I have a new story to share, I have been working on this for a little bit and you can thank Bianca for the fact I am posting this right now, she convinced me to. :) Just one thing, this was set before Ziva and Ray broke up, just to get that clear. Hope you like it and please review on your way out. Hundan
He doesn't think his brain can calculate the last time he had felt this real. Over the years he had had times when he had been so utterly fake it wasn't goddamn funny. But now as he sits with her in a newly open sushi bar which smells like something of a mixture between seaweed and freshly cooked fish he feels easy and relaxed.
He was never fake with her, he never had to be. She knows who he really is and he knows her. She knows that his jokes can be so irritating sometimes she just wants to stab him with a paperclip, she may threaten but never follows through. Because in the end she enjoys that comic relief he brings to the stressful career she is invested in. And he makes her smile.
And he knows she's not a woman who dresses up and wears makeup to feel like a woman; Ziva David does what she wants and wears what she wants. If you don't like it he would suggest you wouldn't explain to her that she's all wrong for a woman. He believes she's not wrong, many times has she had him wanting her like he would any beautiful woman that passes by dressed up all fancy, however she had just been herself, she was never fake.
He cannot explain to the full extent of why he is so real with her, it's just always been that way. Something about her. For a long time he had been lying to himself in front of her, hiding behind his truth and the emotions of his heart. He hadn't the courage to expose them to her. However today is the first time since he brought her back, from the dusty land he doesn't like to think about, when he had felt real with her again.
Maybe it was the light atmosphere above them in which she laughed at his good jokes and even the awful ones. Maybe it was how relaxed the were, his suit jacket was lost to the untaken seat on his other side while his tie hung out of place in a much too lazy fashion. She had forgone the jacket in the warmth of the diner and rolled her sleeves out of place to a state of comfort while her hair hung draped with no worry in the world.
Maybe it was the fact that they were talking. And not just talking on a normal basis but really talking. Finally they were back to the bubbly and smooth talk they once had a million light years ago when they had been partners in the time when their fearful leader had abandoned them for cold beer in the Mexican heat. Those were the days Tony missed. Nights spent talking and watching movies, carefree, no worries about what the boss man may think.
But tonight that atmosphere was back and glowing. Neither of them was thinking of their boss, all they thought about was them, sushi and whatever their mouths so loosely decided to express. He had become relaxed enough to approach her on the topic that they didn't talk about when they were abandoned by the safety of friends near by, when they were alone.
"You're happy right?" he asked, pausing his eating while he looked across to her. Gauging the reaction her face gave to him. They could always read each other better with no words. She put the sushi that was halfway to her mouth back on the plate and looked across at him with question adoring her face.
"Happy with life, how you have evolved into who you are now?" he explained. He watched her features change as she became deep in thought. He had never asked her a question like this before, but it seemed as though she was taking the question serious. Which he wanted. He didn't want to be fake, he didn't want lies.
"If you want the simple answer…yes. Yes I am happy that I have become an American and do not have to worry about being taken away. I've grown too strong to go back there" by 'there' he knew it meant Israel, Mossad. And he knows she had grown too strong, not physically but personally. She had grown into a different woman, a strong woman who wants things in life. She wanted life. Not the death sentence Mossad would most likely deliver to her on the work she would go back to. But he didn't want just the simple answer.
"And Ray, does he make you happy?" he then asked. This was the hard answer, not simple but very difficult, because she was talking to him about it. And he couldn't stop himself from asking. She looked up at him, catching his gaze again. He watched as she sat there thinking, actually finding an answer to the personal question he asked.
"He helps" was her answer. It wasn't detailed, it was simple. Not what he was looking for. But how could he blame her? She was Ziva and Ziva was one to answer with simplicity. Easy answers. And talking with him about her personal life was something that never went down very good. He was rippling with jealously and she knew it, and when he asked those questions she knew he was digging, but for some reason she let him know this time.
"So he doesn't make you happy?" he asked some more. And she hadn't snapped at him yet about it so he would continue until told to leave it. She gave him a look as she wondered where he was taking this questioning. She didn't know if she was ready to have a conversation about Ray with anyone, let alone Tony. But the way his eyes sparkled with a different intrigue had her thinking maybe they as friends and partners had evolved more over the years.
His eyes weren't filled with intrigue because of jealousy like they used to but now in the sense of knowledge, he wanted to know because he wanted to know her more. Be one with her more. She knew he was still jealous underneath though but he didn't show it as strong as he used to, and he didn't deny it anymore either.
"He does at times. But it's difficult the situation we are in" Ziva replied. She watched Tony read her words.
"Situation?" he asked softly. He wasn't pushing her to answer and she knew if she didn't want to she didn't have to but she felt as though this moment they were in it was smooth and easy, it wasn't hard to tell him these things right now.
"Distance. Separation over a long time. It does not work well" she told him. She sighed to herself at the evidence of her and Ray's relationship. It was very distant and that's something she didn't want, but she stayed with him.
"And you stay with him because he's a good man" it was said in a way it could be a question or a statement. The statement was true but she felt the need to have an answer for it.
"Yes he is. But I stay with him because it's what I want. What I moved here for. I want to have some sort of life other than work and he gives me that. I want to share my life with some else. But…it's hard when he's not really there. I want to go home to him at night but I can't. And I want to go home to someone at night" she explained. He felt jealous at that comment but he hid it away from his eyes so she wouldn't see. He also couldn't help but know they both wanted the same thing in life. Someone there to hold and to be with, someone to share yourself with.
"Your going to fight through it and wait till one day you'll be with him, in the same place?" Tony asked. She sighed softly and looked away from his absorbing gaze.
"Maybe" she said with uncertainty. She didn't know how long she could be with Ray if he wasn't with her where she needed him. It wasn't working. He heard that uncertainty in her voice. He reached over and lightly placed his hand atop of her one.
He didn't say anything as he didn't really know what he should respond with. He just watched as she softly smiled up at him because she knew he was there for her as a friend to have her back and have that shoulder to cry on if she needed. Not that she was much of a crier though. He spoke to her in the best way they did in conversations like this, silently with their eyes.
After that they had gone back to a lighter conversation, less of the personal stuff involved and finished their meals enjoying the company. They put their jackets back on before headed out the door of the sushi bar; it was a lot colder outside then in the heated bar. He opened the door for her, always the gentleman. She smiled at him softly for the gesture. They walked slowly back towards their cars, savoring the moment they had together.
As they walked it was close, as always, shoulders almost brushing. Its how they walked together, they were comfortable in each others space. Some would say they were too close for comfort but it's just who they were together. They were in comfortable silence on the small walk; it was always comfortable to them. They reached her car first and she turned and faced him.
"Thank you Tony for tonight" she said holding his gaze. He took a step closer to her.
"You are welcome Ziva, I enjoyed the company" he smiled. She looked down for a second and then looked back up towards him.
"I miss this" she said quietly.
"Me too" he replied in the same tone. Soft. She hadn't realized how close they were until now; she was so used to being in his personal space that she wasn't bothered by it. She realized she could feel the heat radiating off his body, he was that close.
"We should do it more often" she stated.
"Definitely" he replied.
"Well goodnight Tony" she said and she brought her hand to the side of his cheek. It was a gentle touch. She leant forward and tippy-toed just enough to reach the perfect height to peck his cheek softly. As she leant back the slightest bit his cheek still tingled from the contact. She watched his eyes as she leant back. He watched her eyes.
He couldn't hold back from the craving temptation to lean forward. And so he did, and she didn't stop him when he slowly brought his lips down to meet hers. In all the years he imagined his first real kiss with Ziva, this was so much better. Because it was real, nothing made up from his imagination. His hands naturally went to her hips lightly and she didn't stop him doing it either, she just softly weaved the hand on his cheek into the side of his hair.
The kiss didn't progress from there; she pulled back lightly and smiled up at him. It was one of the sweetest, simplest kisses he had had before. It was definitely his favourite kiss. He smiled back at her and her hand lightly scratched against his scalp before her hand slipped from his short locks. It was a cute little movement, one he wouldn't expect from his ninja but he loved it none the less.
"Well goodnight Ziva" he said and his hands gradually left her warm hips and fell to his side.
His eyes never once leaving hers. She gave him one last smile and climbed into her car and speed away into the night while he joyfully walked over to his own car. That smile she gave him, it meant so much more then just a smile to him. It told him what just happened she was totally comfortable with. He hoped that they would do this again. He couldn't wait to have another treasured moment with her. He would treasure this one dear to his heart.