remembers that she complimented him not once, but twice, and admitted to being pleased with his form and constantly thinking about him. He thinks this is fair since she spends way too much time on his mind. He decides to show up tonight just to see how far she'll go and what else he can get her to admit. After all, he reasons, she and Finn are done, and Hudson's loss will definitely be his gain.