Phobia
By: Song
Summary: Naruto learns Kaka-sensei is a fag- and talks to Iruka about it. Hinted SasuNaru.
A/U: There was an episode a while back where Kakashi said something along the lines of "I think I'm starting to like you" to Naruto and he began to freak out. The episode spawned this. "T" for offensive words.
"SENSEI!"
Said academy teacher dropped the paper he had been holding in response to Naruto's screech. His ex-pupil was almost hyperventilating with how fast he had run.
"Sensei..." He repeated burying his head in his vest.
Iruka immediately knew something was very wrong. Despite Naruto's loud nature (in every sense of the word) he almost never willingly let his guard down.
Iruka diverted him into a nearby chair. "Breath Naruto, and tell me what's wrong." It was only then that the man noticed the tears in cerulean eyes.
When he had finally caught his breath Naruto met his old teacher's chocolate brown, hurt and betrayal evident in his gaze. "Kaka-sensei is a... a fag!" His voice was past disbelieving.
Iruka had never been confronted on an issue like this before- at least not by someone so close. It was a touchy subject, for even in the ninja world homosexuality was frowned upon. As it was, few knew his preferences, and even fewer knew who his life partner was.
Naruto was not one of those privileged to that information.
Iruka had been struggling with himself when to tell Naruto, but judging by Naruto's reaction to his significant other's sexuality, the choice of 'not yet' had been correct.
And then it dawned on him. Naruto was afraid. Had the situation not been so dire, he might have laughed. Instead, he took a deep breath and spoke. "Naruto, has Kakashi ever done anything kind for you?"
The younger thought for a moment. "He fed me when I was too injured to hold chopsticks- after I finished my new jutsu... and he's carried me back from missions to my apartment when I've been too tired to walk..." he trailed off.
"And had he ever done anything inappropriate?"
"Well, there was that one time with his phony thousand years of pain 'jutsu'..." He paused. "No."
"Naruto, before you knew, would Kakashi ever hurt you?"
"..No."
"Then what makes this any different?" He asked with patience befitting a saint.
"Its... its just the idea. That he's had... that he likes... another man inside of him." The last was spoken in a rush.
Had the conversation not been so serious, Iruka might have blushed.
Naruto however, was not finished. "And that he's ... t-touched someone else like that." This time Iruka did blush- thankfully, Naruto was too preoccupied to see the blood rushing to his face. The stutter did not go unnoticed, and his mind flashed back to the night so many years ago when Naruto had been molested by a drunk. (Naruto never did find out that it was Kakashi who had stopped it from becoming an all out rape.) It was at that point, that Iruka realised that Naruto was not only afraid of Kakashi, but for him as well. His heart warmed at the thought. Even with this startling revelation, he still cared.
"Naruto, if someone wanted to hurt him like that, don't you think he could protect himself?"
"Yes, but-"
"And would he ever do that to someone without their consent?"
"No, but-"
"And if it makes him happy, then is there anything wrong with that?" He continued, not letting Naruto answer the question. "Then what's the problem?"
"But he's GAY!" He finally shouted.
Iruka's hopes of acceptance fell. "Naruto, I am disappointed in you. I thought you were smarter than that. Kakashi and his partner are both consenting adults, doing the acts behind closed doors. The matter involves no one but the ones doing the deed. It would be the same as with a man and a woman."
He thought for a moment. "Naruto, are you afraid of him because you secretly have these feelings to?"
"... maybe."
"And you want to hold someone at night, spend the rest of your life with him? Be partners in every aspect of the word?"
He waited for a reply, but when he did not receive one ventured further. "Sasuke, perhaps?"
His eyes had tears in them, "..yes..." he whispered brokenly.
"Oh, Naruto..." he hugged his little brother close. "It's all right. What you're feeling is natural, and there's nothing wrong with it."
"I-I called him a sick person and a dirty perv. I asked him how he could do that to another person." He was crying now. Iruka sensed one final confession. "And then I said that he was evil and going to hell for it."
The older man spoke softly. "Because that's what other people told you?"
Naruto nodded, swallowing. "I think I owe him an apology."
"You probably do."
Iruka stood, pulling on a jacket.
"Sensei..? What are you doing?" He asked looking up, cheeks tear stained.
"C'mon Naruto. There's no time like the present."
"I-" he exhaled. "Okay."
Iruka smiled. "That's the Naruto I know and love."
The walk to Kakashi's apartment was uneventful. The only thing truly out of the ordinary was Naruto's quiet.
All too soon in the young man's mind they came to the door. Iruka knocked, and waited for an answer. "Kakashi? It's me." He called softly when he received none.
A slightly muffled "Come in," replied.
The pair found the man sitting on a shuriken patterned quilt that lay on an over large mattress- face in hands. His hitai-ate was gone- only the over large anbu singlet and a pair of cargo pants seemed to hold the scarecrow together. Even the mask was missing.
It was obvious he had been crying.
"Iruka, I-" he began.
"I've brought someone to see you." The teacher interrupted.
Kakashi looked up as Naruto awkwardly walked into the room.
Kakashi stood, bowing his head. "Naruto," he said formally "I apologise profusely for my actions. Had I known how greatly it would effect you, I never would have said anything at all. I cannot however, change who I am. I was born this way. I like men- and for that Naruto, I am sorry. I never meant to scare you, or hurt you." His eyes- both eyes, were red rimmed and began to water again as he spoke. He was hurting just as much, if not more than Naruto.
"No... its not you that needs to apologise." He took a deep breath. "It's me. Iruka sensei explained things to me... and I need to tell you that I'm sorry. It's not your fault for being that way, and I know you can't change that."
He smiled a teary eyed smile which Naruto returned.
Without warning, Naruto launched himself to at his sensei, hugging him tightly saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." over and over again.
At first Kakashi was shocked but quickly over came it and returned the hug. "It's okay Naruto. I forgive you."
A number of wet minutes later when Naruto's tears had again dried he spoke.
"Is this..?" he asked looking for something else to talk about- the ring on a chain around Kakashi's neck that had somehow fallen from the folds of his singlet while they had been crying.
"Yeah."
"It's beautiful." He whispered in awe. "I-I mean-"
"Naruto, it's okay." he paused. "You know Naruto, you're the second of two people still alive that I've trusted with my face."
"Th-then who's the other?"
"Me." Iruka answered for his mate, pulling his own silver chain from beneath his shirt.
Fin.
