Disclaimer: I own nothing but the fic idea bunnies. The X-Files belongs to Chris Carter & Co.
A/N 1: Thanks to everyone who read my first X-Files Fic Tethered to the Darkness. Sorry this one took so long to get done, but my muse kinda ran away the last few months and I had some family stuff going on too. Enjoy the fic!
Also I have no beta, so all spelling/grammar errors are my own.
We've been together fifteen years now, we know each other inside out and have been through so much together. But even with your scent around me and the warmth of your body next to mine in bed, I can't slow my mind down enough to sleep. So, I do the next best thing, I slip quietly from your arms and make my way into the kitchen. Sighing, I run a hand through my now shoulder-length red hair and glance at the stove's clock.
1:45 AM.
The whistling of the kettle on the stove shakes me from my thoughts. Filling a mug with water, I drop a teabag into the cup and wait for it to steep. This recent stint with the Bureau, however brief my actual involvement was has brought back a fear in me, one I hadn't felt in years and had prayed I never would again. Scooping the bag out I toss it into the trash then add some sugar and milk to my tea.
'I'm done chasing monsters in the dark.'
My words from only a few days ago echo in my mind, the quiet of the house at this hour only serving to magnify them. None the less I was serious, because chasing those monsters meant bringing up two biggest –neither of which I can beat.
The first is loosing you -it has and will continue to be my deepest fear. The very darkness that makes us who we are, has driven us all these years to seek the truth, put us both through hell more times then I care to count; is also what I fear will eventually take you from me.
That mere thought alone, a world without you shakes me to my core.
I don't know if I'd be able to survive it. . . . and that brings me to my deepest regret.
The other monster eating away at my soul and conscience -our baby boy. Loosing you, is something I can't fathom or accept; because I had to give him up. I did everything I could to protect him, keep him and then I realized the only way to do that –was to let him go.
The one thing in this world you and I would both die to protect. We tell ourselves it was the right thing; that William is better off and those that wished to harm no longer can. Our pound of flesh to keep the darkness at bay, I only hope it will be enough and that he truly is now off their radar.
But that doesn't make it easier or mean the hole in both of us will ever be completely filled.
I sigh, wrapping my hands around the warm mug before me. Then take a long sip, letting the hot liquid lightly scald my mouth, as if to purge the thoughts running through me –yeah right.
My greatest fear . . . my deepest regret –my world.
I will follow you wherever this life takes us.
Fin
A/N 2: Hope you enjoyed my second X-Files fic. Depending on what the plot bunnies do, there may be some more in the future. And as always if you liked, leave me a review :)