A/N: This fic is inspired by Good Thing by Sam Smith, and was whipped up quite quickly so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Pretty please review and feel free to check out my other FanFics. xo.
Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing, if I did SwanQueen would be hella canon.
Regina sat up suddenly with beads of sweat sliding down the clear skin of her face, this wasn't the first time she had been rudely awoken by her subconscious and if she could throw magic at it she would. The experienced woman wondered how many times the same dream could torture her, would there ever come a time where it stopped hurting to see the same vivid images played over and over again within her head. Although she hoped yes she knew in her heart that it was a no. Leaning back onto the luxury headboard directly behind her the cool leather lightened the fervent skin on her shoulders and back, but it did nothing to numb the memories created within her dream.. or better yet - nightmare. Closing her eyes she watched the scene play out for what had to be the 100th time. There she was, Regina Mills still in her pajamas standing stationary outside of the hotel complex Emma Swan was residing within, taking a few moments to prepare for what could come, the Mayor would take the steps slowly towards the stairs leading to an old oak doorway. Gently placing her hand upon the foreign and uninviting door handle she carefully turned it in attempt to stall for time, this was alway the part when she would be whipped around by a stranger, the fright discarding any opportunity to fight back as they grabbed the meaningless bag from her slender yet firm arm, then came the punch and the loss of footing as she stumbled and fell, then the knife would hit her. Hard. Directly in the stomach. This was always followed by the 'Evil Queen's' favourite part. This part was when Emma Swan bounded down the stairs of the old establishment and pulled the head of her child's Adoptive Mother into her lap. "Regina please don't do this, hold on.. you are needed. Here... By me, I need you." And that's when she would wake up, without fail, every single time.
To any one else in Storybrooke Emma Swan was known as being incredibly strong, she fought for what she wanted and what she needed but Regina was the only one that understood how weak she could be. Maybe not physically but for Emma to fight for love was total insanity, let alone the idea of her simply accepting the forms of affection being gifted to her. After a violent life of being torn from home to home it was really no surprise that she had walls up, but for the person who was completely in love with her it was the most difficult situation in their little world. How could she break down walls built from titanium and tears? This was always the bitter thought lacing the mind of the brunette as she was shaken awake by the fear in Emma's voice- at least 4 nights a week, each and every time she would scour the room with her eyes before remembering Emma wasn't actually with her and yet again it was just her mind punishing her for the many mistakes she made within her life.
To pretend that Emma wasn't the best thing in her life, next to Henry of course would be a lie on the part of Regina Mills, but she constantly found herself wondering why she bothered trying. But then she would recall the details of Emma Swan that had her completely enticed, the dips that formed dimples in her cheeks when she smiled. The delicate, ribbon like lips that could spit both poison and wine, sometimes within the same breath. The arch of her back. Her slim waist and who could forget her warm eyes that couldn't always mask her emotions despite the effort she put in to do exactly that. But as much as the physical appearance of Emma was close to perfect Regina couldn't think of a single person whom wouldn't be impressed and enthralled at the nature of the blonde. She cared so much although she would never admit it and that was part of the problem. Regina Mills knew all too well the charade being played, she cared so much that the thought of losing everyone by their choice would be to much, and that is why Emma continuously pulled away from anyone and everyone who had ever cared. All the things that made her who she was caused the Mayor to fall even more, however she had tried with all her might to stay strong, to stay afloat and to not fall. All the good things that made Emma Swan would eventually become bittersweet and the former Evil Queen had no idea how to deal with that.
Any excuse to talk to one another would be used by both grown women, they were completely infatuated yet neither could admitted to each other. On the one hand, Regina knew she was ready to confess the complicated emotions strew around her entire being but creating a few adequate sentences to express to a woman who ran from her emotions was a difficult task. It was as a consequence that more times than not when the Sheriff answered her phone she would be met with a dead line. But the blonde never read into it, she always let it go. With a lack of communication where it was vital it was no surprise the relationship began to crumble, and the brunette woman could see the cracks beginning to form. "Miss Swan, I just wanted to tell you that I... um, Henry misses you." It was common at this point for that message to be repeated until it filled the voice mail of Emma Swan.
Regina continued to think to herself, where was a relationship supposed to go if talking to each other just included basic small talk and unfinished sentences? How could two people be together if one was so terrified at the thought of no longer being alone that they completely cut of EVERYONE in her life? These thoughts only brought Regina's her heart rate back up after it had just start to slow down. But it continued to race when the most important question came to her , why would one person continue to fight for something that felt one sided? Once the good things became less important and the bad began to over power how could you fight at all?
Pushing herself out of her expensive sweat-soaked bed sheets the Mayor of the small town took a rattled breath and realised that she couldn't do it was no lifting of weight from her shoulders as she decided to put herself first, instead her chest felt crushed. It was at this moment that her thoughts were interrupted by the chirping of a cell phone, her tear stained eyes focused on the caller ID as she carefully lifted the slim cellphone that felt like a brick laced with bullets, to find it was none other than her Emma calling. Regina was forced to take a breath and fix her mistake. The caller ID showed it was none other than Emma, the timing only solidified to her that it was time to let go and focus on herself and her son, after all you couldn't force love on someone who didn't want it. And that was the moment when she finally understood that you couldn't teach love to someone who never really understood the meaning of the word. That is why Regina didn't accept the call and instead she placed the phone back onto her nightstand and with a little hesitation she left the phone ringing as she started to prepare a breakfast with one less plate.