I'm sitting on the floor, surrounded by piled of tissues, a faded and beat up photo album, and a cd player with a cd of our favorite songs. I collapse back into tears, and sink to the floor, wondering what went wrong, and how i deserved this. I look at the text message for the thousandth time, as if to see a magic change in the words. Then as i flip the phone shut, i look in pain at the smile looking from the photo album, as if to mock me.

Mom came in and asked me if i wanted to eat something. I shook my head weakly. Food just reminded me of your massive eating habits, and your inability to share with anyone else. Lizzie stopped in and wondered how i was, i mumbled fine, and she left, knowing there was nothing she could say. Nobody can think of anything to say. And why try? You already took all of me. Why leave me any chance to heal.

Why max, did things end up this way?

Why did we fight instead of make it work? Why did we use words we didn't mean? Why did we spend more time angry than happy? And god help me, why do i still feel like you own me?

Probably because you do. You took my heart, my first love, and my virginity. You own every part of me, and you know it. And nothing i can say will make it come back to me.

Mom always said make your choices carefully. She warned me there would be people who only want certain things and then run after they get them. Dad always said to watch out for guys like you, who act real nice, but then take off when they got what they really wanted.

I guess you did.

There is no real way to describe it, but i know i'll find a way from this. And max, in case you're wondering, i'll find someone who works for me. Maybe it's gonna be easier than the last time. Maybe, the things you said were right.

What hurts the worst is knowing you stole everything from me, but you still managed to wedge in the true feelings i have for Derek. It wasn't until you carelessly threw out, " just go fuck your step brother Casey. We all know derek is the only one who you want in your pants," that i really registered it around you. And i didn't even fight back. Maybe you thought it was the shock from the statement, but in my mind the only thing that ran through was the thought, cold and deadly, running ice in my veins, he knows.

I came home crying that night. And when you didn't call, derek knew you had balied. And surprisingly, he came in my room, and sat with me.

And funnily enough, he still wants me to have your baby.

What a change in plans.