In which Lucy is a waitress, Aquarius is a scary café owner, Happy is a mischievous kitty, Virgo has emotions, and Natsu is just a sexy cat owner looking for his blue cat.

Lucy groaned as the loud group of businessmen left. As a cute waitress for the Zodiac Café, for once could she get a table without getting a pat on the bum or a flirty wink? "Lucy! You better not be slacking off out there!" A familiar, terrifying voice called from the back office. Not wanting to face Aquarius' wrath, Lucy hurriedly cleaned up the tables while her friend and fellow coworker Virgo, who rang up the register, rolled her eyes and snickered quietly.

Meanwhile, a small blue cat was currently weaving through the crowds, amused as his owner scrambled after him, calling his name frantically. He was on a mission to find his master a female for company. God knows he's hopeless with them. "Happy! For the love of hellfire can you come back here?" His owner, Natsu, yelled. Happy meowed a 'no' and continued on his way, spotting a suitable looking human female taking out the trash from what he assumed was her workplace, a little café building. He ran over and slipped in with her as the door opened.

Lucy stretched after taking out the trash, feeling her back pop from the exertion as she walked back inside. For moment she felt something brush against her ankle, but saw nothing. A giggle from Virgo startled her, and she stared at the pretty kitty on the counter, mewing at Virgo as she stroked it's…blue fur? It was a blue cat with a white stomach and a white tipped tail, like it had been drenched in blue dye from above. "Virgo, where did that cat come from?" Lucy asked, surprised. "I saw him slip in when you came back inside from the garbage run." Virgo said, a rare smile on her face. "Though why Aquarius has our little Star Princess on the garbage run is a mystery to me. Right kitty?" The pinkette asked the kitten, who mewed an agreement. "I told you not to call me that! Don't go giving people ideas. Or cats." Lucy huffed, moving over so that she could pet the fluffy blue being.

"He's like a little blue alien…" She muttered. "Funny, because last I checked, we were waitresses for a space themed café." Virgo chuckled, wiggling her eyebrows at the blonde. Lucy rolled her eyes, picked up the cat to cuddle him, and was about to respond, when the door opened at the strangest (read, sexiest) looking male Lucy had ever seen was in the doorway, flushed and looking like he had run a marathon. "Happy! There you are you darn cat!" He exclaimed, relieved at the sight of his cat not flattened by a car or something worse. "Sir? Is this your cat?" Lucy asked, raising an eyebrow. The pink haired male nodded. "Yeah, he's my cat. He ran off while I was unloading the car with groceries. This is the third time this week he's done this." He explained, finally moving out of the doorway having caught his breath.

Lucy handed his cat over, looking a bit sad as she did. "I'm Natsu, Natsu Dragneel. This here is Happy." The man introduced himself, smiling cheerfully as he held out his hand in a greeting. Lucy smiled back (how could she not? He was adorable!) and shook his hand. "Lucy Heartfilia. Pro Cat Catcher." She added, joking. Natsu chuckled at that and she had to stop herself from melting at the sound. "Hey, this place is pretty cool. A café, right? Do you guys have actual food? Chasing after this little guy tends to work up an appetite." Natsu said, slightly embarrassed as his stomach growled.

Laughing, Lucy nodded and went to grab him a menu. After he ordered half the whole menu, plus a fish for Happy, Lucy took her break and sat down with him, sipping a strawberry milkshake. "So, why is Happy blue?" She inquired. "Eh? Oh, well, that's kind of my fault. I'm a chemistry major, and I was working on perfecting a permanent dye that doesn't wash out that my dad had created." Natsu started.

"Is that what happened to your hair?" Lucy butted in, raising an eyebrow at his spiky salmon colored fluff. "Nah, this is one hundred percent natural!" He said proudly.

"But anyways, the dye I was working on was a bright blue color, and I was experimenting on its shelf life. You know, how long it lasts on a shelf. I left a bucket of the stuff out on the table overnight, and Happy somehow managed to knock it over and got drenched. He used to be gray and white before that. It seems that leaving it overnight makes it stronger and harder to get rid of. It also affects the hair that's growing out of your head, too. So no matter how much you cut it, it will still grow out whatever color you dye it." He sighed, looking dejected as he munched on a chicken leg. "Hey! It just means you have a unique cat to go with a unique person!" Lucy blurted out in an attempt to cheer him up. Natsu grinned at that. "Yeah, I guess it does!"

Looking at her watch, Lucy noticed that her break was nearly over. "Well, I have to go back to work. See you around?" She asked hopefully as she got up to leave for the counter. Natsu nodded. Virgo had come around with a check, which he paid for in the middle of the story and finished eating. He got up, cat in hand, and moved for the door. Before he exited, he shot her the cutest smile (oh hot damn that was the sexiest smile she'd ever seen with the pretty white teeth and- were those fangs? 'Virgo send help I'm going to melt-') and said, "I'm definitely coming back for more."

Happy purred, mission complete.

Meanwhile, a few minutes after Natsu had left, Virgo was trying to shake a melted overheated Lucy back to life. "Lucy! Wake up! Argh! Damn you, Dragneel smile!" Virgo cursed. Lucy was still out of commission from dealing with the hot pink haired male. Aquarius looked at them from the counter top.

"Damn. The blonde brat's got it bad." She smirked.

Dear god this took way too long to write-

But yeah. Have your one-shot! :D yay-

And yeah, based on the song How To Warp. Kinda. Not really. I just needed a prompt for this and the idea hit me like a frying pan while I was listening to How To Warp by Miku Hatsune.

Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-pu-de~

:3