"Well?"
"He certainly seems able. But do you think he'll succeed?"
"Dear brother, I believe we should leave that question for him to answer."
"Yes, indeed."
"Constants and variables, dear brother. Constants and variables."
A doorway opens, a bright white light under a dark night sky in New Mexico.
The figure of a man carrying a briefcase steps out, straightening his tie. The man looks around, surveying his surroundings.
"Who is that?"
"For once, I have no answer."
The man looks up, seemingly satisfied with something. As he turns to leave, the man stops for a moment.
He turns, looking directly at the Lutece Twins, and smirks.
"Well... that was definitely unsettling."
"That hasn't happened before. How odd."
"Who was that man anyway?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Do you suppose he rows?"
At approximately 8:39 AM, the sound of a face-palm echoed through the Black Mesa desert.
Eleven miles away, Gordon Freeman woke up with a start.
He groggily checked the time, turning to-
Gordon did a double-take.
The clock read 8:39 AM.
Gordon had to check in from Sector C at 8:15.
The sound of a strangled scream rang across the Black Mesa Research Facility.
The scream startled Gina Cross, who unknowingly dropped her orange juice onto Sample GG-3883.
A universe away, Gordon Frohman replaces the Xenian Crystal with cheese, unknowingly causing the Resonance Cascade and dooming Humanity to years of brutal enslavement.
And he finds a pet Gargantua.
A short interruption from our regular broadcasting!
It has been confirmed that TheEndlessHorizon is working on more than one story and is planning to put all of them on hiatus.
We must act!
Five minutes later...
TheEndlessHorizon is sitting at his desk when three men dressed in red uniforms break open the door.
"No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
Suddenly the roof disappears and a purple ship hovers over them.
"You are, TheEndlessHorizon, vermin. Cowering in the dirt, thinking what? That you might escape the coming flaming? No. Your account will burn until its stories are but glass."
G-Man, a crow firmly attached to his head, flies up to the side of the ship.
"FALCON PUNCH!"
The ship turns into a giant Garry's Mod mingebag, who proceeds to do Gangnam Style.
...
And then sanity got fed up, packed its bags, and left.
And now back to our scheduled program...
Quarter-life : raised the bar!
...
gorram freshman was in train with evil combines, then samel give godan mask. Goran put on mask and then combines came to cit sevteen, so godron had t run fast to escape then he wen t combies factorie
and then kleiner give hev sut and suddenly a headcrab and then gordon had to run fast until kleiner sais "is lamarr, firendlt.
then godn got wepon! and shotted at combines and hen went to airec and dept adn weather cntrl and went on hyperboea to kaken bas and shotted at eveil combines an zombie gohsts.
then he went to back on c-130 and crash on skyscrapr an attack with captin vace an consri.a fight strider
an g-man flew by on his magicl fling h9overcrat and explodd an gorram went ans alx to cunsol and sad "stop evil combines" but...
combines said no so consol eyes turn blu an say what?"
Suddenly two idenkal twin calls LUTECE! and braney explodd!then lutece merg an becom GMAN!
gMan said "I was mastrmnid of evil combines and mindcontroled bren for evill!
NO! grodn shout as dewtt appear in portol with elizabett an garb lutce/gmna into portol and ecit as Gman pull citadel core collpase!
consul an gorram an alx an combines run fast but too late!
the citadel sratst ecppldoded an they weer domoded or were they?
...
to be continued?...
And that, kids, is how Science was made. You monsters.