Let's pretend the last few minutes of 4x11 and the finale never happened, this is just fluff, I'm not good with smut, hell I'm not good with writing in general haha. Like I've said in my previous one shot: I'm not a writer. I just love this ship so much it physically hurts my hearts and I couldn't resist writing this.
Description: Just my favourite two fantasizing how their life would be like if Bea wasn't in prison for life.
After Harry, Bea didn't think she would actually fall for someone else romantically (Not that she loved Harry). That was until Allie Novak waltzed into H1. No, it wasn't love at first sight. Bea didn't even know what that meant and felt like. She didn't know what it felt like to love someone and be loved in return. Well there was Debbie: who she loved and loved her back- but Debbie was her daughter. She knew what platonic love felt like but not the romantic affectionate type. She didn't know how it felt like to be that someone special that somebody can't stop thinking about. Bea didn't believe she could ever have that romance bullshit she read in books (like Nicholas Sparks novels) or in romantic movies that Bea used to see when she had the time, and when Harry wasn't around.
But there was definitely something, when she met Allie. Something that Bea couldn't quite grasp and come to her senses with.
When Bea got her life sentence, she gave up on romance- if she hadn't before, she definitely did then. She thought she'd never find romance before, now she was in prison for life, how is she going to ever find love in there? Oh boy, how wrong she was.
Of course, Bea didn't like Allie that way when she first encountered her. That is until the time she saw her in the showers. Bea thought Allie was just a threat to her, someone who'd she have to fight for her to keep the top dog position, but when Allie slid down the tiles and was ready to dive in, Bea felt like she got hit by a shit ton of bricks.
How can someone even like her- that way even?
'How can someone like me after what I've done?'
'I'm nothing but a murderer.'
Allie was different. She saw that when the blonde had burst in when Bea was in her most vulnerable position; the side nobody was allowed to see, not even her friends. Hell if somebody had walked on her instead of Allie, she would have to threaten them to not even breathe a word of what they just witnessed. But not Allie. She didn't know why but Allie was different; she had this aura around her that Bea couldn't recognize but it felt like home.. Allie felt like a warm cozy sweater on a cold winter's night. So Bea allowed herself to open up, to cry around her, to let the young woman console her.
She had promised herself to not care about her. 'Everyone I care about ends up dead' Bea kept thinking, fighting so hard to keep that thought strong in her mind, along Franky's words of 'You are the grim fucking reaper.' Sure, Bea knew Franky was just angry and probably regretted those words after spitting them out but Bea had so many damn insecurities, so many sadness in her- she lost Debbie and that felt like she lost everything- that Bea believed them. And so, she promised herself she'd never care about anyone else, isolate herself from having feelings, from ever caring about someone again because in the end she will just end up losing them and losing herself again.
Allie was so damn persistent, she knew what she wanted and she wasn't giving up anytime soon- if not ever. Bea's thoughts ended up fucked as she quickly found her falling for the younger woman. The feeling was so new; she didn't even recognizing it at first. Everything was so foreign; the rush, the bubbling sensation in the pit of her stomach, a zoo of butterflies fluttering about whenever she saw her and the damn firework sparks that she felt when they connected their lips with each other. She felt like her body was America when it was 4th of July. Everything was new for Bea and it was exciting yet so fucking scary.
So that's it. That how they ended up here: tangled up within each other, Bea's red blanket covering their naked bodies. She had found her right person that Allie spoke of when they had their first sex talk.
It was her.
Experiencing love with Allie felt ethereal for Bea. Who would have thought that she'd find the person she most lingered in prison? The thought of 'Why didn't we meet before? Before it all went to shit and ended up here.' kept swirling around Bea's mind. If there was something positive that came out from being with Harry was Debbie, but she was ripped from her at such a young age.
Bea didn't even know how long they've been lying there in her bed, in her prison cell. She looked at Allie who was sleeping soundly, soft small murmurs leaving her mouth. She reached out and moved the blonde hair covering most of her face, and Allie slowly reacted to Bea's faint touch, moving her head slowly before mumbling something.
She couldn't believe this beautiful goddess was hers. She couldn't even stop the grin forming on her face, she felt like a lovesick teenager who just got a text back from their crush. She had a right to feel this way, to feel happy; it has been a while. She had Allie to thank for that.
Bea couldn't sleep; the feeling that travelled through her body and targeted her heart kept her awake. That was all caused by the girl lying next to her, whom she couldn't stop staring at. Suddenly Allie's bright eyes fluttered open, immediately boring into Bea's twinkling eyes.
"Heya beautiful." Allie mumbled, shuffling closer to Bea, who was still smiling. She hugged her closer, crashing their warm bodies together again.
Bea smiled at how adorable Allie sounded, she could get used to waking up to that tone every day. She slowly crept over, kissing Allie's soft lips. "Hey."
"So, how was it? Was it good for you as it was for me?" Allie asked, suddenly worried. They hadn't uttered a word after, the moment was too precious to be ruined and sleep had taken over them.
Bea laughed, "Are you seriously asking me that, Allie? It was incredible, thank you." Bea assured her as she stroked her back.
"For what?"
"For showing me what love really feels like, and for showing me what sex really feels like." Bea replied with a shy tone.
"I told ya before didn't I?" Allie said with a cheeky grin, referring to their "sex talk". Bea let out a scoff of laughter and lightly pushed her.
"No, but in all seriousness, the feeling is mutual. You know my previous business how It was just to please somebody else... but this, us, it made me feel loved, like I wasn't just doing it to pleasure you- I mean, yeah that too," She laughed, " but it was mutual, you know? It wasn't forced, I wanted this, I wanted you" Allie added.
Tears swelled in Bea's eyes, she laughed at how emotional she got. "Sorry." She had said. " I'm just glad you felt like that too."
Allie said nothing, but simply kissed her, which spoke a thousand words.
"I love you." Allie let out as she pulled away. It was the first time she had said it after saying it in the bathroom, where Bea didn't say it back.
"I love you too, you beautiful girl" (A/N: I'm crushed.)
Before Allie could even blink, Bea leaned forward and pressed their lips together once more. The kiss was passionate, raw and full of emotions. She had just told her she loved her. Allie quickly followed, slowly placing her hands on Bea's waist as Bea was sinking onto her. She then trailed her hands to Bea's face, placing them on her cheeks, not stopping the kiss but pulling her in closer. They laid there for a little while, lips speaking for their feelings until they both ran out of breath. Bea pulled away, giggling as she pressed her face into Allie's shoulder, to which made Allie smirk at her reaction.
"Wow. I can clearly say that you got the hang of things now." Allie said, still smirking.
"I'm sorry, I'm just- this is all new and I love it, I love it and I love you." Bea said truthfully.
Allie nodded and kissed her forehead. Bea was now in Allie's embrace, her face lying on her chest, hearing the faint sounds of her heartbeat.
"Allie?" Bea asked, slowly lifting her face to see her expression.
"Hmm?"
"Did you, or do you.. Ever think of what we could have been if we met before?" She asked her voice hushed and low.
Allie nodded, "Yeah, honestly I did. I mean I thought about what it would be like if we ever got out of this place, If... if you-" Allie paused, bit her lip.
"If I weren't a lifer?" Bea finished for her with a sigh. Allie simply nodded.
Allie looked at her and continued. "I started thinking about that ever since after our first kiss." She admitted, letting out a small laugh.
"Really? That early?" Bea teased.
"Hey! You know I was head over heels for you, still am." She told her, smiling and pretending to sound hurt. Bea lifted up and kissed her, then lied down again. "I know, I'm sorry baby."
"Hm, I like the sound of that." Allie grinned.
"So, what did you think about... baby." Bea asked rather curiously as she played with Allie's blonde hair.
"Well, I thought about everything really." Allie started, " I thought about where we'd live, how we'd decorate our place and how our careers would work out. Who would do the shopping-"
"We'd do that together. The shopping, I mean." Bea interrupted, to which Allie cocked her head in a 'You think?' motion. " Yeah, we would go together on a Saturday, with a shopping list for a whole month in my hand and you'd control the shopping cart." Bea laughed and so did Allie. "We would argue on which kind of cereal we'd buy and then we end up buying both."
Allie laughed, staring at the ceiling and imagining the scenario in her head. "Continue." Bea's voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Well, who would cook dinner, which probably would be me as you'd be staying late at the hair salon, and I'd be the annoying girlfriend who'd send "I miss you" text almost every five minutes." Allie said, giggling as she traced Bea's collarbones. "Then you'd come home and we'd eat dinner together, than just chilling down, cuddling as we watched a movie."
"What kind of movie?" Bea asked, "Not horror, I'm not good with that shit."
"Well, then I would make sure we'd watch a scary one just so you could clutch on to me." Allie teased.
"We don't need a horror movie for me to clutch on to you, Alliecat." Bea replied. "Because from the moment I'd come home from work, I wouldn't let go of you." She added, to which Allie gasped and laughed.
"Okay so anything but horror. I'd think we'd have this little DVD collection even though we would also have a subscription to Netflix." Allie told her and Bea nodded. " You'd be the one who keeps ordering the DVD right after we watch the movie on Netflix." Bea joked and Allie mumbled "True, true."
"But you on the other hand would have this collection of 80's music on Vinyl's to play on your record player." Allie said which made me raise an eyebrow and nod. She stayed silent, hoping Allie would continue.
"We'd have a cat and you'd be the one spoiling her and letting her sleep in the middle like she's our little child." Allie said and then shook her head. "Nah actually that's me."
"Why not a dog? We'd get a Golden Retriever pup, who would be like our son and we'd take him everywhere with us. You'd pretend he annoys you but you secretly love him."
"Why not get both?" Allie suggested, laughing as she could just picture it; Bea with the little golden retriever pup, Allie with the cat.
Bea nodded, "Yeah, I feel like we would get them both so they wouldn't be lonely when we're at work." She agreed. "What else?" She asked.
"Who would do the cleaning, to which by the way I think we'd do it together. We would split the house and race each other on who cleans the fastest. We would put on a Spotify playlist on and just rock on." Then Allie let out a snort, " Oh God Bea, I can imagine you! Shorts, tank top, messy hair bun and swinging around the mop while cleaning."
"Piss off!" Bea said pushing Allie as she continued laughing, then she couldn't help but to start laughing herself.
"We would so annoy the neighbours." Allie shared as she placed her hand on Bea's and played with her fingers. "Yeah? How so?" Asked Bea.
"Well, we would blast loud music while cleaning or on our free days while messing around. We would have really loud sex every ni-"
Bea got redder than her blanket and pushed her again, harder this time and Allie almost fell of the bed. "No we wouldn't! We'd be quiet."
"Uh huh, nope. See you'd be the loud one and then when you take out the rubbish out in the morning, you wouldn't look at our neighbour in the eyes, knowing they heard you." Allie teased with a smirk which made Bea blushed even more.
"Moving on.." Allie trailed as she smiled, "I seriously think we'd be the most adorable couple ever. Sometimes when you have off days from the salon, I'd make you breakfast in bed, and then dessert.." Allie winked. " I'm kidding... but seriously."
"I think on Sunday's we would go out for lunch in the afternoon and you would always post what you're gonna eat on Instagram." Bea joked, and Allie laughed but agrees, knowing that she would really do that.
Then he laughed stopped and they just laid there in silence, both enjoy the conversation. Bea sighed and shuffled a bit to get comfortable. "Do you think we'd fight?"
Allie nodded her head, " Oh yes, most deffo." She then laughed, making Bea questioning her.
"It's just, we would fight on silly things and yet you'd still be all like I hope you'll find the couch comfy tonight." Allie said in a stern voice, mocking Bea. "Then you all would be the one who apologizes and begs me to come back to bed because you miss me too me." She continued teasing making Bea giggle.
"Or I'd find you clutching your pillow pretending it's me you're cuddling." Bea teased back and she felt Allie shrug.
"I'm not even gonna deny that, you know I'd miss you too much."
Bea smiled, she felt warm, happy, and she felt in love.
"Oh! And also," Allie started, " we'd turn the spare room into a gym for you so you can work out at home"
Bea laughed, "is that your idea for me not to leave the house? Not even to go to the gym?"
Allie scoffed. "No but you'd always complain about the subscription and there will be days you wouldn't want to go out, so a workout room would be efficient for you." Bea nodded, agreeing with what Allie said.
"You really thought of everything haven't you?"
"Yep, basically." Allie quickly replied not even wanting to hide the cheeky smile that was forming.
Bea thinks Allie's bright sunshine smile is contagious as she finds herself smiling as well. Then her face fell, she sighed and scooted even closer to Allie.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Allie asked, popping up on her hand as she looked over Bea, a worried expression on her face.
Bea tried to look away; she tried not to stare into Allie's beautiful eyes that were hovering above her. Tears swelled in her eyes as she finally broke contact and looked away. "I'm sorry." Her voice cracked and she could feel Allie's warm hand on her face, trying to get her to look at her and asking what was wrong.
She finally had to courage to stare back at Allie. She shook her head indicating it was silly. "I don't regret what I did to Brayden. He deserved it for what he done to Debbie." Bea started, her voice low and Allie nodded in agreement. "But I'm sorry that I'm a lifer. That I can't give that to you because you're here for 10 years and I'm here for fucking ever and I just-" Soft lips on hers cut her off.
"You were rambling." Allie said, smiling softly as she pulled away. Bea smiled sadly at her.
"Look, I don't care that we can't have that fantasy. What I care about is that we are together; you and me, here and in this moment." Allie started and she softly played with Bea's hair. "We don't have to think about that, okay? I love you and what matter is right now, every little moment that I'll treasure forever." Allie finished, a knot forming in her throat.
Bea let out a cry and smiled, "Gosh, I fucking love you." She said and pulled Allie on top of her, slowly kissing her pink soft lips and linking their foreheads when Bea pulled away.
"I love you too my little seahorse." Allie said to Bea, making her look down and grin. "We should really get dressed." Allie mumbled as she kissed Bea's exposed shoulder.
Bea shuffled closer. "Maybe later, right now I just want to stay in this moment." Allie couldn't agree more.
Thanks for reading.
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