Note from the writer:

I present to you the impetus for Butterfly Kisses. When I first began writing on .Spark, I would often post my conversations with Inuyasha who had developed into my muse during the early stages of writing fan fiction. The posts were always playful and, in some very significant ways, inspirational. They were my respite while I wrote the first story I ever posted, and they amused my readers a great deal. One evening while writing, I had the idea cross my mind... What if the conversations had actually occurred? What if they had been the meeting of two very real minds across a vast chasm of reality and space and time? What if every story ever written is an echo of some reality barely touched by the dreamer, who managed to sense the ripple of light between worlds? What if Inuyasha's world was actually in existence? What if HE was real... And these conversations had actually been a rapport of two souls achingly alone, reaching out in the night? What would it have taken to open a portal? Would there be evidence of the leap through the cosmic worm-hole, or would it simply be that she or he vanished without word or explanation, leaving all they loved questioning their fates forever? I wanted to know, and so I began my journey into the world of this story. Due to my intense hatred of Mary-Sue style OCs, I abandoned this story after the first three chapters... But I never forgot it. Now, through the tender urgings of my puppy-eared muse, I resurrect the tale... And gift it to you. Please enjoy this reposting of the original conversations. There will be much more to follow.

-M

(Found posted as Chapter 11 on .Spark in the story "To Know The Man")

I lay on my back on the floor of my bedroom, my legs bedecked in knee high Doc Marten boots that have an inch and a half pump heel propped up against my door. My legs are at a thirty degree angle so that my knee length, flowing blue silk skirt doesn't slip too close to my hips. My arms are stretched out crucifix style. My simple black tank top is low cut and hugs snugly, low on my hips. My dark hair brown hair is pooled around my head in waves and my green-blue, hazel eyes look up at the popcorn on the ceiling. It's fitfully hot here. Too hot to think. I've been writing this story the past few days and I have it plotted out so neatly. I want to write more, but I have homework. College calls and I've been so busy, there have been times I've forgotten to breathe. This story has been my sanity. So I stand up and go back to my laptop and write a little hit about myself in the hope that it will sate me for the moment.

"You know you want to keep writing, Ivy."

"Hush, Inuyasha."

"You know you want to dream up a girlfriend for me, Ivy."

"Hush, I mean it."

It isn't that I'm crazy, it's that I'm a writer. When I write it's almost as if I have conversations with the characters I'm writing about. When I write fanfiction set in the Inuyuasha world, the puppy boy pops up rather often during my writing to lend advice and ideas. Sometimes he annoys me, but he always makes me laugh.

He perches on the back of the couch and reads over my shoulder. His silvery white hair tickles my shoulder where it touches when he peers at what I am typing.

"I can't read that. What do those symbols mean?"

"They mean a lot of things. The alphabet used in the English language is phonetic and based upon twenty six letters."

"If you're writing in English and you speak only English, how is it that we understand each other?"

"Babblefish. When you slip out of my imagination, you instantly get a babblefish. Because you're in my imagination, I always hear you speaking English."

"Babblefish?"

I sigh and smirk. "I currently do not own Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so I can't loan it to you, however it comes from that. It's a small fish that you stick in your ear and you can understand all languages."

"Feh. That's stupid."

"Some people think its funny."

"Well, then they're stupid."

I sigh. "You know, sometimes I wish I had a Sit Inuyasha for free card. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars."

"What the hell are you talking about now?"

"Oh nothing. So you're here to beg me to make you a girlfriend?"

"Yup. Kagome's taken. Sango's taken. Kikyo's a mud-pie. Miyoko's my half sister… I want a girlfriend."

I giggle. "What about Ayame?"

"Hell no. No mangy wolves for me."

"I think you like Ayame and you're just being secretive about it."

His jaw dropped. "I do not!"

"Do so."

"Do not!"

"Serves you right for saying people who think a babblefish is funny are stupid."

"You think its funny?"

"Its about context."

"Whatever."

"Look, I'll think about dreaming up a girlfriend for you, but only if you promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"You'll stop saying Feh all the damned time. It annoys me."

"I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking for."

"So are you going to do your homework now?"

"Yup."

"Have fun."

"Always."

He fades away and I sigh and pull out the notes I have to transcribe. After next week I'll be free to do what I want without guilt. Yeah. That will be nice.

(Found posted as Chapter 16 on .Spark in the story "To Know The Man")

I gather up what I will need for the next few days and pack them in my pink luggage. Tapping my index finger against my lips, I wonder if there's anything I've forgotten.

"What are you doing?"

"Packing, Inuyasha."

"Where are you going? Won't G be lonely without you? What about your cats, Ebi and Nel? I know Buyo got lonesome when he wasn't petted all the time."

"I'm going to my best friend's wedding. She's getting married on Saturday and I'm her maid of honor."

"Is that why you have this thing?"

"Inuyasha, get your nose out of my suitcase!"

He jumps back several feet and balances on my desk holding up the crimson silk dress. "I like the color. You'll look really pretty in it, I bet!"

"That's the thought. Now put it back where you found it."

He folds it up again and slips it into my suitcase. "So that means no more story for a few days?"

"Not until Sunday evening. By then I should have at least three more chapters written, but I won't have the time or internet access readily available to post them as I finish them."

"What about your finals?"

"I took my last in class one tonight. It went we, I guess. I'm trying not to think about it."

"What about your online one?"

"I'm doing that one tomorrow evening or Thursday morning. It isn't due until Thursday evening and I have plenty of time to finish it. So why are you hovering over my suitcase now?"

He holds up the golden Godiva box. "What is in this? It smells incredible!"

I grab the box and flick his nose. "Not for puppies."

He growls playfully and tries to reach for the box. "What is it?"

"Chocolate. It makes dogs sick if they eat it. It could kill you."

"But I'm an imaginary half dog youkai!"

"You're the imaginary half dog youkai who lives in my head and, with my luck, that means even if you aren't real I'll end up with imaginary puppy vomit on the floor and I down right refuse to take you to the vet."

"You aren't any fun."

"So you've told me before."

"So where's my girlfriend, huh? You keep being mean to me for no reason."

"I haven't thought her up yet and, well... You kind of deserve it. That and you have a big target on your forehead."

He sticks his tongue out at me. "I think you're just mean."

"You're right, I'm just mean." I smirk and wave my hand at him. "Now go be a good puppy boy and let me finish packing."

"You'll be careful driving, right?"

"I promise. Until later, Yasha."

"Later." He disappears and I finish packing my bags. Its going to be a great visit. I get to see my best friend from high school marry the man she loves and see my family. Life doesn't get better than that when you're with the ones you love for good reasons.

(Found posted as Chapter 21 on .Spark in the story "To Know The Man")

I am sitting in my newly organized room, reading the reviews for my stories, and I feel a soft pressure on my shoulder. I turn my head to see the smoldering gold of Inuyasha, staring at me.

"You're adding more chapters? What the hell!?"

"I feel like I'm rushing things."

"What do you mean, you feel like you're rushing things? You just chose four more chapter titles and now you're searching for poetry. And I know that none of those chapters include you giving me a girlfriend, do they?"

"This isn't your story, 'Yasha, you know that."

"But you're torturing me!"

I can't help but smile slightly. "You're fun to torture."

"No I ain't!"

"Yes you are. When I torture Sesshou, he just looks at me with those icy eyes and tells me 'More weight' like some martyr back in Salem."

"Where's Salem?"

"Goddess, you're distractible. It's in Massachusetts, over on the east coast."

"So you're making Kouga the bad guy?"

"Telling you would be cheating. And, anyway, you already know because you're my figment-friend living in my imagination."

"You realize you're sneaky as hell."

"I try."

"You know, they said you were doing fine with your pacing."

I raise my brow, find a puppy treat and toss it to him. "Good boy, you noticed."

"Don't be patronizing, Ivy." Still, he eats it like it was some decadent treat meant for savoring. "But, really, if they say you're doing ok, you should trust them."

"I do trust them, I just feel like I'm rushing a few things."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that I have some plot devices I haven't even begun to bring into play yet."

"You mean Ayame."

I smirk and tweak his ear, smiling sadistically when he yelps. "You weren't

supposed to tell them that."

"You didn't have to write it down, you know." He rubs his ear, half pouting. "And you don't have to bring her in either. She isn't essential."

"No, she isn't."

"Then why bother?"

"That I will not let slip. She serves a purpose in this story, even if it is only for

my sick amusement."

"Vague, bitchy wench."

"Just for that, I intend to acquire that Sit Inuyasha for Free card."

"You wouldn't!"

I meet his eyes with a stare that could melt metal and my voice resonates with a tone that is best suited to a mother's warnings. "You know very well exactly what I will and will not do, 'Yasha. So watch your step."

"Feh."

"That's it, no OC girlfriend for you."

His jaw drops. "But… But…."

"Goats but, birds fly and cute puppy boys who don't keep their promises lose their OC girlfriends." I smile with that same sadistic shimmer in my eyes. "Or maybe Ayame can be your girlfriend."

"Oh… Oh HELL no!"

"Give me a reason not to."

He scrunches his nose and flattens his ears. Through gritted teeth I hear exactly what I hoped he'd say. "The babblefish thing was funny."

"A little louder, 'Yasha. I couldn't hear you."

"The babble fish thing was funny, alright?"

"I have you so well trained."

"Do I get to have a girlfriend?"

"We'll see. But you definitely got yourself out of a pairing with Ayame."

He sits on my bed and grumbles. "There's that at least. Hey, how was the wedding?"

"Incredible. Everything was beautiful."

"Did you look good in the dress?"

"Remarkably, I have no idea."

"You… You never looked in the mirror once? Why?"

I shrug. "My mom helped the two of us get dressed and I just never stopped to look. I trusted her judgment."

"You don't seem so trusting right now."

"I'm a very different person when I'm not writing as Ivy, 'Yasha. You also know that. Most people probably wouldn't even recognize me."

"Are you going to start writing the next chapters now?"

I nod and make a shooing motion with my hand. "Go off and do what ever it is you do while I am writing, 'Yasha."

"Ok. Hey… If I'm really good, would you consider making me an OC girlfriend, maybe?'

I sigh and smile. "Alright, I'll consider it. But only if you're good and leave me alone to write."

"Deal."

"Shoo."

"Yes, Ma'am."

He fades away back into my imagination and I return to planning out where the next chapter will take me. The smile is still on my face.

(Posted as Chapter 24 on .Spark in the story "To Know The Man," also the impetus for posting "The Choices We Make" because of much coaxing from readers in agreement with the Puppy-Boy)

"No. I won't do it, Inuyasha."

"Oh, come ON, Ivy!"

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"Because it was my first ever. I feel… Naked even contemplating putting it out there."

"But it's still good! Not as good as this one, but it's good! You should trust yourself." He's perched on the back of my computer, looking at me in the eyes. I'm not exactly sure how he could be perched so weightlessly there when I know that he's heavier than that. Must be something about him being a figment. He can only affect the one whose imagining him.

"You just want me to post it because I give you a girlfriend in it."

"And because its good."

"Inuyasha…"

"Ivy, please? Ok, if you won't give in to me, see if the fine readers of this fan fic want more of your stuff. Even if you think it's crap."

"If I ask them, will you drop the subject, get off my computer and get back into my imagination so I can write the next chapter?"

"Yes, yes and yes."

"Alright. Fine. I'll ask them."

"Thank you, Ivy."

"Yeah, yeah. Crazy, annoying Inu-puppy."

(Posted as Chapter 26 on .Spark in the story "To Know The Man")

"Ayame's not so bad. She just reminds me of a too perky cheerleader from the eighties. If you put her in roller-skates and played some ABBA, it would be like a scene out of Zanadu."

"I think that's the meanest thing I've ever heard you say."

"It's the truth." I say and toss Kagome another piece of chocolate. "Tell me you haven't thought about it."

"I refuse to say anything about it."

"Afraid of incriminating yourself?"

"Hai."

"So are you happy with the current story I'm writing for you and Sessy?"

"Yes, though you are very mean. You have this whole thing plotted out and it's just… Cruel sometimes. You could stand to be nicer."

"I'm far too nice for my own good in real life. I don't have to be nice when I'm writing stories and especially not when I'm writing fan fiction." I reply as I nibble at the chocolate covered cherry I've pulled from the box. "So, did you make it?"

She sighs and reaches into her pocket, producing a slip of yellow card stock and hands it to me. "See, this is what I mean by being not nice."

"You could have said no to me. You could have said 'Ivy, this is mean and I refuse to degrade myself just for your momentary pleasure.' You could have, but you didn't. Now who's mean?"

She waves her hand and grabs another chocolate. "Yeah, yeah. When is Inuyasha getting here?"

"As soon as you fade out. Talking to too many imaginary friends gets wearing after a while. It's an unfortunate bi-product of being a writer, this whole 'I talk to the characters I write about' thing, and I don't want to push it. My sanity is at stake, you know."

"Uhu. Yeah. Sure. You just want to be alone with Inuyasha."

"Oh, go back to your demon puppy and leave me alone."

"Have fun!" She says with that perky, innocent and almost sickeningly sweet smile.

Once she vanishes from view, I hide the chocolates and "call" in Inuyasha. He materializes and all but pounces me.

"So have you thought it over?" He asks with a big, stupid grin on his face.

"Inuyasha, you know I already have this whole fanfic planned out and there's absolutely no room for a sequel."

"But you're so creative! And smart! And pretty! And nice!"

"Keep sucking up to me and you'll be permanently suctioned to my ass."

He makes a face and I laugh. "You're more of a smart ass than I am."

"And I'm just about as uncouth."

"Un what?"

"Oh, never mind… The answer is, as much as I would love to write a sequel to this fan fiction where you fall in love and live happily ever after, I can't. It just isn't in the cards."

"Come on, Ivy!"

"Yasha, why don't you just sit yourself down and stop nagging me?"

He is pulled face first into my carpet. I crouch in front of him and wave the Sit Inuyasha For Free card Kagome made for me. "Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. Bad puppy pestering me all the time about wanting me to make you an OC lover for this story or at least a sequel."

"But… I'm your favorite character!"

"Nope. The list goes Kagome, Sesshomaru, Mokomokosama, Inuyasha, Rin, Miroku, Sango Shippo, Kohaku… and then ends with Ayame, Alive Kikyo and Mud Pie Kikyo."

"I get passed over for a furry boa?"

"He's fuzzier."

"What about Sess?"

"Moko makes him fuzzier than you. And he's hot."

"I'm hot."

"No, you're not. You're cute. Painfully cute. Bordering on adorable."

"I am NOT adorable."

"If I scritch you behind your ears, your leg starts going. If I throw something and say fetch, you can't help your self. You have that pouty, little boy thing going on. Face it, Yasha, you're adorable."

"Well… So are you!"

"Thanks."

"You weren't supposed to thank me!"

"Yeah, well, I was supposed to write a five more chapters and an epilogue, but I wrote this instead. Learn to live with disappointment."

"Writer's block?"

"Writer's terror."

"Don't want to end it, huh?"

"Nope."

"So write a sequel."

"You just want a girlfriend."

"I can't help it if the best solution suits my purposes."

I sigh and shake my head, and then I meet his big golden eyes and realize completely what a sequel will mean. SO much work. SO much research and reading so I can find loopholes. "Fine. You win. Six more chapters, no epilogue but a first chapter preview of the sequel."

He grins and I turn into a puddle of Ivy. I can't help it. I just can't tell the puppy boy no.

(Found posted as Chapter 31 on .Spark in the story "To Know The Man")

The puppy boy has his head in my lap. I've had another cold (That would be the second in as many weeks. Damned working at an amusement park.) and so am dreaming happy dreams while I rest enough to paint another chapter in words. His eyes are open and on me in deep amber pools of light full of concern and warmth. I smile.

"I'll be alright, Yasha. I'm sick, but I'll be better soon. I just need sleep. Then you will have the sequel and your pretty girlfriend and you can stop pestering me."

"That ain't why I'm worried. You're sick and you're upset and writing sad stories where I'm dead."

"Heart of my Soul is where I can be sad without worrying everyone. I'll be ok, Yasha. Everything resolves itself in time."

"Yeah, well. You better get some sleep and get well or else I'll get corporeal and kick your ass."

"I love you too, Yasha."

"You better." He smirks and closes his eyes, grabbing my hands before I can start playing with his ears. "She should be like you."

"Who?"

"This girl you're writing for me. She should be like you."

"Didn't you like Sayoko from my other story?" I frown and he opens one of his eyes half way and scowls before closing it again.

"I liked her fine. But… I think the one in the sequel should be like you, Ivy. You get me."

My lips quirk faintly and I sigh, shaking my head. "Kagome is going to tease me forever."

"She does that." He replies, smiling a rather wicked smile I think would fit better on his brother's lips. "She can look however you want her to look, but I want her to be like you. At least so she can stand up to me and make me laugh and won't back down when I'm wrong."

"Inuyasha? Wrong?"

He chuckles and I flick his nose. "Yeah, yeah. Don't let it go to your head."

"That's what most of these conversations are, Yasha. Me letting you go to my head."

"Hey! I'm more than that! I'm your muse."

"Amusing, maybe."

"Bite me."

"Where?"

He sits up and looks at me with that shocked, confused and all together adorable look on his face. "I... Well, I don't know."

I laugh and shake my head. "So damned proper."

"No I ain't."

"You most certainly are. You have that whole honor thing going and what you don't get is that I come from a family that lives more by a pirate's code than a samurai's. Put along side my family, you'd be a gentleman."

"You're lying."

"My father calls himself a modern barbarian for a reason." I reply and wave my hand, dropping the subject. "So you want her to be kinda like me?"

He shrugs, laying his head back in my lap, closing his eyes as I begin to play with his ears. "It would be nice. Then I could torture… I mean entertain you in more than just your daydreams."

"Uhu. I knew there was more to this."

"So does that mean no?" He opens one eye half way again and looks up at me. "Or does that mean 'I'm Ivy. I'm going to be difficult and leave you in suspense until it actually happens.'?"

"Guess."

"Shit."

"You did it to yourself."

"Yeah well… I like surprises."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Wonderful."

"You can keep playing with my ears if you want to."

"I know and am. At least until I wake up from my nap."

"Get better soon, Ivy. It's no fun when you're sick."

"I think G would agree with you."

"That's cause we're right."

"Uhu. G'night, Yasha."

"G'night, Ivy."

(Posted at the end of Chapter 6 on .Spark in the story "Kaidan.)

You're pacing."

"Yes, 'Yasha, I'm pacing."

"Why?"

"I hate writing him."

He chuckles. 'Your fault. Your problem."

I give him a nasty look.

He raises a brow. "No need to get snippy at me, Ivy. I told you what I think of this story."

"Uhu... I just... Ewe. I don't want to write the next one."

"But you're gonna. Because if you don't, you'll never be able to get on with Eclipsed Souls and then I will be pissed again and you'll be miserable." He stands and grabs my hands only to draw me down to sit again in front of my computer. He rests his head on my shoulder. "Get to it."

I playfully snarl at him and sigh. He kisses my shoulder and I start the next chapter.

(Found posted at the end of Chapter 4 on .Spark in the story "Kaidan")

Inuyasha's mad at me. He's sulking right now across the room and refuses to look at me. I sigh and hit him in the head with a puppy treat and he even ignores that. He leaves it on the floor and lets the cats eat it.

"'Yasha, I'm sorry, alright! It just... Worked." I crawl over and sit next to him, folding my legs in lotus as well. He stands up as I lean my head on his shoulder and walks to the other side of the room to continue sulking. I sigh and quickly scurry over, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Stop it, alright? I'm sorry... I'm really REALLY sorry."

"Liar." He bites out through clenched teeth. "I don't like who you're making the bad guy."

"Oh 'Yasha..." He pinches my hands and jumps away when I yelp and release him. I rub the slowly forming bruises he left on me and scowl. "What can I do to make it better? I can't take it back."

"Yeah, and even if you tried, I wouldn't accept it and forgive you. Damnit, Ivy! If I wasn't imaginary, I'd tear out your throat and leave you to bleed out!"

My eyes widen and I grasp my throat. I divert my eyes to try and hide the hurt. "You don't mean that."

He growls and looks sheepish for a moment, then panics when my eyes shimmer with tears. "No! Don't you cry, damnit! That isn't fair and you know it."

"Take it back, then." I say, pouting, fighting the tears. It seems crazy to have my feelings hurt by a figment, but he really didn't have to be that mean.

He snarls and suddenly has my shoulders in a death grip. He hauls me to my feet and shakes me gently until I meet his eyes. Stupid golden eyes. Stupid puppy ears. I really hate myself, but the story line was just too damned good and is still just too damned good. He sighs and presses his brow to mine gently before embracing me. I wrap my arms around his waist and lean on him. "You've been through a lot lately. I shouldn't be so mean... I just don't like this story."

"You don't have to like it, 'Yasha."

He tilts up his head slightly and kisses my nose before sitting and drawing me down with him so I am curled on his lap. He runs his fingers through my chocolate hair and I melt. He really can be very nice when he wants to be. "Can you promise me something?"

"If I do, will you not be so angry at me any more?"

"I ain't angry." I give him an incredulous look and he slips his hand into my hair again and pushes my head back onto his chest. "I ain't angry, I'm pissed. I get angry, I run away and don't come back."

"You didn't talk to me for days."

"Did I run away?"

"No."

"Then I ain't angry."

I smile faintly and curl tighter against him. He has this aura, this energy about him like a certain someone else I know in my real life whose embrace simply makes everything in the world alright again even when it is the furthest from alright that it ever could be. "What do you want me to promise?"

"That this is the last story you do this crap to me in. No matter how good the story is. I don't like it and I don't like the mood you gotta be in to come up with it. It isn't healthy for you to be this depressed."

"I write the best when I'm depressed."

"Bullshit and you know it." He traces my jaw with his claws and I shudder. "So what is her name gonna be? The girl you're making for me in the other story that is gonna be like you."

I laugh faintly. "Is that all you think about?"

"Aside from our chats, yes."

I blush and hug him tighter. "I was thinking her name could be Kyla."

"What does it mean?"

"It means lovely or beautiful."

"Is she gonna look like you?"

"More or less. She'll have her magic seeming and her mortal seeming, but both will resemble me in the most basic ways."

"Then it is a good name."

"Remember my comment about getting permanently suctioned to my ass, 'Yasha?"

He chuckles and nods faintly. "So no reading over your shoulder as you write this story and plenty as you're writing the other."

I smile and nod in response. "I really hate it when you are pissed and sulk for days. It makes it hard to write."

"Go into deprivation?"

"In a manner of speaking."

He only laughs.

(Posted as the accidental Chapter 4 on .Spark in the story "Traversing The Ether of Dreams")

"Inuyasha, stop laughing..."

"But it's so damned funny!"

"I screwed up, ok!"

He keeps laughing and I tackle him. "I'll give you something to laugh about!" And I start to tickle him relentlessly.