Little Red Riding Hinata
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the story 'Little Red Riding hood' but I do own the whole plot smirks
A/N: Hey guys! I know I was supposed to be typing up the next chapter for Sakura Seasons but I couldn't help but just do this!! Anyways, enjoy…. He-he…. Muhahahahahaha!! -smirks-
By the way, 'N' means Narrator… and the narrator is me…
N: Once upon a time, there was a small village called Konoha which was surrounded with miles and miles of nothing but forests and trees.
Hinata: You didn't have to mention trees. Trees are part of the forest you know.
N: Shut up, you're not being introduced yet. Anyways, in the small village of Konoha lived Little Red Riding Hinata who lived with her parents in a small cottage.
Hinata: Umm… Hi. –waves-
N: One day her mother asked Little Red Riding Hinata to take a basket of 'goodies', to her… ahem… 'grandmother'.-snickers-
Mystery Voice: Just get on with it already woman!!
N: -clears throat- As I was saying, Little Red Riding Hinata skipped into the forest to her –coughs- 'grandmother's' cottage. Before she set off for her journey, her father told her a warning.
Hinata's 'Father': Don't talk or go off with any strangers.
Hinata: You're not my mother. You're Kakashi-sensei!! And you're not my Father!! You're Anko-sensei!!
Anko: I don't even know how I got a man role…
Kakashi: -whispers- at least you don't have to wear this goofy outfit.
N: -coughs- ahem.
Kakashi: If anyone needs me, I'll be at the tailor's getting this 'thing' off of me.
Sasuke: That's a bodice idiot…
N: Hey!! You!! You're not supposed to be in this story!! –pushes Sasuke out of the scene-
Hinata: Okay…
N: Weirdo Sasuke. How does he know about women's stuff?
Hinata: I think he's gay.
N: Okay, back to the story; Little Red Riding Hinata entered the forest safely and was just in the middle of her journey when she found a field of flowers.
Hinata: OH! This will be wonderful for my –coughs- 'grandmother'. I'll collect a bouquet for… 'her'.
N: Unfortunately, the Big Bad Wolf was lurking in the shadows nearby.
Kiba: Is she talking about me?
Akamaru: -barks-
N: The Big Bad Wolf appeared in front of Little Red Riding Hinata with a smirk.
Kiba: Umm, what are you doing little girl?
Hinata: I'm picking flowers for my ill –coughs- 'grandmother'. And by the way, I'm fifteen so I'm not a little girl thank you very much.
N: Psst!! Remember you're not supposed to talk to strangers!! –points at script-
Hinata: Oh yeah. Umm… Sorry, but I'm not allowed to talk to strangers. Goodbye Mr… umm…
Kiba: Just call me the Big Bad Wolf.
Hinata: Okay Mr. Big Bad Wolf.
Kiba: Before you go may I ask where you are going?
Hinata: Oh, I'm going to this little cottage up further in the North-East just a mile away from here- oh shit! –slaps herself- I'm not supposed to tell you where I'm going.
N: The Big Bad Wolf had a sinister plan in his head. He would go after Little Red Riding Hinata's –coughs- 'grandmother's' cottage and eat her up first. And when Little Red Riding Hinata comes, he can eat her up too.
Kiba: I'm not a cannibal, lady!!
Akamaru: -barks-
N: Fine. Instead he would take them hostage for ransom so he could get rich.
Kiba: That's more like it.
Akamaru: -barks-
(Insert silence here)
N: Ahem!!
Kiba: Oh Shoot! Umm, before you go to your –coughs- 'grandmother's house, take a detour to the river bank and you'll see even more beautiful flowers there.
Hinata: Okay.
N: And with that, Little Red Riding Hinata skipped onwards to the river bank. The Big Bad Wolf clasped his hand together and cackled.
Kiba: Muhahahahahahahahaha!!
N: The Big Bad Wolf ran to Little Red Riding Hinata's –coughs- 'grandmother's' cottage. When he got there he-
Kiba: Let's break in Akamaru!! Here we go!! –jumps into a window-
Akamaru: -barks-
Kiba: And we stick the landing!!
N: You dumbass!! The door was unlocked you know!!
Kiba: Woops…
'Grandmother': Hey, you're gonna pay for that know.
Kiba: Whoa!! Why are you Hinata's Grandmother?
'Grandmother': Count yourself as lucky that you got a better part than me. So don't say my name aloud now.
Kiba: Fine, but you look terrible in that night gown.
'Grandmother': -growls-
Kiba: Okay, I'll shut up now.
N: Aren't you forgetting something?
Kiba: PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR SUCKER!!
'Grandmother': YOU'RE JUST TAKING ME HOSTAGE IDIOT!!
N: Several minutes later, Little Red Riding Hinata arrived at her –coughs- 'grandmother's' doorstep.
Hinata: Strange. The window's broken. The door's always unlocked.
N: Little Red Riding Hinata opened the door and entered the household. She shut the door behind her and looked around.
Hinata: Umm, 'grandmother!!' Are you home?!
N: Suddenly the coat closet beside Little Red Riding Hinata opened and the Big Bad Wolf came out and tied her up with a rope.
Hinata: What the hell? This is just a belt.
Kiba: The store ran out of rope…
N: The Big Bad Wolf carried Little Red Riding Hinata to where her –coughs- 'grandmother' was. The Big Bad Wolf opened the door to the bedroom and revealed her tied up 'grandmother'
Hinata: NEJI!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THAT NIGHT GOWN?!
Neji: Don't ask…
Kiba: You think that night gown's ugly? I think so too.
Hinata: What's wrong with the Narrator?
N: Hey, I didn't pick that. I let the man himself pick his own night gown.
Neji: It was the only night gown in stock so can we not talk about it?
Hinata: No I know why it was the last in stock. –giggles-
Neji: Would you guys just shut up!!
N: Kiba, get on with the hostaging already.
Kiba: Is 'hostaging' even a word?
N: No, but carry on!!
Kiba: Okay… Umm, I think I'm done.
N: Oh yeah. Wait a minute!! Where did that moron go!! He's late?
Hinata: Who's late??
Naruto: YO!! –crashes into room from the window-
Neji: YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL INSANE!! THE GOD DAMN DOOR IS UNLOCKED!!
Naruto: Oops…
N: Oh yeah, I'm back to reading the script now. The wolf cackled… No that's not it. The grandmother cried… No I cut that out. Oh here it is!! –clears throat- The village's leader's son came crashing through the window to save Little Red Riding Hinata and her strange grandmother. The truth was, Little Red Riding Hinata had a major crush on the village's leader's son, called Naruto.
Naruto: Hey!! How come I didn't get a name like Kiba and Hinata-chan?
N: Just put a sock in it okay? It was either that or the Disgustingly Hairy Woodcutter.
Naruto: I'll stick with my current name.
N: ahem! Don't you have a line to say?
Naruto: Umm, FEE FI FO FUM-
N: Wrong story.
Naruto: I will huff and I will puff-
N: WRONG STORY.
N: Repaunzel, Repaunzel, let down your-
Everyone: WRONG STORY!!
N: Someone get this fool a script.
Sakura from backstage: Okay. –throws Naruto a script-
N: Holy shit!! He got knocked out!!
Hinata: Oh my god, is he okay?
Naruto: Gotcha!!
Hinata and N: -whacks Naruto on the head-
N: Don't fake an injury.
Hinata: You got me worried over nothing!
N: Okay guys, back to the story.
Naruto: Ouch –rubs head- umm, I will save you Little Red Riding Hinata!!
Kiba: I will never let them go unless you give me a ransom!!
Naruto: How about I pay for lunch?
Kiba: Fine with me.
Naruto: Deal. –shakes Kiba's hand-
N: It's supposed to be The End now.
Hinata: We know.
N: And why hasn't the story stopped?
Naruto: Who knows?
N: Okay guys! Take a lunch break!! Then take a look at a new script!!
Everyone: Okay.
THE END
A/N: Was it good? Couldn't help but type this up in one night –sweatdrops- I've got other fairytale one-shots to do. Do you want me to do that too? Well after I'm done with my main fanfiction. Well I'll see you whenever!! Reviews are much appreciated!!