A/N. I was walking into work today and I started thinking about John and Teyla's relationship. I have never defined it as anything more than friendship. I think they have a strong, respectful relationship. So, basically I came up with this bit of fluff. I hope you enjoy it.
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Teyla pushes the covers aside and pads across to door. She hesitates for a minute, smoothes down her hair and palms the door control. John is standing there, hands pushed deep into his pockets, shoulders bunched up tightly and he smiles.
"I was uh…just.." he looks over her shoulder and at the tangled bed covers, the curtains pulled closed. "You were sleeping. I woke you. Sorry…I'll…uh-"
He's turning to leave and Teyla reaches out, seizes his wrist in hers and gives it a gentle tug. "I am awake now, John."
He chews his lip, bobs up and down on his heels and then sighs heavily.
"John?"
John looks down at his wrist, where her fingers remain, and she sees a flicker of panic in his eyes that lasts only seconds but has an impact that will last longer.
She steps aside and he throws a look over his shoulder before stepping into her room. When the doors close behind him, he leans on her desk and watches as she moves back to sit on her bed, lowering awkwardly with the weight of her unborn baby.
"Another nightmare?"
"Yeah….don't tell the others okay?"
She would never betray their friendship. She thinks she should be offended he expects her to.
"I should go," John tells her. But he doesn't move. He stands awkwardly in front of her, waiting for an invitation to stay.
She smiles at him. "Would you like to stay here a while?"
"I really shouldn't." He scratches at the back of his head again. "You should get some sleep. I'm just being a freak and-"
Teyla pats the bed as she pulls the covers over her knees.
John glances at the door and then at the bed. As he moves to sit down, she sees the handgun in his other hand. He places it on the side table, carefully. Everyone has their security blankets. John's is just deadly.
Teyla rolls onto her side. At this stage of her pregnancy it's the only position she feels comfortable in. She senses that John is still sitting there and when she looks over her shoulder, his back his tense and he's rubbing a hand over his face.
"I am certain that isn't comfortable."
John catches her gaze. He looks away quickly, toes his boots off and slides onto the bed. He doesn't go under the covers – they're not off-world and it isn't his place – he simply lies on his back and clasps his hands together over his chest.
He's at the edge of the bed and for all their closeness there may as well be a chasm between them.
She hears him sigh. "I am not going anywhere, John."
In the darkness, she thinks she hears him curse quietly. "I know."
"Perhaps the nightmares will leave you soon."
"Or they'll get worse." He shifts closer and his hip is warm against her back.
He's been coming here every night for the last week or so. Always the same nightmare. Always about her. He'd never explicitly told her the content, but somehow she knew. Worry for her safety, worry for her baby and worry that he wouldn't be able to protect her, drove him to her door every night.
"Sorry….." John tenses again.
If watching over her. If sleeping beside her, allows him respite from his nightmares then she is happy. He's a warm body. He's her friend. Despite the rumours, their relationship had always been platonic. He had not come here for sex. He had not even come here because he was lonely.
He was simply worried.
In all the nights they'd slept side by side, neither one of them had breached each others personal space. John wasn't tactile. He didn't hug. He hated shows of affection.
"I am glad you are here."
She says it every night. It makes him feel less weird about watching over her and it abates her guilt somewhat for forcing him to feel this way.
"Yeah…..crazy Colonel Sheppard……….sleeping in your room….hiding from nightmares." He sounds bitter and he's laughing at himself. "I won't stay long. Just till you fall asleep."
That much is true. He's always gone when she wakes.
They fall into companionable silence. Teyla edges back, seeks his warmth and John flinches. "I can sit in the chair if you want….if you need more room."
Teyla smiles. On another occasion she might take offence. She is after all the size of a whale by now. Instead, she reaches behind her, traps John's hand in hers and pulls him to lie behind her.
He's rigid for a minute, hand hovering over her belly awkwardly, his breath ragged on the back of her neck.
"I need support for my back." She tells him.
After a minute, Teyla hears him swallow thickly and then he's closing the distance and wrapping his arm around her, speaking softly into her ear.
"If someone walks in, this could look pretty bad."
Teyla pats his hand. "What better assurance that I am safe, than this?"
Because that's what he needs…..has needed for the last week. A connection. He's trying to hold his team together. He's trying to deal with the changes a new life will bring. Losing a friend to motherhood. His confidante. He doesn't seem to realise that nothing will change between them and he refuses to see that Teyla is anything but fragile. Anything but defenceless.
"Thanks, Teyla." He holds onto her for dear life.
They stay like that for an hour. Teyla lies awake, feeling her baby kick and John sleeps finally. He's silent and content and this is why she allows him into her room each night.
After a while she drifts into a dreamless sleep.