Because we Can-Can-CAN!

By Lady I

Has Hermione gone bonkers? Or has her inner fangirl started to leak out? Inspired by a new muggle crazy, the movie Moulin Rouge, she starts up a theater group to perform it. The result: Draco in stilettos, a lovesick Harry, a possessive "Duke Ron", not to mention every slashy paring she could fit in there!

Disclaimer: All characters from or relating to the Harry Potter series belong to the wonderful J. K. Rowling and her publishers. All use of character name, title, script, ect. of Moulin Rouge belong to

Baz Luhrmann, Craig Pearce, and other contributors. All the side and extra characters belong to me, but they're not worth much.

Chapter one: Meet the Moulin Rouge.

Hermione surveyed the group of her future performers. Harry and Ron were sitting at the front of the room talking with Neville, Seamus, and Dean. Lavender, Parveti, and her sister were in the middle probably discussing beauty tips with the Ravenclaw girls next to them. Draco Malfoy lounged in the back of the room, his bodyguards Crabbe and Gowl surrounding him, obviously indifferent to Blaise Zambini twittering in his ear. Odd groups of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherins were scattered in chairs across the room.

Hermione signed. She reassured herself that she could work with what was strewed before her. Yes, she thought, and work quite well with it too. She clutched the large pile of scripts she was

carrying to her chest and headed for the ancient desk at the front of the room. She pulling back the chairand it erupted a huge scraping sound, as if it hadn't been moved in years. She flopped into it and dropped her scripts on the table. A huge cloud of dust exploded off the table causing Hermione to wave her arms violently in front of her face. She fell into coughing spells, hacking and snorting. When thetrauma finally ended she looked up over her scripts and was confronted by the stares (and snicker from the back corner) of her group.

"Well, yes, so nice of you all to come." She began and took off her glasses to give them a good cleaning."As you all know this is the first meeting of the Hogwarts Players, the theater group Dumbledore so kindly let me start. " She pushed her glasses back on her nose and bent down to give one last cough. Draco rolled his eyes.

"For most of us this was strictly volunteer, so most of us should have a wonderful time."

"I started this group so that those of us that have developed a love for the theater could gather to

create and perform plays and musicals of our liking. I don't know about anyone else's acting experiences, so I choose a musical for us to perform. Not what you'd expect, but I've taken the liberties, not breaking copyright of course, of using a muggle movie script and adjusted it a little to fit our needs. I doubt many of you have heard of it, but Moulin Rouge, a fabulous production written and directed by Baz Luhrmann, was what I choose.

Set in muggle Victorian Paris during the "bohemian revolution", this musical centers on the beliefs of the revolutionaries: Freedom, beauty, and love."

"Hey, Hermione," Dean interrupted, "isn't this the movie were the prostitute dies?"

"Well, yes Dean, but that's only a small part." She started.

"Yeah, there's all these girls running around flashing their knickers at everyone." Dean added.

In attempt to catch her crowd's attention Hermione cleared her throat loudly, something she had gotten quite good at from all her years in Poisons. But Deanhad already launched into a wild story of all theerotic things that existed in the movie. Hermionepounded the table (which seemed to moan at such brutaltreatment) and gave them her best glare ever. One shewas sure would shut even the Weasley twins up.

Speaking of Fred and George, she thought and they tumbled into the room.

"Sorry we're late, Herm. We had some...err... trouble with Filch." Fred gasped; out of breathe.

"Yeah, I wouldn't go into the Charm's corridor if I were you." warned George.

"Yes, well anyway, I was just telling everyone about the musical I chose. It's a muggle movie called Moulin Rouge. And, YES, Dean there are prostitutes." She added before Dean could open his mouth.

Fred and George grabbed a seat and Hermione held upone of the scripts.

"As you can see, this is a very long musical. The movie takes about 2 and a half hours, but for scene changes and an intermission, we're looking at a little more than 3 hours here. Now, this may seem too long, but I promise it's well worth the effort. It's an absolutely amazing musical, and you'll have fun performing it. Now my plan is to give a brief description of the main characters and then we'll watch the movie. Next time we meet I'll hand out random parts and everyone will try out. Now we have about 9 "key" characters. That leaves a lot of you without tons of speaking lines, but remember everyone is important to this production. I want everyone to cooperate and except the part they get. I need at least 50 of you to do all my important dancing and singing. A lot of the most difficult scenes will be performed by the "extras". Having a smaller part does not mean you don't do anything in this musical. Actually it means the exact opposite." Hermione had leaned out so far into the desk that she was almost on top of it.

"So, um, what your trying to say is that most of us won't get a part, but we suppose to have a right old time anyway?" George piped up.

"Well, yes." Hermione shrugged and wished someone would acknowledge understanding.



"Ok, I might as well start with the main characters: Christian and Satine. Satine is the "Sparkling

Diamond" of the Moulin Rouge, a famous cathouse in Paris. She's the star of the Moulin Rouge, and a courtesan. Christian is a penniless writer that has traveled to Paris to be a part of The Bohemian Revolution. He rents a room and one day while writing, The Unconscious Argentinean falls through his ceiling. It turns out that a group of bohemians are rehearsing a musical in the room above. Because the Argentinean has narcolepsy they ask Christian to help them rehearse. He agrees and when the group starts arguing over lyrics Christian gets in his own ideas. They end up loving them and he joins up. Harold Zidler, the owner of the Moulin Rouge is financing the play, so they have to get him to agree about Christian writing the show. They know he will have problems with the change so they must get Satine to convince him. That night they go to the Moulin Rouge to talk to Satine. She mistakes Christian for The Duke, a very wealthy investor that is "interested" in Satine. Believing that Christian is The Duke, she tells him that she loves him. Christian inevitably falls in love with Satine. Later Satine figures out the Christian isn't The Duke, but too finds herself falling in love. The plot goes on, but it would take more time than we have to explain it all and see the movie, so you'll just catch on when we watch it."

Hermione rushed through her words, praying no one will interrupt and everyone will understand. The result is a bunch of confused looks, and some snoring from the back corner

She giggles nervously, "I'll just start the movie."

Hermione pushes back her seat and scuttles over to the front of the room. She pulls the sheet off a tv set she borrowed from Muggle Studies, and taps it twice with her wand. It comes to life, and a few students gasp.

"This is a muggle tv, and I put this thing," she hold up a Moulin Rouge dvd "into a DVD player, so we can watch the movie. Oh, you'll learn about it in Muggle Studies!" She futzes with the remote, and the images flash across the screen.

Students jump out their seats to get a closer look. They pull chairs up around the set, and watch

intently. Even Malfoy and his followers come closer, complaining about having to watch idiotic muggle movies.

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Hermione watches happily as everyone becomes entranced. They react perfectly. They laugh, they gasp, they sign, and cried right on cue. She envisions how everyone is going to fit into the musical; who is going to be who. She dreams of costumes and dances. Of sobs and romances. Of songs sung with full voice, feeling radiating from them. How the audience will love it. Give them a standing ovation, screams of "Encore". And of that small idea that's been growing in the back of her head.