An Insane One shot #1

This is what happens when you let me get board while I have a computer. THIS IS JUST A RANDOM JOKE BECAUSE I'M REALLY BOARD.

Warning: OOC, Random, and slightly crazy!

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will. The only thing I own is my insanity and the strange plot! NO STEALING!

This happens in GOF when everyone is ignoring Harry (in this one, Hermione is to)

'God life sucks' Harry thought to himself, sitting alone at the Gryffindor table. He sighed to himself, looking up as the mail came.

Surprisingly, Hedwig and another owl stopped by him. Hedwig had a letter tied on her leg and the other owl had a package. Harry frowned silently before reading the letter. He then broke into a wide grin, cackling evilly.

Suddenly Malfoy was standing behind him frowning. "I know that's her owl! Give them to me!" Malfoy demanded. Harry frowned at him.

"No way! They are MINE! I will not share." Harry growled.

"Give them!" Malfoy said.

"No way!" Harry responded

"Give!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

At this point all other talking had stopped and all eyes were on them. Harry's and Malfoy's eyes locked on each other before nodding.

"Rock, paper scissors!" They yelled (the whole hall did one of the 'Anime sweat drops'). Malfoy had paper, Harry scissors. Harry cackled before pulling out a bag of cookies from the bag (The sweat drops just grew).

"No fair! Mrs. Snape makes the best cookies ever!" Malfoy pouted. Harry nodded.

"Yes! They are soooooooooooooooooooooo good!" he said. He watched Malfoy eye the cookies for a moment. "If you want one, you know the drill, equal trade." Harry said. Malfoy frowned for a moment.

"What about a diamond? Or an emerald?" He asked. Harry shook his head.

"I have 20 of those at home! What if you take my place Tri-wizard chump- I mean champ, then it would be even!" Harry said. The whole hall was shocked at this. Malfoy burst out laughing.

"Do I look suicidal?" He asked. Harry pouted. He was about to say more when Snape came over and took the bag of cookies out of Harry's hands, gave one to Malfoy and put one in his mouth.

"Hey! They are mine!" Harry whined. Snape rolled his eyes.

"My wife, my cookies." He told Harry. Harry glared.

"She was my aunt first!" Harry complained.

"Yes, yes, yes! But these are my cookies now." Snape told him and ate another. Harry glared.

"I'm telling Auntie Patty you aren't sharing!" He threatened. Snape rolled his eyes.

"Are you 5 years old?" He asked.

"If I say yes will it get me out of the tournament?" Harry asked, a hopeful tone in his voice.

"No.

"Damn! Which God did I piss off in another life?" He questioned.

"Hm, the god of death probably, you almost die so many times…" As Malfoy said this, the "God of Death" nodded mumbling about stupid invisibility cloaks and Fanfictions being wrong about 'Harry needing to stay alive'.

"No, it's the God of Danger, he must love you." Snape said. As this was said, the "God of Danger" was chuckling about how entertaining this "Boy-Who-Lived" was and how he can make more trouble for him (Like making him part Vampire-Veela-Werewolf-Elf-Demon-Angel! Or giving him a mate he hates but will slowly fall in love even though they have tried to hurt/kill each other before.)

"Whatever. Can Aunt Patty come up for the tournament?" Harry asked. Snape nodded.

"Yes, she has wanted to see you do one of your death defying stunts since the first one."

"Speaking of death defying stunts; how's Padfoot?" Harry asked. Snape smirked.

"Your Dogfather is fine, he's been pouting because Patty refuses to give him cookies." Harry burst out laughing.

"He shouldn't play pranks on the one who feeds him! He should have learned that after my mom fed him dog food for a week." Harry mused.

"That's a good idea! Let's try it on Pansy!" Draco said. Said girl then glared. Snape sighed

'I should have know that putting them in the same room as my wife would turn into chaos.' HE sighed before devouring another cookie.

END!