"Happy get her out of here!" Lucy looked at Natsu as Happy picked her up starting to fly away to gain some distance "Natsu be careful!" Natsu gave her his signature grin with a thumbs up unfortunately, Lucy didn't know this was the last time that she would see that grin of his

"NATSU!" Lucy's eyes widened as she quickly sat up covered in sweat still in her small bed. She looked around realizing that it had been the same dream that haunted her ever since she took that stupid job, that stupid stupid job.

"Lucy... Are you ok?" Lucy looked to the side to see the small blue exceed half awake beside her. She nodded quickly not wanting to admit what she had dreamed... Again "y-yeah Happy, just a bad dream is all"

Happy nodded too sleepy to ask more questions and quickly fell asleep while Lucy got out of bed walking over to her dresser opening it pulling out the white piece of scaly looking fabric but was somehow extremely soft. She picked it up moving it to her face sniffing still catching a small scent of Natsu even though it had been nearly a year, she held it close to her mumbling quietly to herself "I'm so sorry... So so sorry Natsu... Its all my fault..."

She stood there for almost half an hour trying not to break down crying and wrapped the scarf around herself walking back to bed laying down looking at the small exceed curled up into a ball laying beside her and lightly pet him whispering "I'm sorry to you too Happy... Maybe if I was stronger..."

Lucy quickly shook her head remembering all the times that Natsu told her she wasn't weak, especially at the Grand Magic Games when she had lost against Flare. Even though they were positive Raven Tail cheated she still felt bad for letting them down. She felt a small smile appear on her face remembering how Natsu had walked up to her and gave her an amazing pep talk, it was those memories that kept her going

The following morning was her usual routine, she would feel the sun shine in through the window onto her face, she would get up and look to the side to see Happy still curled up into a ball dreaming about either fish or Carla. She yawned getting out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom closing the door and looked in the mirror, ever since they took the job she never smiled like she used to. She placed her hand on her face sighing at how she looked, alot of the time she had tear stains on her cheeks and started getting signs of crows feet. She assumed that it was because of the stress from the mission and also because she had been living with Happy so things were a bit messy more than often

She looked at the scarf around her neck and slowly removed it putting it in a safe place where it wouldn't get wet then undressed getting in her shower. She still smelled from the sweat covering her after the dream and washed herself off, she closed her eyes as she washed her hair and remembered all the times that Natsu had accidentally walked in on her as he claimed. She always hated that but now she would give anything to have that happen one more time. She felt tears about to escape her eyes but then shook her head wiping her eyes "N-no... No crying.. Its been almost a year, you have to stop crying..."

Lucy told herself that but couldn't help but fall on her eyes as her hands covered her face as tears started to fall down her cheeks. She knew no one could see her crying but she still felt like she had to hide her tears for some reason. She let the tears stream down her cheeks as she sobbed in the shower, even after nearly a year she couldn't hold back the tears. She always felt bad when she cried over this... She always remembered how Natsu hated to see her cry and would do anything to make her happy. She cried for a while until she got up, turned off the water and got out of the shower drying herself off.

She looked in the mirror happy to see that the shower had kept any tear stains from showing on her cheeks. She knew the entire guild was worried about her after the mission, even Laxus started to show some sympathy towards her, what had happened had affected the entire guild but everyone knew she was the one most affected by it

Once she had dried herself off she went back into her room but didn't find Happy anywhere. She figured he went to the guild and pulled out her outfit for the day and got dressed. She grabbed Natsu's scarf from the bathroom and looked at it for a bit before wrapping it around her neck, she knew Natsu would be ok with her wearing his scarf even though it was her fault that he couldn't wear it anymore. She knew Natsu would be angry at her with how much she blamed herself for what happened but she couldn't help it... It was her fault that Natsu was gone now.

She grabbed her spirit keys and whip and walked outside, she was actually happy that she had decided to wear Natsu's scarf because it had recently started snowing in Magnolia. She pulled the scarf up covering her mouth and cheeks from the cold remebering how Natsu had done a similar thing when him and her were hired to steal "daybreak". She smiled remembering how it was their first job together but the smile quickly faded away as she realized she would be able to have those adventures with him anymore

She kept walking looking down at her feet in the snow until she looked up to see the guild. She sighed not actually feeling up for a job, after the mission with Natsu she hadn't gone on a job for a while until her rent came due. Her landlady was kind enough to give her some time due to what had happened but even she has her limits, eventually she went to the guild with Happy and started looking at the request board but as she looked at the jobs she took one and looked back "Hey Natsu lets..."

Her eyes widened as she realized what she had just said, she noticed the entire guild looking at her as she stood there and quickly put the job back heading to the guild doors feeling tears starting to come out and kept her head down trying to keep anyone from seeing them. However,as she was walking she felt someone grab her arm and looked back to see Erza looking at her "Lucy... Its ok to cry..."

That was it, that was what broke her. In the middle of the guild she started sobbing loudly holding onto Erza as she felt the tears fall down her cheeks onto her shiny armor. She cried for almost an hour before she was clean out of tears.

Ever since that day she barely even walked near the request board in fear that she might have another breakdown. She had taken a few jobs with Erza, Gray, Happy and Juvia, the new team Erza even though they all knew it was team Natsu. They all just hated saying that now especially her, most of the guild had gotten over it a few months ago but were still sad. She realized she had been standing there for a while now and opened the doors walking inside to see some members of the guild in an all out brawl, even though Natsu wasnt around it was still Fairy Tail.

She maneuvered around the flying chairs and stools to the bar where she saw Mira looking at her "Morning Lucy, how are you feeling?". This was a question that Lucy got a lot lately, she knew everyone was worried about her considering how much her personality had changed over the course of a year but was still happy to see that she had friends that cared about her "Im fine Mira thank you for asking"

Lucy sighed looking at the guild fight it out in an all out brawl, she was glad to see everyone was happy but she missed watching Natsu fight it out with them. She never told anyone not even Levy but she always secretly rooted for him to win the brawl even though the second Erza got involved he was sure to lose. She looked down at the bar counter tucking her head back into the scarf feeling its warmth

She looked at one of the corner booths to see Gray and Juvia talking with his arm wrapped around her, shortly after the mission Juvia started getting worried about the possibility of the same happening to Gray so she confessed to him in front of everyone and said that she wanted an answer

Gray was a bit reluctant to start dating the water mage but after a couple dates he really enjoyed spending time with her, some of the girls at Fairy Hills even said they saw her sneaking back in really early one day. Lucy sighed looking down at the bar, she couldn't lie. She had often considered being in a relationship with Natsu... I mean nearly everyone said they would be a great couple. She was actually going to say yes to him that night when she thought he was gonna confess, but he just wanted to borrow Virgo to try and dig in the park

She was so embarrased but relieved at the same time, she was about to take a sip of her drink until her head shot straight up at the sound of the door to the guild getting blown off its hinges. She quickly got her keys ready prepared to fight until she sighed

It was just Gildarts coming back from one of his long missions, she knew he could be just as destructive as Natsu was or maybe even more

"Hey everyone im back!" Gildarts yelled as he stepped into the guild looking at everyone in mid brawl. He laughed looking at them as Makarove walked up to him "Welcome back Gildarts, I assume your mission went well"

Gildarts nodded looking to his backside then above him "Hey where's Natsu? He usually tries to fight me by now" Makarov groaned a bit and look at him "Gildarts..."

"What? He waiting for a sneak attack or soemthing? Hey Natsu! Come on out!" everyone quickly tried to get him to stay quiet as Makarov looked up at him "Gildarts please keep your voice down"

While they tried to get Gildarts to shut up across the guild at the bar Mira was looking at Lucy with her head down obviously trying to keep anyone from seeing her tears. Ever since the mission nobody said Natsu's name worried that Lucy might have another breakdown, she looked at her not knowing what to do "Lucy?..."

She saw Lucy start to shake slightly with small sobs coming from her then saw Gildarts walk up to her "hey you and Natsu are really close you know where he is?"

He got no response from the stellar mage and tried shaking her "Hey you alright? I asked where Natsu i..."

He was interrupted by a hand slapping his across the face leaving a red hand mark on his cheek and looked at Lucy with tears streaming down her face as she glared at him "Will you shut up!"

He watched as she got up out of her seat running past everyone crying then noticed everyone glaring at him "what? All I wanna know is where Natsu is"

Makarov walked up to him with his head down "Gildarts... Natsu passed away about a year ago"

Gildarts eyes widened as he heard the news and looked around at everyone with their heads down then looked at his short master "C-come on... Your kidding right?"

Makarov kept looking down shaking his head as Gildarts fell back onto the bar covering his eyes with his hand "Natsu... What happened to beating me? What happened to becoming an S-class wizard?"

Everyone watched as they saw tears start to fall down his cheeks. Gildarts... The strongest mage in Fairy Tail was crying. They knew there was nothing wrong with that, Natsu was like a son to Gildarts and a brother to the rest of them, they watched as he managed to wipe off the tears and looked at Makarov

"How? How did it happen?" Makarov sighed sitting up on the counter looking at him.

"It happened about a year ago..."