Four Attendings and a PA

Disclaimer: Not mine. All are the property of Michael Crichton and the producers/etc. of ER.

A/N: This first got written 5 years ago, when Jeannie, Doug and Carol (and Benton and Doyle) were still in the show. It's set near the start of season 5. It's my first ever ER fic, and having finally unearthed it and tweaked it a little and reorganised the format, I decided to post it.

A/N 2: one of my friends challenged me to write a romance fic featuring the most unlikely pairing I could think of. The only requirement was that they both had to work in the hospital and be official ER characters.

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Part 1

"See you finish those charts, Kerry," Rocket Romano ordered in his usual authoritarian (some might call it rude) manner that got up the backs of the entirety of County General's staff, from the Chief of Staff (one Donald Anspaugh) to the cafeteria staff.

Kerry Weaver, one of the ER's attendings, just scowled back at him. "Your wish is my command," she muttered sarcastically, watching him saunter back up to surgery.

"You too?" inquired paediatrician Doug Ross from nearby, overhearing her comments.

"Yes. Why does he always have to be so grouchy and rude?"

"I dunno," Doug replied with a shrug of his shoulders. He got down on the floor and began rummaging in the boxes on the bottom shelf behind the front desk. "Maybe he's lacking a woman – and luuuurve…"

"Oh, please. Our cheery colleague doesn't know what love is," Kerry retorted dismissively. She stopped reading through the lab report in her hand and instead peered down at Doug, a perplexed expression on her face. "Doug, what are you looking for down there?"

"Conni dumped a book in here a while ago. Something to do with getting people happy through love," Doug explained distractedly, tossing an old set of scrubs aside.

"Romano binned that a while ago. None of us had the guts to retrieve it," Charge Nurse Carol Hathaway announced, entering into the vicinity of the two doctors. "Kerry, the guy in Exam Two can go home." Kerry nodded, taking the chart and flicking through it, before heading off.

"What do you want it for?" Carol asked Doug curiously. She was always intrigued by anything that could make Kerry Weaver and Doug Ross have a conversation without World War Three breaking out.

"Kerry and I were just thinking about how maybe Romano could be nicer if he was in love," he responded, flashing her a quick, adoring grin before returning to his rummaging. Carol was not impressed when an airborne lab coat made its landing on her head.

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"Thanks for paging me, Kerry. I'll take her from here." OB/GYN attending Janet Coburn nodded curtly at Kerry, who pulled off the latex gloves as she stood in Trauma One.

"Certainly, Dr. Coburn," she muttered sarcastically under her breath, glaring at the other doctor's retreating back. Janet Coburn was far from her favourite member of staff. She was far from anyone's favourite. "Least I could do."

Nurse Haleh Adams glanced at her. "Everything OK, Dr. Weaver?" she inquired curiously.

"Hmmm? Oh, yes. Fine. Where's Doug Ross?"

Haleh looked surprised at this. Kerry and Doug absolutely hated each other, so why did she suddenly need to speak to him without sounding annoyed? "What's he done to upset you now?"

"Nothing. Just an idea…"

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"Doug, Kerry wants to meet you at Magoo's. Something about Romano?" Carol said, munching on a doughnut as she flicked through a chart. "Now, by the way."

"Oh, right. I know what Kerry's like with her 'now's. See you later." He hurried across the street to the ER staff's most convenient non-hospital hangout, and quickly spotted Kerry in the corner booth. "Why the privacy here?" he asked her as he slid into the booth after obtaining a coffee.

"Didn't want to get overheard," she told him, an impatient tone in her voice as though the reason was blindingly obvious.

"Carol said something about Romano."

Kerry nodded. "Oh yes. I just got hit by an idea. Coburn was in superbitch mode with me earlier, so I figured, she's awful, he's even worse…Match made in heaven, don't you think?" She looked up at her fellow attending hopefully.

Doug almost choked on his coffee in shock. "Are you seriously suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

She shrugged. "Depends what you think I'm suggesting."

"Are you suggesting that we set them up?"

He gaped as the redhead nodded firmly. It was not often that Doug Ross was rendered speechless.

"Oh, yes. Most definitely," she assured him. "We need to…set the wheels in motion, as it were, for them, though."

He contemplated this for a moment, then, deciding that he liked it, stuck out a hand and they shook. "Deal."

"So, what do we do first?" she asked, leaning in close to minimise the possibility of being overheard.

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"Something's going on." He flipped through a chart.

"Damn right. Since when are those two friends?" She scanned an order form.

"Since they're plotting something, I bet."

"The question is, what? I know Doug said – and Kerry agreed (which is a miracle in itself, if you ask me) – that Romano would be nicer if he was in love…"

Mark Greene looked at Carol. "They're setting him up."

"But who with?" Carol wondered. "I mean, who's that bad as to deserve being set up with Romano?" She shuddered at the prospect.

"Maybe I'll get it out of them."

"Maybe. See you."

"Bye."

Mark watched Carol stride over to the other two attendings. "Kerry, Doug, what's going on?" she demanded.

"Romano needs a girlfriend," Doug told her brightly. "So we're gonna do something about it." He nodded to Kerry. "You ready?"

"Oh yes. I just hope I don't laugh."

"You do and you're dead. Got it?" He pointed his fingers at her in an imitation of a gun.

"Yes, sir." Kerry saluted him sharply. "Off to Romano."

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"Is Dr. Romano about?"

"Who's asking?" an unfamiliar woman retorted. Kerry deduced that she was the new resident.

"Kerry Weaver. It's kind of important." She indicated the charts she'd dumped on the desk.

"He's just coming," Elizabeth Corday, the British surgeon, informed Kerry as she came up behind her. "What's up?"

Kerry picked up the charts. "He wanted these dropped off, but I figured I'd better give them to him in person, in case they go wandering. Sometimes charts have a life of their own." And the odd created love letter slipped in amongst them, she added mentally.

Elizabeth nodded. "I know what you mean. Oh, here he is."

"Dr. Romano," Kerry called out, "I have those charts you wanted."

"About time." He practically snatched them from her and strode off.

Kerry glared after him. "And thank you, Dr. Weaver," she muttered sarcastically. "So kind of you to bring them up to me."

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"Any action from Subject RR yet?" Doug asked Kerry as they hurried down the El steps the next day.

She shook her head. "I hope he got it," she worried. "If it got lost and turned up somewhere else, God knows what could happen."

"You did type it, didn't you?"

"Do you think I'm really that stupid? Wait, don't answer that, Doug. If it was handwritten I'd have to imitate Coburn's handwriting and then he wouldn't be able to read it anyway!"

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He'd read it, all right. As he drove into work that day, Robert 'Rocket' Romano smiled to himself. It was an interesting note, to say the least. Typed, but not signed. And whoever it was had told him to meet her in the end booth at Doc Magoo's by the jukebox at 2pm today.

What he didn't know was that two attendings and a PA – Jeanie Boulet had been let into this after catching Kerry, her best friend, writing the note – would be in the booth right next to them.

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TBC