I stare blankly about in my cell. White walls surround me. I reach out a finger and push. They're padded. Above me, white lights shine. I immediately shade my eyes. I reach down and feel the white carpet beneath me. It's soft and plushy. My room has no windows, no furniture. Just me in the white padded cell.

So much has happened to me in the past few weeks. I wipe my eyes and lean back on the wall. It makes a good cushion. Happy times, sad times, I experienced more in those few weeks, than most people did in lifetime. Pain, misery, torture, all of it. Maybe I should start at the beginning.

Mostly everyone knows that in my seventh year at Hogwarts, Voldemort captured our school. They know that a few days later, the indestructible Hogwarts burned to the ground. But they don't know what we experienced in those few days. It was hell. Burning, living hell.

Harry, Ron and I were at Hogsmeade together when it happened. It was the last Hogsmeade trip before Grad so we wanted to make the best of it. Harry and I were thirsty so we went over to the Three Broomsticks to get a butterbeer. Ron didn't want to come in for some reason, he told us he would take a walk and meet us at the door later.

Later we learned that Ron had come across Voldemort in his walk and put under the Imperious curse. He was forced, against his will to tell Voldemort the location of Hogwarts. But we didn't know that at the time.

When we came out of the Three Broomsticks, happy and full of sugar, we ran into Ron, who had a desperately serious expression on his face. We stopped laughing immediately when we saw him. Just the sight of him made me scared, like a crazed man about to do something desparate.

"Ron?" I asked, tentively. "What's wrong?"

He looked straight at me, then at Harry, took a big swallow and opened his mouth. "Guys?" he said, "don't kill me for this, but I told You Know Who where Hogwarts is."

Harry's mouth fell open and his eyes bulged out. "What?" he shouted.

Ron shrank back, already close to tears. "I didn't mean to" he told us, "I was put under the Imperious curse, and I just couldn't resist it. I'm just not strong enough." At this, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

I reached over and gave him a hug. "Don't worry, it could've happened to anyone" I comforted him.

"We've got to tell Dumbledore." said Harry, his face turning deathly pale. He rushed up towards Hogwarts, Ron and I running after him.

"Cockroach Cluster" Harry panted to the gargoyle at the front and ran up the stairs, stopping at the large wooden door.

"Professor Dumbledore" he called, banging his fists on the brass handles.

The door flew open and Dumbledore stepped out, his usually merry blue eyes lookin strangely serious. "What is it Harry?" he asked.

Harry told him the whole awful story, with Ron and I sometimes interupting in between. When we finished, Dumbledore took another glance at us and started to take quick, long, strides out of his office, us running after him.

"This is horrible news" said Dumbledore to us, as we walked. "Ronald, I know it isn't your fault but now that Voldemort," here Ron flinched, "knows where Hogwarts is, this could be the end."

Harry, Ron and I thought we had misheard him. "Excuse me sir?" I asked.

Dumbledore stopped in his tracks and turned to us. "Voldemort is at full power right now" he told us. "This could mean the end of the wizarding world. I'm only telling you this, because we need people to fight against him. I'm asking you three to help."

The three of us looked at each other. This wasn't like anything we had faced before. With Voldemort at full power, nobody knew what he could do. Even with our powers combined, we might not be able to defeat him.

Harry stepped foward bravely. "I'll fight" he told Dumbledore. "Voldemort killed my parents and it's just something I have to do."

Ron stepped up beside him. "I'll fight too. After what he's done to my family." He swallowed.

Both Harry and I knew what he was going through. A few weeks ago, Voldemort had kidnapped some officials on the Ministry of Magic. Ron's brother, Percy was one of them.

Harry and Ron looked at me expectantly. I knew they wanted me to fight alongside them. But the thing was, I didn't know if I was brave enough. Just the thought of fighting turned my insides to jelly.

"Well, Hermione?" Dumbledore's kind voice interupted my thoughts. "You needn't fight if you don't want to."

I swallowed. I knew I was making a mistake but I had to help them somehow. "I'll fight" I told them all stepping up beside them. "After all he's done to all those poor families..." I trailed off, sniffling a bit.

Dumbledore looked us over. "You know, this isn't going to be easy." he told us, his grim face frightening me a bit.

We all nodded. "Alright then" he said. "Gather up everybody you can. We'll need all the help we can get."

I had made the biggest mistake of my life, deciding to fight like that.

We had gathered up everyone we could. All the students decided to fight, even the Slytherins, which surprised me a bit. But it just wasn't enough against Voldemort's powers.

He attacked with a vengence, blasting away everything in sight. We tried to hold out as long as we could but it just wasn't possible against his power. All the teachers were killed within the first week.

Dumbledore's death was by far the worst. Voldemort, the evil bastard cut off his head and put it on a platter, then took it into the Great Hall for all to see. I wanted to throw up, the proud man's silver hair was tangled and bloody, his crystallic blue eyes rolled insanely in his head.

Voldemort spat on his hair. "Behold my power" he cried out to us below. "You have seen what I can do. Now that your precious Dumbledore is dead, no one can stop me."

I looked around me. Lavender was crying onto Parvati's shoulder, her face grey and ashen. Parvati had just frozen in her place, as if she refused to believe it. Harry and Ron had turned deathly pale at the sight, and Harry looked like he was about to cry. I knew how he felt. Dumbledore was almost like a grandfather to him.

Over at the Slytherin table, Pansy was vomiting onto the floor. Crabbe and Goyle looked even more gorilla like than usual, if that was possible, I suppose that was their way of grieving.

But what surprised me most, was that Draco Malfoy, the boy I had hated for so long, was crying. Not loudly, not a lot, you almost couldn't see it. He was just sitting there, the same sneer pasted on his face, but tears were rolling down his cheeks and his grey eyes were full of emotion. I was truly amazed. All that time, I thought he didn't feel anything at all.

It all went downhill from there. The conditions just got worse and worse. With the teachers gone, Voldemort treated us horribly, cutting down on our supply of food. We only got one meal a day, and that was just bread and water. He had blasted away the walls of three of the four common rooms so everyone had to squeeze into the cold Slytherin dungeons. It wasn't pleasant at all.

Then the real torture started. Voldemort separated the sixth and seventh years from everyone else. The smaller kids were put to work, pulling debris away from the areas he ordered. Large rocks, stones, chunks of the wall, it was all too heavy for them, but he didn't care.

A worse fate was in store for us. Several of the seventh year girls were taken and hung onto the stone wall by metal handcuffs. I was one of them. Then, one by one, Voldemort tortured the rest of the sixth and seventh years in a hole which we were hanging over. We were forced to watch the poor boys, as they screamed and cried, while being put under various forms of torture.

It made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to kill myself, then and there. Just watching those poor souls as Voldemort cursed them, cut them, tampered with their minds, as they screamed for their moms, screamed bloody murder, just screamed and screamed and screamed, watching their faces twist into horror and pain. It was sickening.

We were let down, only at mealtimes, the rest of the day, even when we slept we were forced to hang there. Talking was a chore, after what we'd been through that day, none of us wanted to discuss it. Once at lunch, I managed to croak out to Seamus, who was still twitching from that's morning's treatment, "Why can't anyone see this? Hogwarts must be a wreck by now."

He looked at me, wondering the same thing. "I'll go check" he whispered, and taking his food, snuck out of the castle. Voldemort didn't notice.

By dinner he was back, reporting with his news. "He put a bloody Silencing Charm on his wand" he told me. "And an Illusion over the whole school. Hogwarts looks perfectly fine from outside."

I wanted to scream. There was no way, anyone could know about this. We were doomed. "Alright" I croaked to Seamus. "Thanks"

Voldemort stepped up to the High Table then, his footsteps echoing throughout the whole Hall. "Someone has been sneaking out of Hogwarts" he said slowing, eyeing each and every student.

Beside me, Seamus turned deathly white. "Don't let him see" I whispered to him.

Voldmort continued his talk. "That someone has violated all rules, and must be punished." He stopped and pointed his wand directly beside me. "Avada Kedavra" he roared.

Seamus turned even whiter, and his eyes bulged out. I wanted to do something, push him out of the way maybe, but I was frozen in my chair. He fell to the floor, no longer breathing.

Voldemort lifted his wand and blew some smoke off the end of it. "You've been warned" he said, and walked out of the room.

The rest of us shivered, seeing that, had lost us what little appetite we had left.

It went on for weeks, the same thing over and over. Some of us just went crazy from the torture, once they did, Voldemort killed them. He had no use for them.

I hung there forever, beside all the others, my wrists turning raw and bloody from the pressure. I wanted to cry, I really did. Ever time I tried, no tears came.

The worst I remember was one day, when I was hanging there twitching, right after Voldemort had be torturing Draco. He was fast asleep now, but the memories of it just wouldn't leave me alone.

He woke up then, rubbing his eyes innocently just like a little boy. His lips were cracked and blood dribbled down his chin. "Kill me now" he whispered up to me. "It's horrible here, anything would be better than this. Kill me now, please"

He looked so desparate and helpless, that it broke my heart to tell him that I couldn't. But I had to, and I did. He looked up at me with those, sad grey eyes of his and drifted back to sleep. That night still haunts me in my sleep.

A few days later, Hogwarts burned to the ground. I don't remember exactly what happened, all I know is that, we were eating, and a unatural light came bursting out of someone's body. It lit flame to Hogwarts and the castle burned down completely a few days later.

I was the only one who survived. I don't know how, just that I fell asleep and when I woke up, I was here. One of the ladies that works here told me what had happened. I wanted to scream at her "You have no idea what I've been through!!" But I didn't, just nodded and took the soup she handed me.

And now? It's been two years since Hogwarts, and Voldemort is stronger than ever. One of the only safe places left is St Mungo's since he doesn't care for crazy people. The wizarding world is full of havoc, just as Dumbledore predicted. Fire is everywhere, the people who oppose Voldemort live in fear.

I stare up at the calm white walls and agonize. I need to suffer more, hurt more, my experience was nothing compared to those of my friends. Especially Seamus. My eyes begin to fill with tears. He died because I told him to look, to find out why nobody knew.

I take me long fingernails, press them into my face and scratch, a long, deep scratch. I feel some pain. Good. A drop of blood falls onto my white clothes.

But it isn't enough. No matter how hard I try, I can never join my friends. They're up in Heaven, happy, while I'm stuck here, my experience haunting me, hurting me, tearing my soul apart.

And so I stay, drowning in my memories, on my blood drips on the white, white floor.


Disclaimer: The peoples aren't mine, is that 'nuff for ya?


A/N: And that peoples, is my crummy crummy attempt at writing angst. It doesn't work for me, all my endings JUST HAVE to turn out happy! Argh! *shakes head sadly* I just can't write angst. Well, tippy think's it's good, but she's my friend so she doesn't really count. Now, on a more happy subject, I got a piccy for my profile today! It's a dragon, and it's flying over a lake, and...well, you kinda hafta see it. I wanted to upload another one but NOOOOOO it was over the 50KB limit. Stupid stupid stupid. Well, nuff of my ranting, review this kay? And please please please tell me, that you're at least a bit depressed. Thanks! =)