A/N - Just an FYI. I am currently working on re-writes to this story. Chapter one has been edited and expanded from it's original publication.

In My Image

Chapter 1

The Iceberg Lounge was very quiet at five PM on a Monday, which made it absolutely perfect for Joker to get his family out of the house for a while. Penguin would not have allowed them to bring a toddler into his nightclub once the general public began to arrive, but he seemed content with their current arrangement. Oswald had even gone so far as to order a couple of highchairs so that the few rogues who did have children could come to the Iceberg early in the evenings with their families and enjoy a nice meal or, as Penguin looked at it, continue spending money in his establishment. Joining the Joker family were Ivy and Harvey who had been casually dating for almost two years now.

Harley was making her way through a plate of super-hot wings and a cup of spicy chili. She was already into her 40th week of pregnancy and she was desperate to get this kid out of her as soon as possible. Jackie was in his high chair happily munching on small pieces of chicken fingers and French fries as Joker and Harvey walked over to the bar to smoke a cigar and talk without the women overhearing. Harvey ordered a brandy then turned to give Joker a once over.

"You look stressed J. What's up?" J took a sip of his whiskey.

"It's this pregnancy Harv. We both thought Harley's pregnancy with Jackie was bad, but compared to this one, Jackie was a cake walk. Not to mention, Jackie was two months pre-mature thanks to Batsy's meddling. This time around, unless she goes into labor in the next couple of days, she'll be post term."

"Sorry to hear that J. I heard Harley had been pretty sick for a while. Things never got any better?"

"Well the morning sickness finally passed after four long miserable months, but the heartburn never went away. We had maybe a month of peace before the baby started moving and kicking and that started the next phase of misery. I don't know what that kid is doing in there, but it's like she's practicing for the Olympics or something." He glanced over at his friend. "Did I tell you that four weeks ago she kicked Harley so hard she broke two of her ribs?" Harvey looked up in alarm.

"What? No! I didn't even know that was possible!" He declared eyes widening in surprise. "Wow, poor Harley, that's gotta be rough." J puffed on his cigar and tapped it into the ashtray on the bar.

"You have no idea Harv. Kincade put her on bed rest for four weeks, so who do you think got stuck taking care of Jackie and doing the housework?" J poked his thumb into the center of his chest three times for emphasis as he rolled his eyes. "Don't get me wrong Harv, Jackie is a great kid. He's generally a pretty happy little guy. Maybe we don't have as much in common as I would like, but I'm hoping that'll change as he gets older." He shrugged. "But I'll be honest, not that I'll ever tell her so, but I don't know how Harley does it all on her own day in and day out. I never realized how much work was really involved. How fast the dirty dishes and laundry pile up and how quickly the house becomes a damn disaster area! And Jackie needs soooo much attention. As soon as I think I'll get some time to watch TV or just sit down for five minutes he needs something, or wants to play, or gets hurt, or gets into something he shouldn't. Then there's feeding, bathing, nap times, and changing diapers." He ticked each item off on his fingers as he spoke. "Thank God we're almost through with potty training though. That kid was a veritable poop factory for the first two and a half years of his life!" Joker shook his head as he lifted his glass to take another sip. "I tell ya Harv, either I'm slowing down in my old age or I'm just not cut out to be a primary caretaker." Harvey responded in his deep baritone voice.

"That's the one benefit of only having weekend visitations with Duella. I just have to worry about it for a couple of days then my life goes back to normal for two weeks." Harvey swirled his brandy around the snifter before taking a sip. "That's a tough break buddy."

"That ain't the half of it Harv. With Harley this late into her pregnancy she's been making me have sex with her like five times a day!" He threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "Supposedly taking the hot dog bus to taco town helps induce labor, or so she says." He nodded towards Harley with an annoyed expression across his face. "That's also why she's over there right now scarfing down hot wings. She says spicy food's supposed to help bring on labor too." Harvey had a crooked smirk on his face.

"No offense J, but sex five times a day doesn't strike me as being much of a chore. I wish Ivy asked me to have sex with her at least five times a month. For such a hot broad, she's pretty damn cold." J sniggered into his fist.

"Pammy has always seemed a bit frigid, Harv. I give you credit for sticking with her. I've seen what that woman can do to a man with a kiss. I hate to image what she's capable of doing with her other lips." He shuddered. "You're a pretty brave guy."

Harvey almost choked on the sip of liquor he had just taken. He banged on his chest trying to dispel the burning liquid from his lungs which caused Joker to break out into peals of amused laughter.

"Jesus man, are you trying to kill me? Don't let Pam hear you say that, she already hates you enough, J." He waved at Two-Face dismissively.

"Oh don't worry, as long as I'm married to Harley, she'll tolerate me. Anyway, sleeping with my wife hasn't been the worst thing I've had to do during this pregnancy. Considering Harley was so sick we barely slept together for the first four months I suppose I shouldn't be complaining about it."

"Ya think?"

Joker chuckled and looked over at the table. Harley was heading to the ladies room for the third time since they arrived and Ivy was tickling and cooing at Jackie as he giggled and smiled at her.

"Ya know Harv, for as much as Pammy hates me, I gotta say she sure loves that kid. I never took her for the nurturing type."

"Heh. She's nurturing all right, just not to human beings. I lov-." He paused momentarily and corrected himself as Joker raised an eyebrow at him. "Um, I mean I really like Pam, but listening to her coo baby talk at her plants drives me up the wall sometimes." He gazed across the room to watch Ivy as she nibbled playfully on Jack's fingers. "Pam doesn't really care for Duella too much. I suppose I can't really blame her. Even I have to admit Duella is a little too moody, pouty and temperamental for a four year old. Ya know J, I tend to think that Pam's love of your son stems from her love of your wife." Harvey nodded towards Harley as she emerged from the ladies room. "Except for his eyes, Jackie really is the spitting image of Harley." Joker stamped out his cigar.

"He doesn't just look like her, Harv. He is his mother's son in almost every way." A half-smile climbed up one side of his face as he barked a short laugh. "You should see him at Gymboree. He climbs like a little monkey and tumbles like he's a professional acrobat already. It's pretty impressive really."

Harvey could hear the pride in Joker's voice and couldn't help but smile. Then he shot J a confused and curious look.

"How the hell do you get away with showing up at Gymboree?" J chuckled lightly.

"How do you think? I dress up like a clown and entertain the kiddies. I even taught myself how to make balloon animals. Harley just tells the other parents that I work at Haley's Circus. Pretty good gag, right Harv?"

Harvey chuckled at the thought of the Clown Prince of Crime entertaining a room full of toddlers.

"I may just have to put Duella in his class so I can see it with my own two eyes." Joker glanced at his watch.

"We better get back to the women. I promised Harley I'd help her walk the grand staircase a few times before we leave tonight." Harvey looked confused.

"Why does she want to do that?" J rolled his eyes.

"Exercise. Yet another thing that's supposed to make her go into labor. Let's just pray it works. I don't think I have the energy for another round of hide the salami tonight."

J and Harvey stood and headed towards their table. When they got back Harley was cleaning Jackie's hands and face with a wet-wipe while Ivy helped put his toys back into the Coach diaper bag she and Selina had given Harley at Jackie's baby shower. Jackie looked up at Joker and held up his arms.

"Daddy! Up pwease."

"Okay kiddo, up you go." J said as he lifted his son into his arms. "How was your din-din Jackie?"

"Nummy daddy! I wuv fwench fwies."

Harley smiled as she watched her husband and son interacting. Jackie was getting bigger every day, his vocabulary was expanding and he was so curious about things. He was just beginning to ask questions about how the world worked. She beamed at her two favorite guys.

"Daddy, would you mind taking Jackie to the potty while I start walking the stairs?"

"Sure Pumpkin." He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "We'll be right back. Come on kiddo, let's go potty."

"Okay daddy. Can we go see the penwins?"

"Sure buddy, I don't see why not. But after we're done in the potty, okay?" Jack bounced in excitement in his father's arms.

"Penwins yaayyy!"

Ivy watched Jack and Joker in delight. She may not have much love for Joker, but he was actually not a bad father when he was actively engaged with his family. She walked over to Harley in case she needed help getting up and down the steep staircase to the ground floor of the Iceberg. Harley's belly was gigantic. If Ivy didn't know better she would have guessed she was carrying twins or even triplets. With her small frame and her ribs still not fully healed she was having some difficulty getting around lately.

"You ready Harley?"

"Sure Red. Hopefully this has some kind of effect. I need this kid out of me, now." She winced and put a hand on her side near her kidney. "Ow! Stop kicking mommy and come out of there already!" She said to her belly with an annoyed tone to her voice.

Ivy looked at her friend with concern. She had been having a horrible time of this pregnancy. Ivy felt helpless, she had already given Harley evening primrose oil and red raspberry leaf tea, the only things she could really think of to help induce her pregnancy. They descended the steps.

"So what did Dr. Kincade and your midwife have to say?" Harley was walking with one hand supporting her back, the other on the railing.

"That if I haven't gone into labor in two weeks they're going to induce me, but I don't think I can't wait that long. I've never felt more horrible in my entire life." She shook her head. "This is it. After this one I'm done. No more kids."

"Are you having your tubes tied?"

"Well, I'm trying to talk Mistah J into getting a vasectomy, but so far he's just not having it, so I may have no choice." Ivy giggled at the thought of J getting neutered like a common mongrel.

"I noticed Jackie is still having some problems pronouncing his L's and R's. Are you worried about that at all?"

"Nah, I had a lisp until I was in the second grade. He'll grow out of it. If not, we'll have to get a speech therapist, but it's way too early for that yet. Anyway, I think it's kind of cute."

"Are you kidding me? It's positively adorable! I never thought in a million years that a child could make me smile so much." Pam's eyes were suddenly downcast and a small frown invaded her beautiful facial features. "It kind of makes me sad that I can't bear any of my own."

"Awww, Red. There's always adoption." Ivy raised an eyebrow at her friend as they turned to go back up the staircase.

"Sure Harls, I'll just pop on down to child protective services and fill out an application. I'm sure they won't have any problem at all with the fact that I'm an escaped Arkham inmate with a criminal record a mile long." She replied sarcastically.

"Oh, yeah, I kinda forgot about that. Sorry, Red. My head hasn't been screwed on straight these past few weeks."

"That's okay Harls. Anyway I have been tinkering with a new project that's beginning to bear fruit, so to speak." Harley's eyebrows shot up.

"Yeah? Whatcha working on?"

"I'm attempting to splice plant DNA with human DNA. It's been tricky but I'm at least making some small amount of progress, although I suspect it'll take years of further research to even get close to my goals." She flicked her head flipping her red locks over her shoulder. "It keeps me occupied at least. In the meantime, I get to live vicariously through your children." Harley grinned at Ivy.

"Jackie adores you Red. He talks about you all the time, always asking when you're coming over to play with him. He loves watching you make things grow. It simply fascinates him."

"He is just too damn cute, Harls. If you and J need a break after the baby is born, you know I have no problem keeping Jackie for a few days, so please don't hesitate to ask me." Harley smiled and gave Pam a nod. Pam had been a Godsend after Jackie was born. It was tough not having any help from Jackie's grandparents, primarily due to the fact that there was absolutely zero family on Joker's side as far as either of them knew and on her own, one grandparent was in jail and the other refused to speak to her anymore. Ivy had stepped into the role in their stead. As far as Jackie knew Pam was his Aunt and Harley was grateful to have Ivy in her life. Every kid needs a family, even if it was a ragtag group of Gotham's rogues. "So Harl, do you have everything ready to go for the delivery?" They reached the bottom of the stairs, turned and headed back up.

"You better believe it. My bag is packed and waiting by the front door. Oh, I don't know if I told you, but Mistah J bought a building about two blocks from the penthouse when we found out I was pregnant and had it equipped for the delivery. After what we went through last time, he's not taking any chances. He has a handful of nurses on staff that have been rotating shifts 24 hours a day for the past few weeks. That way if we get there before Kincade and Claire, there's trained medical staff on hand to help until they make it there." Harley stopped on a stair, grimaced and placed a hand under her swollen belly. "Crap Red, I gotta get to the bathroom. She's kicking me in the bladder again."

Ivy placed a comforting arm around her friend and helped her quickly up the stairs hoping to get her there before she peed herself again.

Joker, Harvey and Jack were standing at the railing surrounding the main stage where the Penguin's penguins and seals were kept. Jackie was squealing in joy and clapping his hands as he watched the animals waddling around. Joker checked his watch.

"Well Harv, it's getting kind of late, the regular crowd should start arriving soon. Guess we better get a move on before Oswald has a fit." He leaned down and picked up his son. "Time to go buddy. Let's go find mommy, okay?"

"Okay daddy. Bye-bye penwins." Jackie said as he waved to the birds.

Harley and Ivy were coming out of the bathroom and Joker noticed immediately that Harley had changed her pants. He shook his head and chuckled.

"Awww, what happened Poohbear? Pee yourself again?" Harley looked decidedly irritated.

"I swear, it's like this kid purposely kicks me in the bladder when she knows there's no way I can make it to the ladies room in time. I've had just about enough of it."

Her tone indicated she had gone beyond irritated and into the realm of genuine anger. It worried him. She was so excited about having Jackie and she was over the moon when she found out she was pregnant again, but over the past four or five months she had been getting resentful. He couldn't say he blamed her necessarily. It had been a very difficult pregnancy for her, but it seemed she held no joy or excitement about bringing their daughter into the world at this point. He had been confident that once the baby finally came she'd get over it, but lately he was starting to have some doubts. She still hadn't decided on a name for the child, and he was beginning to suspect it was because she didn't really care. Due to how much she had been suffering, she seemed to have developed a detachment from the baby. He was trying to be optimistic, however. Things would fall into place in time. They always did, right?

"What's wong mama?" She smiled at her son and tried to hide her animosity.

"Mommy's just tired Jackie." Joker placed his hand on the small of Harley's back.

"Come on, Pumpkin. Let's get you home."

Their current home was a penthouse apartment on the Upper West Side. They took the private elevator to their floor in silence. Jackie was dozing in his stroller and Harley was holding her side, a look of discomfort on her face. Beside him a bald, hulking beast of a man in a black suit stood with his hands clasped loosely in front of him. He made no sound but diligently surveyed the small confines of the elevator as the car rose to the top floor. Joker had chosen to employ a veritable army of comprehensively trained bodyguards to protect his family. These highly skilled men were armed at all times and each wore a com link in one ear so they could quickly communicate should anything dangerous go down. He still employed a handful of the garden variety henchmen but they were mostly used for grunt work and shakedowns since Joker's retirement from the super-villain game. He made a conscious decision to never leave the safety of his family to that lot. After his last tangle with Batman the night Jackie was born and Harley almost died, he wasn't leaving anything to chance. As they exited the elevator they were greeted by the sight of two more trained men standing guard in the hallway in front of their door. Since Jackie was born he hadn't seen hide nor hair of Batman or any of his brood, but he still felt better having the extra security. Fatherhood had made him ridiculously overprotective of both his wife and child. In addition to that, he still walked with a slight limp due to the gunshot to his thigh that nearly killed him. It ached most of the time and could be agonizing whenever it rained. If the new Batman ever did show up, he was no longer confident he'd come out of it the winner.

Harley took Jackie out of his stroller and started their evening routine while Joker went to walk and feed the hyenas. She bathed him as he cheerfully played with his rubber ducky and toy boats. Even though she was irritable and physically feeling awful she couldn't help but smile as she washed and played with her son. He was such a delight, the true light of her life. They had bonded immediately when he was born and he had been such a good baby. He rarely cried and laughed often. As he grew she found something new about him every day that made her smile, laugh or feel an incredible sense of pride. He was smart as a whip, but also fun and goofy. And he was so kind. He wasn't even three yet and he already showed how large his heart was. He always shared with other children and he was very in tune with other people's emotions. If she were feeling down or sick he always found a way to make her feel better, even if it were just him climbing into her lap to cuddle quietly with her. He loved animals and had bonded with Bud and Lou as soon as J brought them back into their household. Bud and Lou had subsequently become very protective of him. In fact, they both slept beside his bed at night, their hackles raising at any unusual sound or any sign of danger.

"Mama?"

"Yes Jackie."

"When is sissy coming?"

She realized then that she had been putting off naming the baby, thus Jackie referring to her as 'sissy'. She resolved to talk to J about it once Jackie was asleep.

"Your baby sister will be here very, very soon." He smiled, his green eyes bright and full of wonder.

"I want to howd her and pway wif her. I yill wet her plway wif my twucks and Mistaw Peanuts too."

Jackie's favorite stuffed animal was a pink elephant he named Mr. Peanuts. Pam had given it to him when he was just an infant. It was his prized possession and he never slept without it. Her heart melted to hear him say he wanted to share him with his unborn sister.

"I'm sure she'll like that very much. But she'll be very small when she's born, so it will be a little while before she's big enough to play with you honey."

"I know. Can we wead her books, mama?"

"Of course we can sweetie. I think she'd enjoy that very much." He smiled broadly. He was just so excited to be a big brother. "What story should we read for bedtime tonight Jackie?"

"Ten wittle wady bugs!" She grinned at her beautiful baby boy.

"Okay kiddo. Let's get you dried off and we'll read Ten Little Lady Bugs together, okay?"

She dried him, put a pull up diaper and his favorite Elmo pajamas on him and tucked him into his bed. Bud and Lou, back from their walk with J, wandered in and took their usual positions next the bed. Harley scratched them both behind the ears and praised them for watching over her son. They had only gotten Jackie a big boy bed a few weeks ago, but he seemed to be taking to it really well. Plus, he loved waking up to find one or both of the hyenas curled up beside him on the mattress in the mornings. She sat in the chair beside the bed and she and Jackie read their book together. After the first reading he asked her to read it again, which she happily did and by halfway through he was sound asleep. She tiptoed out of his room, turning on the baby monitor on her way out. The monitor was fairly high tech. It had both sound and video and could be accessed from not only the corresponding handheld monitor but also from any computer or mobile device if she was nervous or just wanted to watch her little angel sleeping.

She headed into the living room where Joker was watching the news with his feet propped up on the coffee table. She sat down heavily on the couch and rubbed her heavy belly.

"How ya doing Poo? Has she stopped kicking you?"

"For now, yeah, but you know how it goes, she'll have me up and out of bed at least three times tonight." She covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a small belch. "God, I shouldn't have had those wings. I have heartburn now. Can you pass me the antacid please?"

J leaned over and plucked the bottle of Tums from the end table and passed it to her. He couldn't resist a small chuckle.

"I told you so, Poohbear. How is Jackie?"

"Sound asleep. He's really excited about becoming a big brother. He asked me when his sissy will be here." She looked down at the bottle avoiding his gaze. "Which reminded me that we haven't picked a name yet." She poured some tablets into her palm.

"Well Pumpkin, you haven't seemed up to discussing it and I didn't want to push you. I know how lousy you've been feeling lately." Cringing, she chewed a handful of the chalky antacids. Harley sighed heavily.

"Well for Jackie's sake we need to take care of it tonight. I'd like him to have a real name to call her other than just sissy."

"So what were your thoughts?" She shrugged.

"I don't know. I've tried to not think about it because for months I've had this terrible feeling that there was something wrong and I was afraid I might lose the baby." Joker snapped his head towards her his eyes wide, a shocked expression on his face.

"You never told me that before. Why would you even think that Poo?" She shook her head and focused her gaze on a piece of lint on the carpet.

"It's everything. How sick I was, her beating me up from the inside….but mostly it's the dreams, I guess."

"But Pumpkin, we talked to both Kincade and Claire about this. Having vivid, realistic and sometimes terrifying dreams is very common for pregnant women." He laid his open palm against her cheek and caressed it with his thumb. "Harley, the baby is healthy, you'll be giving birth any day now and then you'll see how silly all this ridiculous worrying is. Everything is going to be fine." She leaned into his caress before he removed his hand from her face.

"I really hope you're right Puddin. Let's just pray I go into labor soon. I'm sure I'll feel much better once I'm the only person occupying my body again." She looked down and gently poked her stomach. "You hear that kid? You're getting evicted very soon so stop being stubborn and come on out, okay?" The baby responded by kicking her in the back. "Ouch! Was that really necessary?"

"So Poo, back to names. Did you have any thoughts at all?"

"No Puddin, I don't. What about you?"

"I thought it might be cute if they both had names that began with J." She cracked a half smile.

"Like their daddy?"

"Come on kiddo, you know better than anyone that I'm vain."

They spent the next twenty minutes looking up girl baby names that started with J on the internet, tossing ideas back and forth until they were able to finally make a decision.

"Johanna. I like it. We can call her Jojo for short. What do you think, Poo?"

"I think the baby finally has a name. I'll tell Jackie in the morning. Now can we please go to bed? I'm exhausted Puddin."

"Sure Pumpkin." He stood and held out his hands to help her off the couch. "Let's get some shuteye and maybe by the morning little Jojo will decide to check out of the Harley Hotel."

"God let's hope so, before she breaks another one of my ribs."

Harley was so tired she didn't even ask Joker to make love to her. She kissed her husband, rolled over and passed out almost immediately. Joker curled up behind her, wrapping his arm around her and resting it on her belly. He felt terrible for her, he couldn't image what it must feel like to have a small person living inside of you, especially when said little person was brutalizing your body from the inside. He made a silent wish that sometime soon Harley would go into labor. He was sure she would feel much, much better once the baby was finally out of her. He squeezed her gently, kissed her cheek and eventually drifted off wondering what their daughter would look like once she finally decided to join the world.