A/N: This is something I do whenever I get writers block for my other story. Or just when I am bored. Initially, I wasn't going to get it published, but hey, what could go wrong? o.O
Disclaimer: Gail is the genius, not I (sigh) no I am only the dope that has met her.
Warning: total randomness. Please take these following precautions for your own protection-a bucket of cold water to splash yourself into reality; sit down in a chair so when you faint from the lunacy you do not hurt yourself; I recommend seeing a shrink after finishing the story for further protection. We take no responsibility for permanent mental illness, suicide attempts, etc. You have been warned! Now enjoy the story !
RANDOM CHAT BETWEEN ELLA, LUCINDA, AND SOME RANDOM GIRL THAT JUST HAPPENS TO BE THERE. HER NAME WILL BE: RGTJHTBT, OR SUSAN.
Topic today: Why candy shouldn't dance
Lucinda: Oh my dears, there is all the reason that candy should dance. Can't you see? It's fairly simple.
Susan: and why is that?
Ella: Exactly!
Lucinda: because my dears..--
Susan: We are not your "dears"
Ella: Yes, dear
Susan: (Looks weirdly at Ella) I don't get why Char thinks you're funny…
Char: Oh Ella! (jumps onto stage wearing "pretty boy suit" and wields sword)
Susan: Oh no! (groans)
Char: (Clear's throat and takes a minute to search through his pockets for a slip of paper before realizing it was in his hand and then clears throat again) Yes, Ella , umm… I think you do..(blank expression on face as he squints at slip of paper) ..I MEAN DON'T smella, and I think it's wonderful that you're from Frell-a…GO ARTICHOKES! (makes peace sign and sprints off stage)
Ella: Oh Char…( looks after him with a "lovey-dovey" expression on face)
Susan: right, well back to the dancing candy (looks around awkwardly)
Ella: (snaps out of LD "Lovey-dovey" phase) right, well candy shouldn't dance, and well, yeah
Lucinda: but why not my dear?
Ella: Oh! Well umm, because—
Susan: because…(takes a deep breath then starts talking rapidly without stopping) beacusethenwhenweeatthecandyit'llstartdancingsoitwouldbehardtoeatcuzitwouldjigglearoundeverywhereandIcouldn'tImeanwecouldn'teatitandthenIwouldn'tbehappycuzIcouldnteatmycandy…GIVE ME MY CANDY!! (goes on a rampage and sets the whole set on fire)
We're sorry to interrupt this program for a brief report. A tragedy had occurred in Frell. "Crazy Candy Girl" or Ceeseeji, as she will now be branded, went on a tragic rampage and set the old debate set on fire with water, so we will spend the following five seconds to pay a tribute for the poor trees, because trees have been catching colds now-a-days, and trees have feelings too! Okaaaay, so know that all that boring stuff is over, let's journey over to our new set, and it and it comes with, candy! (Just to be safe)
Ceeseeji: (munches on candy, but not chocolate, because chocolate is for losers! And so are butterflies, because they are just evil.) This is why candy shouldn't dance. That means I wont get my sugar. I like my sugar. Don't deprive me of mY SUGAR!! (starts shouting)
Ella: (Wait a minute, where is Ella? OMG! She's off with that freakazoid bush-head, Char! Oh well)
Lucinda: My dear, dancing candy is a gift (stresses on dear)
Ceeseeji: (doesn't notice because she is now eating some sour gummy worms) hmm?
Lucinda: Oh dear, I'll just show you (turns all of the candy into dancing candy)
It was a tragic day for Frell, and not just because this narrator likes to repeatedly write the word 'gummy' over and over again and may just stop writing this story thingy. No, not at all. The real cause of this disaster is because an idiotic fairy turned Ceeseeji's (named Ceeseeji for her sake) candy into so called dancing candy. Why was this "peace-altering"? Well, my friends, let's look back on a brief summary of Ceeseeji's life..or day atleast. Don't mess with her candy—if you know what's good for you. Back to the story. The set for the argume—debate (which is a mature way for saying catfight) had a sort of retro look to it. Plush, multi-colored armchairs were to the left, on a dusty wooden stage. On the right was an assortment of dancing candy. But standing upon the elevated stage was a stunning, yet quite idiotic fairy and a mad girl.
Ceeseeji's eyes were red as petunias and her hair was messed up for no exact reason because a minute before it had attained perfection. She was slowly advancing on Lucinda, her hands strained and curled…what would happen next??
WE INTURRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A WORD FROM YOUR SPONSORS….
Bob: (Looks around with script in his hands) umm, hi!
Director: STICK TO THE SCRIPT!
Bob: (looks stunned) oh right! (looks at paper in his hands and squints)
Umm, come-eat-at-the-at the-Mudpie-Shack! (starts in a monotone voice) we-have-the-best-garba—I mean food! Yeah. Eat here. Sure.
Director: (Comes out wearing a red hat and an I-heart-mudpies shirt.) You dolt! (strats chasing Bob around the stage, seems to think his name is dolt). Freaking dolt! You messed up my commercial! (at the words 'comercial' realizes that she is getting recorded and turns around) Heh-heh—Mudpies RULE!! (Runs off set.)
Bob: (makes a peace sign at camera then runs off because he got to go to the bathroom)
BACK TO THE PROGRAM
Ceeseeji slowly creeps up to Lucinda with an evil look on her face, as if she was about to commit something evil. This narrator can no longer bear to spare you the horrifying details, so instead she decides to sing her lovely "reviewers" (hint hint, something that is italicized/underlines/bolded/marked by quotations shouldn't be taken lightly) the dramatic tale of the fall of poor Lucinda the fairy and Ceeseeji's madness at it's peak.
(try to make up the tune yourself, sing it outloud, it's fun)
There once was a fairy. Bum bum bum
Her fate turned out so sca-ary. buuummmm
All because this poor creature, ooohh!!
Gave some candy a brand new feature. Yah.
(drums start beating in the background and music stops being so boring)
Ooh, ooh, ooh, and now she kno-oh-ows,
The way things go-oh-ohhhh.
Never…take…candy fro-om..CEE-SEE-JI!
(Music starts getting boring again and drums stop.)
So gone now is the fairy,
She knows that dancing cannndy
Is so-oh-oh wrong.
And if you haven't noticed,
I think I've gone…"ding dong" ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh yaaaa!
And so was the final moment of fairy Lucinda. And now she is nowhere to be found. Ceeseeji is still rampaging for more candy, just not chocolate. Especially butterfly shaped chocolate because we—she just don't roll like that. It doesn't "float her boat". Okay..I'll stop now. But with this story, you can tell that it just goes to show that some people would do anything for their candy. Who wouldn't? And now this author should make a run for it, for Ceeseeji had spotted me with a 5-foot long nerd's rope that I got at my trip in the high altitudes of the Alps with my friend Melody in my clutch and upon her face is a hungry expression as she is looking at it. She's coming closer, and closer and now I'm scared! GOTTA GO!
Moral: never mess with candy!
COMMERCIAL TIME
Director: Ok, we'll try this one more time…and…..ACTION!
Bob: (holds up a brown substance in a plate) Yes, well, umm…where is my script?
Director: In your back pocket you idiot!
Bob: found it! Ok, (squints at the paper) This is one jazzy? Oh, umm one jazzy piece of crapppp…..uh Mudpie! Yes mudpie! Um…take bite out of mudpie? Oh! (Takes fork and tries to stick it into the rock hard mudpie, but it doesn't work. When it doesn't work, he stick out tongue to mudpie. Weird expression comes to face. ) Ahhh! (Shreiks then falls to floor making choking sound)
Director: You idiot! (Starts to kick Bob's writhing body on the ground, now thinks his name is idiot rather than dolt…strange) It's not that bad you idiot! (Takes mudpie, and tries to take a bite. Cracking sound is heard. A tooth falls to the ground) CUT!! NOW!
A/N: If you say Ceeseeji out loud, it sounds like CCG, which stands for Crazy Candy Girl, just thought I'd let you know. This was completely random and done in the middle of the night while I was super hyper, so…figure it out yourself. I might make another one, probably not. Don't get your hopes up.