Hi, here's some stuff. Enjoy it and review, yes?
Warnings: unrequited love, a journey toward emotional release, some swearing (hence rating), my precious babies being unhappy…sad ending? I'm not sure what you consider sad *shrugs*, also vague metaphors :V and BL (kinda)
Pairings: Midorima/Takao, Midorima/Akashi, Aomine/Satsuki, Takao/OC
NOTE: JellybeanCake went and (awesomely) translated my story into Russian. If you would prefer to read the Russian version, the link is in my profile.
Their relationship is a metaphor in and of itself.
"Pull the rickshaw, Takao."
"Be quiet, Takao."
"Carry my lucky item, Takao."
That's it, really. That's their relationship in a nutshell and Takao wonders how it came to be. Why is it like this? Perhaps he was too lax with Midorima in the beginning – scratch that, he was, he totally was, but he blames it on those eyes.
There's certain significance in the fact that Shin-chan doesn't ask anymore. Not that he ever did, but Takao likes to dream that there was a time when they were equals in this craziness. A simple 'please' might have been nice, you'd think Midorima was a professional the way he spoke so politely and yet at the same time managed to slap you in the face with his words.
Hopeless. Takao knew. He knew but was helpless to stop it.
There's honestly no way to draw a line now without making it seem dramatic and rash – contrary to popular belief Takao's got great self-control…except when it comes to Midorima, then it doesn't exist. Anyway, the line. Their relationship has progressed too far into pining that Takao's certain if he even attempts to erect a line between them, all would be exposed. Not that he minds too much. It would be great to have Shin-chan know his feelings.
He's not ready for the rejection though. Sometimes he convinces himself that he is, but he really isn't. The day is drawing near nonetheless.
Takao noticed it a week ago. It's coming whether he wants it to or not.
It started with a text message. Midorima pausing a moment before practice to stare at his phone. The screen light reflected off his glasses and his face didn't change expression. Takao thought it might have been Mrs Midorima or Shin-chan's sister. It wasn't.
Then another text and Shin-chan interrupted coach to look at it. A third and Midorima actually bothered to reply.
The next day he replied to the first text and answered a phone call after practice. He walked out of the changing room to have some privacy. Takao wasn't the only one to notice, obviously. There was an unanimous agreement that Midorima was weird, but he was their weirdo, so they knew when normal behaviour was breached.
He told Takao not to bother fetching him in the rickshaw the next morning.
Takao cracked a joke, somehow hopeful that this change in behaviour meant he was finally going to be appreciated.
"You need not meet me before school at all, Takao."
So he hadn't meant meeting up, sans rickshaw. Takao shrugged and grinned. "Finally, I was getting tired of your face anyway." He wasn't, but Midorima's never caught him on that lie before.
The time is closing in. Takao heard Midorima making plans to meet someone on Friday night.
Shin-chan! On a date!
Takao made a hopeless fool of himself trying to goad the information from his…friend? Needless to say, he never got it.
Friday morning he struggles to force his smile. The senpai notice and let him off practice early to 'get some rest and find the real Takao'.
Saturday's practice match is a shock to most of them. It's not the fact that Rakuzan wins, or even that Shuutoku almost won. It's that Akashi and Midorima stand off to the side, their hands brushing during a water break.
Takao gags up the apple he ate for breakfast. "No, I'm not sick, senpai. I ate too soon before the game."
They let him off the hook, although everyone's a bit cautious on how to feel about this development. They only mention it when Midorima's left the changing rooms after the game.
"Akashi and Midorima, huh?" A senpai asks, his voice dripping with his frown.
"It would seem so." Another senpai.
A kouhai shudders and shakes his head, "Am I the only one disturbed by that?"
Takao freezes, caught between shame and the need to defend Shin-chan. "Because they're boys?"
"Because they're Midorima-san and Akashi-san," The kouhai states very seriously, his eyebrows about to climb into his hairline.
Takao turns back to getting changed and listens to the low murmur of agreement that he feel's too ashamed to join in on.
He decides that it's pointless. He never had a shot anyway. Besides, he always knew nothing would come of it, it was a nice thought. Painful, but nice, in the way that sometimes having a punctured lung is. He shrugs it off, getting torn up over something that was never his, that could never have been is pointless.
Sunday morning he calls Kagami Taiga to demand a practice match. He's busy, so no. Kise-kun and Izuki-san are busy too. Takao finally settles for phoning Aomine Daiki, he doesn't like him, but this is a last resort kind of thing. And if all Aomine does is wipe the court with Takao's bruised ass then he'll take it.
Distraction is the key.
Somehow the laziest Generation of Miracles' member agrees and this leaves Takao feeling like an idiot. Somehow.
It's weird.
He meets the man at a court shrouded in sunshine. It makes Takao feel sick to his stomach. But Aomine brought Momoi Satsuki with him and, wow, she's actually pretty funny.
Takao does get his ass handed to him, but he doesn't mind. He hasn't thought of Shin-chan in a good couple of hours. Aomine's annoying enough that it's like Midorima was never there to begin with. Satsuki suggests they all go for milkshake – Aomine grudgingly accepts on the account that she pay.
Takao ends up paying for all three of them.
It's worth the splurge. He discovers that Aomine and Satsuki are dating. Somehow. Somehow. It feels right, good. It feels like this is how it should be and Takao finds himself smiling beyond his abilities for the rest of the day.
They leave and Takao lies in bed. Staring at the roof but not seeing it.
Somehow.
Their relationship is a metaphor. It's cliché and it feels like this is how things should be.
Takao closes his eyes around the memory of Aomine pulling at a strand of Momoi's hair.
He doesn't meet up with Shin-chan the next morning, doesn't look at his bicycle as he walks off toward the train station.
Metaphors, he finds, can be good or bad.
He'll draw the line. Midorima's already walked far enough away from him that he'll probably not notice its presence.
He wants the kind of metaphor he saw yesterday. He's tired of the no-please and the distance. He wants syrup and cherry blossoms.
His mom always said he could capture the world. For now he'll just capture the correct metaphor.
So he does, or at least he tries to. Midorima is in half his classes so it's harder to forget the feelings singing in his belly than he accounted for. But he tries and that must count for something, because he finds a love note in his locker and the girl in his art class smiled at him when he showed her his ideas.
Not that he really thought any of this through. Line, yes, and metaphor changing, check. He forgot to give Midorima the memo though and it's actually rather stupid because how could he ever have thought Shin-chan would just…not notice.
He does, he notices and he's probably just as confused as Takao, likely more so. Midorima doesn't know, so Takao really can't fault him his frown or the terse edge to his words.
"People grow up, they move on, Midorima-kun." He says this with some conviction, with certainty. He avoids saying 'Shin-chan' since that would be a mistake and he can't make any mistakes at this point. "I'll see you at practice. Remember to get water before,"
Takao's wave is brief and hardly as enthusiastic as it used to be, but that's okay. He found out the girl from art is the one who put the note in his locker and she's kind, sweet. She compliments Takao's terrible depictions of the human figure. He can learn to like her.
It still pangs when Midorima stands on the side of the court though and types away at his phone. God knows why Shin-chan only replies to Akashi.
Takao shakes his head. Pointless. There's no use being jealous. Somehow things will work out. They always do.
The human heart is fleeting in the pleasures it takes, so Takao just determines he's got to find less perverse pleasures than pining after his friend.
Another game with Aomine. "You're getting better,"
"Thanks,"
"You still suck,"
Takao laughs and combs back his hair. This is good. It is.
He asks the girl from art – Haruka – out. It's more like inviting her to watch their game against Saijou High, but she doesn't seem to mind and she screams his name from the spectator stands. Three seats away from Aomine and Satsuki. He waves like a maniac and can hear Haruka's laughter from the court.
Aomine later tells him that he thinks she's nice. Takao senses that there's hidden meaning there but doesn't bother to find it. If Aomine has something to say, he'll say it.
The senpai goad him for getting a girlfriend and for once he's bashful when fending off their teasing. Somehow. He's new to this. Midorima quirks a brow at him, but it feels hollow. Whatever was left of their relationship (there's no use calling it friendship, that's not what friendship was supposed to be like) is gone. He thinks. Takao kind of hopes this means he won't be invited to Midorima's wedding when he and Akashi decide to tie the knot.
But that's a long way off, and Takao has a girlfriend. She's nice. The line is a thick border of smudged ink. The metaphor is reshaping.
It doesn't feel good yet though. He keeps trying.
Satsuki labels him 'happy by necessity'. He doesn't understand, or well, he does, but he doesn't want to.
Haruka seems to get it though. She takes his hand, presses a kiss to his cheek and asks that they rather be friends. He's more relieved than he'll ever admit.
They 'double-date', although it's not really a date if they're friends is it? Satsuki and Haruka discuss nail polish for a good half an hour. Aomine grumbles around his snack of blue berries and Takao jabbers with the old man waiting in line with them for the next movie.
He doesn't expect to see Midorima. Midorima with Akashi. Their heads bent low as they seem to try and decide on a movie.
Takao feels the old gagging wiggle up his throat and has to grab Aomine's arm to steady him. He thought he was over this. He'd drawn the line. Changed the metaphor. He'd gone almost two months without any personal conversations with Shin-chan.
It feels as if both lungs were deflating.
"You okay?" Aomine asks, his voice gruff and coloured in the scent of fruit.
Takao bites down on his lip to keep from crying and shakes his head.
"Takao?"
"I wanna go home."
Aomine puts an arm around him, and turns to the girls. "Yeah, sure." It's unanimous.
Apparently friendship means they'll force you to watch a movie anyway.
Takao and Satsuki sob their way through the Titanic while Haruka and Aomine battle in a game of cards. He falls asleep with at least two other bodies pressed against him.
It's okay. Or at least it will be.
"You are getting better."
He pauses, looks at the unexpected newcomer and swallows. He's not sure if it's a complement. "Thanks." The basketball burns his palms orange and he tries to ignore Akashi's watchful glare from the bench. He wonders who let the Rakuzan captain into their court. Then again, it's Akashi Seijurou, he probably let himself in.
Takao stops to wipe away some sweat. "Midorima's doing laps with the senpai." Takao's been given control of the kouhai's drills.
Akashi nods. The action reminds Takao of Shin-chan, but less defined. It's almost as if the nod doesn't happen.
He blinks and turns back to survey the kouhai, trying to find a place to help out. Akashi makes his skin crawl.
"Takao Kazunari-san," Takao twitches, but turns. "I believe it would be beneficial to us both if you would stop avoiding Shintarou."
His muscles spasm and every bone in his body seems to lock. He can feel his face burning and his eyes promising pain without his intention. "No offense, Akashi-san, I don't think who I choose to spend my time with is any of your fucking business."
The rest of practice is a mess of tripping and stumbling over his advice, he misses the basket a few too many times. When it comes to an end he snatches up his phone and calls Aomine.
He only has two words to convey. "Help me."
It's hours later over a Skype call that Satsuki snorts and rolls her eyes at him. "Akashi isn't going to kill you, Kazu-chan."
"I doubt it." Aomine says around a yawn. "He's totally going to kill you."
"Not helping," Satsuki hisses and somehow this helps Takao take his first real deep breath.
Clearly word spreads fast in the old Teiko team, because the next morning Midorima is waiting for Takao at the school gate and there's this ridiculously long moment in which they simply stare at each other.
Midorima says, "I spoke to Seijurou,"
Takao feels a part of his heart turn black. He faces the school and sighs. "Can we talk inside? It's cold this morning."
Their trek is silent and bristling with discomfort, neither of them really wants to have this conversation. Takao knows that this is where it ends, whatever spark of hope they had at being friends, ends now. Somehow he doesn't feel sick, just empty. Kind of nostalgic and cold.
Before Midorima can get his confrontation out of the way Takao raises a hand to stall him. "I liked you. Like, a lot. But you can be a real asshole, Midorima." Takao says this with the knowledge that he needs to get it out of the way, with the desire to rid himself of these bottled secrets. "You order people around and you don't care what it does to them. I'm glad you've got Akashi, that you two can be bossy together and rule the world. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stand around and act the devoted puppy anymore. I deserve to be happy just as much as you do. I'm done with being pushed around, I don't want you or Akashi expecting anything from me. Not anymore. I'm your team mate, we play basketball, that's it."
Takao's unsure of how to categorise the look on Midorima's face, in the end he doesn't have to.
"You were my first real friend, Takao." He pushes up his glasses and gives a nod. "If you wish to terminate our friendship on these grounds I will not stop you."
Takao feels like swearing and so he does. "Fuck you," he snaps and more than a few heads turn in their direction. "You don't get to say that after everything. I'm your first real friend? You've got a shitty way of showing it. And don't give me that self-righteous bullshit about letting me have what I want. You don't care what I want, you never did." Takao shoves Midorima back. "Take you polite insecurity and use it on someone else."
It was probably not his wisest decision. Certainly not. But it felt good, even though it hurt. It felt good to be in control of this, to highlight and bold the line between them – a line that he didn't realise had actually been there the whole time. The metaphor was more complex than he ever assumed.
He celebrates with a carton of chocolate milk. He deserves this.
And later when he goes to phone Aomine and boast over his ability to take command he's startled by the text message waiting for him.
I liked you too. - M
I sail the MidoTaka ship faithfully, but this happened...so, yeah, whatever. Review? :')