Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
Authors Note: Yo. I love you for clicking on this story. Just a few pointers. Orochimaru does not defect from Konoha in this story. Neither does Sasuke. The Third died in the Kyuubi attack, and as a result, no one knows Naruto is the Jinchuuriki.
The animal had taken over.
He felt in in his bones, the way his chest boiled and his limbs moved like a dance as the battle waged on. Sasuke was an opponent worthy of fighting. But it wouldn't be enough. Not for Naruto. The animal craved more than he wanted to give, and only a semblance of control could stop it from taking over his body.
He didn't have that control. He never did, and he never would.
Not when so many lives depended on him.
And he didn't want to have control anyways. Because when he did, he was so much more aware of what he was doing and it destroyed him every time.
Kill him.
So as the blood landed on his fist, the voice grew louder. It craved death. It wanted Naruto to finish Sasuke off. But the little bit of himself leftover fought with the voice because it was his mind and no one else's. Gaara said it was possible to reign in that monster, and what Gaara said Naruto believed. So in a desperate gamble to shut that voice off, he did exactly what it wanted him to do and grabbed Sasuke by the shoulders and pushed him to the ground before head-butting Sasuke where he lay.
He knew why the voice existed. He knew how it got inside his head, but he pretended not to, because the truth of why and how was too painful and he wanted to forget.
Kill him. Kill him. Kill him
His head span with a raging headache, and blood fell from his forehead to his nose. His vision, once clear and full, now swam with dizziness and he swayed on his feet. The voice still rung through his ears. But it was quieter, and the animal was lesser now.
"I did it."
For the first time in months, the voice finally quieted.
So with a clear head, Naruto felt the need to crawl over and finish this fight as soon as possible. He couldn't let the animal come back. Not when it had already weakened his mind once. He wouldn't recover a second time. But as Sasuke lifted his hand to shield himself, Naruto reeled back and gasped as he remembered that this was his friend.
He had never killed without the voices influence.
He had never been able to forget when it wasn't singing tunes of murder.
But that was the point, wasn't it? Kyuubi wanted him to do this without his help.
"Why are we fighting?" Sasuke said. And Naruto swallowed. What was he supposed to do? Plead temporary insanity? That was what it was, but it was also more. He'd lost control, again, and allowed Kyuubi to influence him the same way he always did.
Kill him.
I don't want to.
Naruto shook his head. Sasuke was a friend. His best friend. And when the world came crashing down, he was always there, just as Naruto was always there when Sasuke's world came crashing down.
This would be no different. Sasuke would help him get back up.
"I'm sorry." Naruto said.
And the voice was quiet now, so he was allowed to get up.
"I just… lost it for a second. I'm sorry."
He was sitting on the ground, hands braced behind him to hold his body upright, and Sasuke knelt down beside him. This had happened before. They fought, and then they forgave. But Naruto had been going too far lately. He'd been fighting too harshly, and it got to the point that even Sasuke worried.
"You've been losing it a lot lately." Sasuke said. "This is the fifth real fight you've started with me. Sakura's beginning to think you hate me."
"I don't—I would never."
"So why do you keep fighting me?"
Because it's never silent. Because he wants me to kill you.
Naruto's throat clogged up. He couldn't say it, not after last time. Not when he killed the people that tried to help him.
He wrapped his arms around his knees and hung his head. Tears lodged themselves in his eyes, but he wiped them away before they could spill.
"I just want it to stop."
And Sasuke gave the same look he always gave Naruto when he talked about the voice. Of course it wasn't a secret. After all, sometimes he responded out loud, and that brought up a wide range of questions. Sasuke in particular wanted to know every little thing about Naruto, and while Naruto would happily tell him everything, the voice was off limits.
Until the day it wasn't.
He hadn't even meant to tell him.
It just… came out one day.
But Sasuke hadn't believed him.
No one ever did.
Then again, Sasuke not believing the voice existed was the reason Kyuubi hadn't completely taken over.
"You need to get help, Naruto."
"No." Naruto said, "I need to get it out."
Sasuke pursed his lips, brows furrowed as he took Naruto's hand.
"I should get out too." Sasuke said.
But Sasuke was talking about something entirely different.
After all, Sasuke chose to be with Orochimaru, whereas Naruto was forced into the world with Kyuubi.
Naruto knew it was bad when he fell asleep that night.
Kyuubi's fur cascaded down his body, and bloodshot eyes pinpointed him the moment he appeared. That was when he knew there was trouble. Kyuubi hated it when he did something wrong, and he heard everything Naruto heard, saw everything he saw, so of course he knew Naruto didn't finish the job.
"Why didn't you kill him?" Kyuubi said.
Naruto swallowed. Kyuubi had been anticipating the day Naruto committed murder without his involvement. And Sasuke was the person he wanted Naruto to kill. He never knew why. But Naruto suspected it was a trick to manipulate Naruto more than ever before.
Maybe he plans to torture me with it.
"You let go." He said. I can't hurt people without you.
Kyuubi narrowed his eyes. The sewer water sloshed by his feet, but despite the smell, Kyuubi was completely focused. He gave Naruto a look, the one that told Naruto how much trouble he was in. There was never a day when he didn't get in some sort of trouble. But today, Naruto had broken every expectation Kyuubi had of him, and it was everything that determined whether Naruto was a failure or a success.
He'd always known he'd be a failure.
"So you lost, then."
"I didn't lose. I just… couldn't kill him. There's nothing wrong with that."
Kyuubi didn't freak out. He never did. There were never any speeches on how he was a disappointment. It was always just assumed that Naruto would know he was a screw up, and that was what Kyuubi counted on the most. It was what kept Naruto from telling anyone about the voice or the dreams, and it was why, despite everything, Naruto kept coming back to this sewer.
A screw up couldn't survive on their own. Naruto needed Kyuubi just as Kyuubi needed him.
Kyuubi also got much, much louder when he ignored him, and Naruto didn't want to live with thoughts of murder all the time.
So as Naruto watched Kyuubi's eyes narrow and body bend down to a hunting angle, he felt as though something horrible was about to happen. Would it be another splash of sewage water on his face? An all nighter of growls? Or a possession that would occur at random? Naruto had no way of knowing. He wished he did. It would help immensely when predicting his punishments.
And so he waited for Kyuubi's demand. He waited for the words of his punishment.
But they never came.
Instead, Kyuubi said one harmless sentence, and it sent Naruto's mind into a whirlwind.
"You'll be punished accordingly."
And so he waited, and waited, and waited. But it was weeks before his punishment took place, and Naruto underestimated how permanent Kyuubi's punishments could be.
Constructive criticism is always welcome. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.