Sometimes I Wonder

by The Winged Pyro That Drowned

Even as I write this, the local priest is dancing on a cactus. The blacksmith is exploring a dark cave, and I can almost hear the Creeper's hiss. The Iron Golems aren't much better – dancing on fences, climbing over roofs – sometimes I wonder…

Sometimes I Wonder...

I happen to have a Minecraft account. But sadly, I do not own Minecraft. That would belong to Mojang. Guys, fix the flashing "sheet lightning/hud/entities" glitch. Please.

~Pyro

-.-.-.-

I have travelled a long way, and have explored many lands, but now I strive to document civilisation and the people within. I wonder, just what kind of personalities will I meet? What will these people deem illegal? How does their society work? What kind of buildings do they build?

I hope to answer all these questions and more, documented within these pages.

There seem to be some new monsters coming out at night, and if I am lucky, I may be able to survive long enough to document those, too.

-.-.-.-

Day One

I haven't found anyone yet, and this desert looks rather large. I'm absolutely positive I've seen that four meter tall cactus at least five times now…

-.-.-.-

Day Three

I was lucky to find this oasis, as yesterday I was forced to drink my writing ink in order to stay hydrated. It was disgusting, and I think I started hallucinating a bit. I saw weird green creatures that exploded after rushing up to me. I was sure all he wanted was a hug.

But then the same thing happened a few times, some of the creatures coming up behind me and hissing before bombing me. I think I shall call these depressed explosive green things… Creepers.

There was a Squid in the oasis, and I really didn't want it to spoil the water, so I carefully grabbed it and lay it out on the sand before drinking. When I had had my fill, I returned to the Squid, intending to put in back in the water, but it had died and left some ink sacks and some tentacles. I ate the tentacles, desperate for nutrition. The ink meant I could write again, thank goodness.

Today I shall endeavour to find a village where I can document people. Onwards!

-.-.-.-

Day Four

I was attacked by more Creepers during the night. A group of them ganged up on me at one point, and being as sick of them as I was, I punched one in the face. It exploded, killing all the other Creepers. This leads me to think that Creepers don't have much of a social life within their own species or outside. Strangely, the killed Creepers dropped piles of grey dust that flared up in my hand when I held it close to the fire so I could examine it. I have no idea what sort of properties this stuff may contain, but it seems to be the source of the Creepers suicide bombing capabilities.

Maybe I should have brought a bucket of water from that oasis with me.

-.-.-.-

Day Five

Zombies… gotta hate the buggers. They flippin' tried to eat me last night. I ain't gonna put up with that junk. One of them buggers bit me, and now my arm's going Creeper Green.

Dafuq is up wit' dat? Yoyoyo dey dead ya'knaw.

-.-.-.-

Day Six

It appears as though the Zombie venom affected my thoughts somewhat. I will endeavour to avoid those nasty monsters from now on. Well, continue to avoid them – Zombies have been around for as long as us miners. Still no sign of life, and I am still stuck in this stupid desert!

-.-.-.-

Day Seven

Spiders attacked me last night, along with an army of suicidal Creepers – although the Spiders weren't all that keen on life themselves… while running away from those creatures, I ran headlong into a Zombie, accidentally shoving into a cactus. It managed to impale itself thoroughly, despite me actually trying to help the creature, which looked different to the other Zombies. It had a large head. No brains in it though, but still a very large head.

Anyway, I was running through a small patch of cacti, and the Spiders kept trying to climb them in order to get a decent chance at me. Most of them died after the second cactus.

After escaping those accursed creatures, I bumped into a Creeper. In the hope of preventing an explosion, I gave it a hug.

It didn't explode.

But I think I may have stumbled upon a nest of them, for a larger Creeper and a cute bunch of smaller ones came out from behind a sand dune to see me hugging what I think may have been a mother Creeper.

The father Creeper came up to me, possibly also expecting a hug. So I gave it a hug, and it didn't explode. When the children came up to me, I had to give them hugs one at a time. Unfortunately there were a lot of them, possible eight in total, and the third one got impatient.

As it turns out, Baby Creepers can cause a chain reaction when close enough to a sibling. The adult Creepers then saw me as an enemy, and charged. I fled back to the cactus patch, where the rest of the Creepers that I had lost earlier were still waiting.

Since then, I have moved a many fair chunks away, and can still see the massive crater when standing atop a dune.

-.-.-.-

Day Eight

Finally, civilisation! I have come upon a small desert village that seems to reside right next to a taiga biome. Fortunately I found it before night fell, and got to spend the night in a comfy bed. I don't know whose bed it was, but the locals didn't seem to mind.

In the morning, I set out to find the village priest. I found him dancing on a fence outside the butcher's house.

"Uhh, excuse me, mister…" I tried to gain his attention. He didn't seem to be all that interested in me, but gave me a note that said, "Give me, the Testificate Priest, 10 Emeralds and I; the Testificate Priest, will give you an Eye of Ender"

I had no idea how to get these Emeralds, but I hadn't encountered any in my travels underground, so I supposed that they were extremely rare. The villagers, which after receiving notes from a few others, I found out they were named Testificates. They didn't speak, loved to dance, and only ever traded in Emeralds. Some were offering me Emeralds for certain items, like the Farmer that lives next door to me is willing to trade an Emerald for a set amount of wheat. I don't know why he doesn't go collect the wheat himself – there are patches of farms scattered throughout the village.

I went to harvest some wheat, re-planting with seeds that I found while cutting up the stalks of the light-brown plants. The local Librarian was offering me some bookshelves for three Emeralds, but required twelve books in order to give me one Emerald, which I found very unfair.

When I attempted to voice my displeasure, he just shrugged and started dancing on a nearby crafting bench, crushing some of its already flattened features.

Sigh, sometimes I wonder how they all get along like this. None of them take care of the farms, half of them dance on stuff, and I am yet to see any of them take their arms out of their sleeves. How they open and close doors so rapidly is a mystery to me.

I returned to the house that I was borrowing and decided to have a look around. There were a few paintings on the walls. An interesting yet very efficient setup of chests, furnace and crafting bench lay on the other side of the sandstone room. Investigating, I found that there was a one meter tall bench of sandstone along the bottom, with two large chests on each side of a furnace on top of it while the same arrangement was on the ground in front of it but with a crafting bench instead of the furnace.

I doubt that the * Testificates are capable of such craftsmanship, and there are lots of things in the chests that would likely belong to a fellow miner. Tools, weapons, and many different items ranging from an apple * to a Creeper head lay in the chest. There was a slight coating of dust, which suggests the owner is either dead or has been gone for a while.

I brushed some dust off a nicely cooked steak and a couple of cookies. I do * hope the owner doesn't mind, but I don't think I've had anything to eat since I was bitten by a Zombie. A few vials of water are in the chest, * and one of them has a very nice smell, like roses.

After my * steak and wine, which happened to be a potion made with distilled roses, I hopped into the bed and munched on a cookie as I write about my day. *

Oh dear, looks like some of the crumbs managed to get stuck in the pages! Argh, they won't come out. Sorry about that. *

-.-.-.-

Day Nine

Today I went out in search of the local Blacksmith, to see if he could make me a good pickaxe so that I wouldn't need to resort to stealing from a –possibly- dead miner. He handed me a note that said, "I will exchange 7 Emeralds for an Iron Pickaxe"

That's a lot of Emeralds, considering the librarian wants twelve books for one! Alas, I had no other way to get an iron pickaxe that was morally allowed, so I immorally borrowed one from the miner's collection. It was a half used one, so I hoped he or she wouldn't mind.

I had some planks with me, and my trusty diamond sword, so I would be able to make torches once I found coal, but I wasn't so sure about defending myself. The sword had a lot of nicks and scratches and rather large looking dents that riddled the blade. I would need to ask the Blacksmith if he could repair it, but he would doubtlessly charge me Emeralds, of which I had none.

So, taking my big bunch of wheat, I went to visit that farmer. After the deal was sealed, I handed over 63 packets of wheat and got 7 Emeralds in return. Now I had enough for a new pickaxe, but my blade would remain too close to being broken for comfort. Ages ago, I had enchanted it with sharpness, but that had worn off by now, I should think.

I visited the Blacksmith, who surprisingly didn't want Emeralds in order to repair my damaged sword. When I showed him the damage and asked if he could repair it, he quickly went inside his workshop, and made me a new note. I still don't understand how he does it without taking his arms out of those sleeves. Maybe those big heads have something in them after all.

Anyway, he gave me the note, which said, "I haven't seen a blade of this craftsmanship for many years. I may be able to repair it, but I am not completely sure. If you are willing to take the risk, then I am willing to do it free of charge. It has been an honour just to see this magnificent sword, crafted with the finest of care, the most delicate of touches, enchanted with powerful magic – it is a truly fantastic thing."

I agreed to take the risk, as it wouldn't last even if the repair failed. After viewing the Blacksmith work his magic, literally, I finally understood why their heads were so large, and why they never took their arms out of their sleeves.

The Testificates are Telekinetic!

They have enough brainpower that it is possible for them to move things using only their thoughts!

Which doesn't explain why I found the Priest dancing on a fence.

The repair went well, and I almost hugged the Blacksmith out of sheer joy, until I realised that something was wrong. He seemed extremely exhausted, barely managing to make another note for me.

"I have tried my best, but I couldn't save the magic. It was too far gone and too old to make any difference anyway. I am terribly sorry." It said.

"Don't worry, mine friend, it is still a great sword. I fear I might have been unable to defend myself had you been able to save only the magic but not the actual sword," I tried to console him. The Blacksmith took it well, offering me the pickaxe, saying I could have it on the conditions that I bring him back some coal for his furnace. I thanked him and went on my way.

Visiting the Blacksmith had taken a lot longer than I had thought, and it was almost night-time before I got back to the miners home. I put away the miner's pickaxe, glad that I didn't have to steal it. One of these days I shall have to find my own food and make my own bed. Until then, I would have to continue using this house, as bad as I felt about using something that wasn't mine. Before I climbed into bed, I checked out the large painting of a skull on fire that was about three meters tall and wide. It took up a large section of the wall that didn't seem to line up when a looked in from outside.

On a hunch, I moved it aside and found something astonishing. There was a large chest in the far corner, near the other chests which lay across the room opposite the bed, and a brewing stand closer to the bed. The gap behind the painting was small, three meters wide, one deep, and two tall. Just enough room for a chest and brewing stand. Looking in the chest, I found more wine, lots of roses, and a lot of vials of water. There were a few other things in there, like Creeper powder, sugar, lapis lazuli, and more, some of which I had no name for. I dragged out a rose and three of the vials, and set them up on the stand. I left them to ferment overnight and put the painting back in its spot.

Goodnight, Minecraft, it's been a pretty big day.

-.-.-.-

Day Ten

Today I plan to head underground, but there are still a few things I need to get done. First I had to find an entrance to a mine of some sort, possibly caves, and I needed a clock so I would know when to come back up. News of a new miner spread quickly through the village, which was expanding quickly because some green robed Builders had shown up.

I was almost expecting it to turn into a town by the time I was back.

I bought a chest from one of the Builders for two Emeralds. This should be enough for me to store my spare stuff until I get back. I placed it next to the painting at home before returning to the town square.

The Librarian lent me a clock as long as I brought him back some redstone for study. The Blacksmith gave me a bucket of water because he didn't want lava to kill me. His note said that he wouldn't charge me for it as long as I brought back the bucket.

I got a bunch of porkchops from the butcher, who remarked that it could be tiring work down in the mines, and it could be – I was caught without food in a large ravine once, and it was a nightmare. The only thing available for me to eat was the rotting flesh of the Zombies that roamed in the darkness. It was disgusting, and left me vomiting for a week once I had made it back home. But that was a long time ago.

A Builder gave me some more planks, which could come in handy.

A couple of Farmers gave me some torches, which I thanked them greatly for. The Priest gave me some enchanted chain mail boots, telling me that they were to stop me from breaking my legs if I fell. Very useful, and they went with my chain mail vest.

The Priest also gave me directions to a nearby cave system that hadn't been used yet. After a quick goodbye, I set off across the snowy tundra, putting up a few torches so I could find my way home. Soon, I found the place the Priest had directed me to.

It was a huge series of caves, many crisscrossing into each other and back out again. The caves were rich with ores, metals, and monsters, but thankfully not the dreaded hissing Creepers. I have discovered that the poor things don't like the underground – the pressure of the depths seems to have a strange effect on their attitude and explosiveness. The cave system was very large, and I had a bit of trouble finding my way out again. But while I was in there, I encountered Zombies, Spiders, and Skeletons with bows and arrows.

My recently restored blade cut through them all.

Those nasty Skeletons were smart enough to use gaps I couldn't cross as a sniper point. I could build to get across to them, but I wasn't worth it, so I broke apart some cobblestone so I could chuck some smaller pieces of rock at them. They got the message and went to look for a target that wouldn't fight back.

I was fortunate in this particular venture, as I found some coal for the Blacksmith, and some iron for myself. I swung my pick back and forth, bashing my way through walls of stone and dirt and ore. Eventually, I came across some cobblestone. As far as I know, and I know quite a lot, cobblestone would only ever be found in dungeons or where flowing water meets flowing lava. Monsters weren't known to place it, but miners were.

My stomach growled, and I checked the clock while I ate a porkchop. Judging by the size of the moon, I've been underground for maybe twelve hours – less than a day, so far.

My curiosity got the better of me and I broke down the cobblestone, breaking my way into a dungeon that was filled with nasty Skeletons.

I took an arrow to the knee almost immediately, but I'm not the kind of person to take one hit and give up. Instead, I charged and ferociously hacked and slashed at their rattling bodies, destroying enough of their substance to keep whatever dark magic help them together from coming back. There were lots of bones, arrows, and a couple of bows lying on the floor, left behind by the monsters.

Just as I thought I was done, another pile of bones floated into a recognisable form and picked up a bow. It didn't have any arrows, and it knew that it wouldn't have a chance at a second shot, so it fired its ARM at me! The bone hit me right in the forehead and I saw three different Skeletons in my way. I smashed them all down and destroyed the strange glowing stone in the centre of the room.

I could hear a bunch of ghostly wails and cries of relief waft past me and I crushed the last of the stone to dust. One spirit seemed bigger and more solid than the rest. It spoke to me, "Thank you, mine friend, for saving us from the Dark Horrors – evil demons that take it upon themselves to release the monsters upon this fragile land. They use our souls to feed these strange stones that weep the essence required for the monsters to take shape. I am extremely sorry for any harm that came to you during your time in these caves – the smarter the soul, the greater the intelligence of the creatures spawned by the Dark Horror's Stones." The Spirit said. It didn't seem to have a solid form, shifting in and out of sight; I could see the other wall behind it the whole time. I couldn't determine what sex it was either; the voice was just a silky whisper in my head.

"It's fine. I am just thankful that I was able to free you guys," I said. The spirit nodded and drifted closer, sniffing.

"You, you smell of wine… you have been to my village! Please tell me, are the Testificates still coping without me?" it asked. Another mystery for me; how do spirits have a sense of smell? I didn't think now was a good time to ask though.

"They seem to be doing well, but this is the first time I have encountered civilisation with the want to interact, so I can't say if they are doing as well as they could be. Sorry, I was a bit of a loner. Mining was my obsession for years…" I apologised.

"It was still my occupation when I died, so I understand how it feels," the bright spirit said. The other spirits had all gone their separate ways, looking for peace. "I only died a couple of days ago, in an icy cave only a few chunks from here," it told me. "I hope you don't mind, but would you allow me to follow you? If we are close enough to my body, I should be able to guide you to it, and I think it will have been preserved by the ice."

"I don't really have anything else to do other than mine, so I guess I might as well help. If a miner can't help a fellow miner, what good is he to a whole village?" I said, smiling. It was true; I didn't really have anything else to do yet other than find some redstone. "Just let me grab some of this moss stone and we'll be on our way."

"A good choice. Moss stone always looks good as a path and you can grow some pretty nice mushrooms with it." The spirit said as I mined. "Did you figure out what my recipe for the wine was?"

"Well," I said, finding some iron, "it smelled a lot like roses, and I found your brewing stand," I winked, "so I set it up to distil a rose into three vials of water. I doubt that's all there is to it, but I'm on the right track, yes?"

"Indeed. It takes three stages. The first is the rose, then a touch of lapis lazuli, and finally, a little bit of gunpowder for the fizz and the explosive flavour," the spirit said, and I thought it over in my head, using my logical mind to determine the outcome.

"Gunpowder… that grey dust the Creepers leave behind?" I asked.

"Exactly." The spirit nodded. Considering I had already tasted the wine, I knew what the outcome would be. Now that I knew the ingredients and method, it actually seemed quite simple.

"Are there any other drinks you can make with the brewing stand?" I asked, checking what was in the chest. I found a saddle, a bucket, some iron ingots, and another iron pickaxe.

"I can make a pretty good beer with distilled wheat and gunpowder, and in that order." The spirit thought, looking up at the roof. It had finally pulled enough of its memories together that it was able to give itself a form. It looked like a bald man with a black beard and sideburns, wearing simple brown clothing. I hadn't asked him what his name was yet, but there was no reason to – we were the only two beings that would actually talk without the use of notes.

"Sounds good." I said, having grabbed all the moss stone and ore in the room. I picked up the chest and compacted it so it would fit in my backpack. I found a few small iron deposits further into the cave, which I promptly bashed.

I still needed to find some redstone for the Librarian, and that was a fair bit deeper. Placing torches as I went, I killed more Spiders, Zombies, and Skeletons. Thankfully there hasn't been any Cave Spiders yet; they have a nasty venomous bite that can leave a miner itching for weeks. The spirit man was silent, trying to avoid attracting any undead, for which I was thankful.

We went deeper, and I tried to go where it felt colder, in an effort to retrieve mine friends body. I kept as close to the dungeon as I could while still exploring for redstone. The spirit man was invisible to the undead, Spiders, and Creepers, which meant he was able to look around corners for me. If he gave me thumbs up, it was clear. If he held up any other fingers, then there was something waiting for me. We'd made a system for it.

If he was holding up one finger on his right hand, then it was Creepers. If it was two; then Zombies, although I usually heard them a long way off first. If it was three, there were Skeletons. Four, Spiders. He would hold up his hand and flick his wrist, if he was holding up more fingers; then there was more than one type of monster waiting for me. The fingers he held up on his left hand would tell me how many monsters there were of whatever type his right hand was indicating. It was a very useful system, which I was hoping we wouldn't need to use for too long; I was hoping to find his body before we began to rely on the system to heavily. We found a few creepers. Meaning we must have been close to the surface.

I was mining out a new vein of lapis lazuli when the spirit man suddenly stopped. "My body," he whispered, "it is nearby…" he pointed towards a fork in the caves. "To the left," he said.

I looked to where he was pointing. There was a bat hanging on the roof, breathing little clouds of steam. I placed a torch at my feet, so I could see a bit better. "Looks like the icy room you described." I said, grabbing the last chunk of lapis lazuli. "So how did you die?" I asked, and immediately wished I hadn't. How could I be so insensitive? "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that-"

"It's ok, I thought you were going to ask something more along the lines of 'what's it like to die?' anyway. I would say I never saw my death coming, but that would only be a part truth. I did see it coming. I looked it in the eyes and it disappeared. Next thing I knew, I was laying on my back watching an Enderman suck the life out of me. My body was never damaged, but it felt like I was on fire or something – it hurt. Lots." He said to me.

"What do Endermen look like?" I asked, curious.

"Basically, like really tall spindly black Skeletons, but with flesh and glowing purple eyes. They don't like it when you look at their face, and will ignore you as long as you ignore them." The spirit advised. "They can also pick up chunks of stuff and steal them, move them, place them. A bit like we do, but they only seem to do it one bit at a time."

"Marvellous creatures. And they can disappear?"

"They teleport, more or less. Hey, there's my body!" he pointed to a frozen over corpse lying in the ice. It looked almost like the spirit, but older. But I guessed it was from the lack of life.

"So, uh, now what do we do with it?" I asked. I really wasn't much of a fanatic when it came to resurrection, because most of my encounters with that sort of stuff usually tried to eat me.

"I have no idea." The spirit said.

Looking up, I saw sky. It was dark, and the moon was near gone. "Perhaps if we brought you back to the Priest in the village?" I suggested.

"I sincerely doubt he'd be able to help, considering I remember him best by how he danced on the fence, but he has some power in this area." The spirit conceded. "If you could just carefully chip away that ice, I'll go up there and see if I can find out where we are," he said.

"Alright. I might as well set up camp for the night." I agreed, putting a torch on the rocky wall above his corpse. I took out the planks, and smacked them together into a workable crafting bench, placing it in a smaller cave that was more of an overhanging section of cliff shading a TNT crater. After that I made a chest and placed it next to the crafting bench, forming a larger one with the dungeon's chest. I made a furnace and put in on the other side of the chest, making it into a four meter long workstation. I placed some more torches to keep the monsters at bay while I set to work sorting out what I had gotten in this adventure.

Meanwhile, the spirit was flying through the trees, looking for anything that it might recognise. It found a fair few things in its travels.

I made more torches, and placed them around the corpse. The shallow ice-pond was starting to melt, despite the temperatures still being very cold. I watched as the icebound corpse melted, exposing flesh to the air for the first time in days. The spirit came back very quickly.

"The village is just a few chunks away!" he yelled excitedly, noticing that his body was free. "Oh, I wish I could just return to life like that," he said, clicking his ghostly fingers while stroking the body's beard. "Whoa!" the spirit yelled as it got sucked into the corpse.

"Mine friend!" I yelled, rushing over. Funnily enough, he had snapped his fingers, touched his body, and wished that he could return to life like that all at the same time. "Are you okay?" I asked, cradling his head in my hands. His eyes fluttered open and he took a huge breath, starting to cough. Once the coughing fit had ended, he looked up at me.

"Mine friend," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder, a tear in his eye, "I've never felt more alive,"