A hideous creaking sound, like a scream, rang out in the distance. A rusted iron rail, hanging out nearly perpendicular to the pile of trash it was sticking out of finally snapped in two after 253 years. The piece of rail crashed into a deep puddle, spraying water everywhere. On the rocks, in the puddles, on other mountains of garbage. Among the monoliths of plastic and stone, four small figures sat in a circle, untouched by the errant droplets. In the center of the circle, there was a mangled tire with a piece of plywood laid on top of it.

The first figure, clad in red, turned to the sound of the rail's demise.

"What the hell was that?!" She yelped. "Amethyst, you're telling me you still didn't bubble the Slinker?"

"The Slinker is none of your biz." A violet figure, presumably Amethyst, retorted.

"Calm down." A saccharine yet monotonous voice spoke. "I do not see any possibilities where the Slinker attacks us." The blue figure from which it came adjusted her thick, eye-obscuring bangs.

"Good." The final figure affirmed. "Now that we've ensured that this… 'Slinker'... is not a threat, let's begin… whatever this is."

"It's called Cards Against Humanity, Peridot." Amethyst replied with a hairflip.

"Whatever." Peridot grunted.

"To be honest, I'm curious about all of this as well. What is this game all about?" The blue figure inquired.

"EXCELLENT QUESTION, SAPPHIRE!" Amethyst jumped up onto the makeshift table and held up a rectangular object with the words "The bigger, blacker box." written on it in white as if it was baby Jesus.

"It's only the best thing humans have ever invented in the history of EVER!" Amethyst proudly declared.

"Yeah, but what the hell is it?" The red figure growled, annoyed by Amethyst's beating-around-the-bush. Sapphire clasped her hand, and it was as if all the tension had been drained from the red figure's body. They gazed lovingly into each other's' eyes, ignorant of their surroundings, even Amethyst singing "Ruby and Sapphire, sitting in a tree~. F-U-C-K-I-N-G~." and Peridot's subsequent giggling like a 12-year-old.

Yes, Amethyst had so graciously taught Peridot the fine art of sex jokes, among other things. Peridot was initially in a near- constant state of confusion over Earth customs, so she put her technical expertise to work and designed a pair of implants, each to be attached to the back of a gemstone. The implant was activated mentally, receiving a coded energy wave followed by a pulse which carried data. This data was signaled to the other implant, which then transcribed it into a message that was displayed in the other Gem's mind. It was, for all intents and purposes, a mental texter, to be used when Peridot was curious about something. Amethyst could just send her the thought, instead of wasting her time with a long-winded and confusing explanation. This was borderline necessary for what they were about to do.

"Ok, so basically it's this card game-"

"Well no shit, Amethyst."

"Shut up Ruby. As I was saying before I got so rudely interrupted, Card Against Humanity is a game about asking funny questions and getting funny answers. Basically, there's somebody who takes a black card and reads it, they're called the Card Czar."

Amethyst gestured to the tall stack of white cards in the center of the "table". "The other people then pick their white card that would be the funniest- we all get seven, by the way. If you have a deck of crappy white cards, you can trade them in for seven new ones, but only seven. When the Card Czar has everyone's cards, he'll read them all out loud with the black card and decides which one is the funniest. The person who sent the funniest card gets the black card. Then the next person in the circle becomes the Card Czar, and the cycle starts all over again. Whoever has the most black cards by the end wins!"

Murmurs of intrigue surrounded Amethyst as she began dealing the white cards. "Uh, I think I'll let Ruby go first. Should be interesting."

Ruby however wasn't listening. She was leaned against Sapphire, whispering something.

"First one to laugh has to carry the other around all day." Ruby said.

"Challenge accepted." Sapphire whispered back. "You've already dug your own grave."

"Ruby! Stop talking dirty to Sapphire and pick a damn card already!"

"Sure, whatever." Ruby drew the first black card.

As Ruby prepared to read her black card, Sapphire thought back to the broken rail and briefly wondered if it was to forewarn her of future chaos. She didn't even need to use her future sight to know the answer.