Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital, and no copyright infringement is intended. This is for amusement purposes only, so enjoy.
Summary: (Set in 2008, after the break up.) When Jason offers excuses and not to step up to be a man, Elizabeth decides she can't waste her time on a maybe.
Inspired by the song: "Half the Man" by Rozzi Crane
Half the Man
By ThroughtheMirrorDarkly
Jason had just got back from the hospital. He had decided to visit Michael after agreeing to be Jocelyn's godfather, and there was a conflict of emotions in his chest as he set his keys down on his desk. Before he could analyze them further movement out of the corner of his eye made him tense, he whirled around only to gap at Elizabeth who stood with her back towards him. Her blue eyes locked onto the mantel, and the pictures that set there. Pictures of him and Michael, him and Carly and Sonny, even one with him, Spinelli and Sam. "Elizabeth?" He said, softly.
Elizabeth slowly turned around. There was something stiff about her posture, something carefully composed so that he couldn't tell for a second if she was mad or sad or anything. Her big expressive eyes were shuttered, like the curtains had been drawn to hide all her thoughts from him and Jason felt a keen pain in the center of his chest. "Jason," she stated, her voice even. "I apologize for the intrusion, but I thought it was time to return some things since it's very clear that I will not need them anymore."
"What?" Jason gawked at her.
Elizabeth reached into her coat pocket, and first pulled out two keys. One to the penthouse and one the safe house, setting them on the table. The metal clicked against the wood with a finality that made Jason's stomach clenched, and then his heart sank when she pulled out her engagement ring. The one he had made just for her, and she stared at it for a hard a long moment before she dropped it on the table. It hit the wood, and rolled around for a split second before it came to a stop.
"E-Elizabeth, what are you doing?" Jason asked.
"It's time, Jason," Elizabeth crossed her arms over her chest, and looked at him flatly. "We've been putting it off too long and for a long while I believed it was because we cared about one another…it's time to say goodbye."
"We never say goodbye," Jason looked stunned.
"This time we do," Elizabeth said, a trace of a sadness on her face. She looked at him, before she shook her head sadly. "I realized that what we were…we were just lies."
"No!" Jason couldn't believe she would reduce the precious time they had spent together to lies. Did she regret it? Was she doing this as payback? Neither of them seemed like Elizabeth, but he didn't know what brought this on. "It was never lies, Elizabeth. Never with you."
Elizabeth bowed her head. "Maybe not lies. Maybe it just wasn't enough. Not for you," she commented, her expression souring.
"Elizabeth, w-what brought this on?" Jason had to ask.
"I heard you are going be Jocelyn's godfather. Carly couldn't resist telling me when she was at the hospital," Elizabeth stated, bitterly. "Three months…three months is how long it took. I'm so tired, Jason. You say that it's danger that is keeping us apart-"
"It is," Jason stated, firmly.
"Is it?" Elizabeth gave him an unconvinced look. "You say you are pushing everyone you care away, including me and your son, to protect them and yet you put your name on a legal paper available to look up at the courthouse for anyone curious enough that says you Jocelyn's godfather. Everyone in this town knows you connection to Michael, and yet you haven't stayed away. You still allow Carly to follow you everday, and Spinelli, and Sam," Elizabeth said the last woman's with disgust. "It's only me, Cameron and Jake that you shove on the outside. So no, Jason I don't believe the danger speech anymore."
Elizabeth twisted away from in order to composure herself, then turned around just as quickly because she didn't want to compose herself. Too long had she been bottling thing inside, and she wasn't going to do that anymore. "You know what I think? I think it was a dream for you," she told him, accusingly. "A nice fantasy, but when reality came in you couldn't commit to it. So you use the danger excuse, forcing the choice onto me to absolve yourself of all responsibility."
"That is not true," Jason couldn't believe Elizabeth was being so cruel. "I love you, Elizabeth. I love Cameron, and I love Jake. I don't want them to end up in a hospital bed like Michael! I don't want to be where Carly and Jax are right now!"
"Michael is in the hospital bed because Sonny thinks he is invulnerable. He didn't bring guards, and that was a mistake that will haunt him and Carly's life forever. But you are not Sonny, Jason," Elizabeth stressed out, angrily. "You would never needlessly put your family's life in danger. You have always stepped up…but never for me."
"You don't like guards. You don't like when I take your choice away from you," Jason ran through his hands aggravated. "Elizabeth, what else am I a supposed to do then put it in your hands?"
"When I was twenty, yeah, I didn't like being followed. Johnny and Francis were the only ones that I came to like. When I was twenty I didn't like my choices away because all I had to worry about back then was myself. It's been years Jason, and I don't have those luxuries anymore. Jake is our son. Half mine, half yours, or that's the way it's supposed to be. The choice should be ours together, instead you made me feel like all the weight on my shoulders. It has been on my shoulders through our entire relationship if you can even call that."
"So…everything's my fault," Jason stated, his expression blank. Inwardly, he hurt in ways that he never thought he could hurt before. No one had the power to hurt him like Elizabeth did.
"No," Elizabeth shook her head. She blinked her eyes, trying to fight back tears. She had promised herself she wouldn't breakdown, not until after she left. "Not telling you about Jake, that's on me. The months afterwards, I'll take that, too. When there was nothing in the way of being together? That's what's on you."
"So…you're mad that I what Elizabeth? That I didn't chose you?" Jason stared her, aghast. How had he not chose her? He chose to put her before their love, he chose to push her away so that he never see he ended up like all the causalities in his life. "What about all those times that you chose Lucky over me?"
"Chose Lucky over you?" Elizabeth shook her head. "You really blind, aren't you? In 2002, I was stupid. I was young, and I was afraid of what I felt for you because it was more than I felt for anyone else. I made mistakes with Lucky and Zander, ones that I regret to the deepest part of my soul except for getting Cameron out of the mess. I could never regret that. But since then…I have always chosen you Jason."
"I chose you when I forgave Courtney for hitting me with her car while high, because you loved her. I chose you when I helped with the procedure to save Sam's life. I chose you when I found out I was pregnant and I came to you first, not Lucky because I wanted you to be the father. Not him," Elizabeth stared at him through a sheen of tears. She knew that would almost break her, and she knew it would hurt Jason, but it needed to be said. "I chose you when I kept it a secret, because I thought you loved Sam and I didn't want to hurt you or her. I chose you over and over again, and you think just because I didn't chose to be with you right away means that I didn't chose you?" Elizabeth shook her head, and started walking towards the door. Jason reached out to stop her, but Elizabeth recoiled from his touch. "No! Don't touch me," she told him, harshly. If he touched her, if he held then she might lose all resolve to do this and given in again.
"Elizabeth, please," Jason said, his voice raw with emotions.
"No. This is goodbye, Jason," Elizabeth told him. "I'm leaving Port Charles. I'm taking my kids, and I'm leaving."
"What?" Jason wondered why no one told him. Then he immediately knew why because everyone in his life feared that he would go chasing after her, because he would. He would follow Elizabeth to the ends of the earth even if she didn't believe it.
"I've everything already packed," she told him.
"But I thought you and Lucky…" he trailed off.
"Lucky just wants to stick it to both of us, that's the only reason my kids and I suddenly exist once more to him. He wants to raise Jake to mock you, and to put me in my place after he is done with Sam then Sam can come running back to you," Elizabeth stated, with a thin smile. "While I'm not going back to Lucky, I'd rather stick around and watch that skank worm her way back into your life. Hearing you become Jocelyn's godfather hurt, but if I heard that you and Sam got back together…it would kill me inside. It would destroy a part of me, and send me out of control…I don't want to revisit what that was like. I ended up with Ric last time that happened."
"Elizabeth, Sam and I never…" Jason began.
"Really?" Elizabeth snorted. "Wow. Jason, why do you think she's suddenly up in your business again? With her tight tub tops to show up the boob job, and barely there skirts? She's reverting back to the person she was when she first came to Port Charles, which actually a shame. I thought Sam had grown up a little bit in the past few months with Lucky, but I guess you can't teach an old dogs new tricks."
Jason's brows furrowed. Now that Elizabeth mentioned it, Sam was over here a lot. She said she needed to see Spinelli, but Spinelli was never here half the time. He resisted the urge to smack his forehead, and groan. God, how could he not seen what Sam was up to? It's the same act that she used to get to Sonny. "Elizabeth, just wait," Jason stated. "Let's talk about this."
"I'm done talking, Jason," Elizabeth shook her head. "Talk is cheap, and that's all we have ever done. I'm leaving, and there's nothing you can do to stop that. Maybe in a few years…I'll consider letting you see Jake, but right now, I am to mad to even consider that option. Maybe that's selfish of me, but I've been selfless and look where that's gotten me."
"You're not even going to tell me where you going?" Jason asked, his heart breaking inside of his chest.
"Italy. My sister and her husband invited me to their villa. It's about time, don't you think?" Elizabeth stated, her cheeks red from holding back the tears. "I have to go, Jason."
Jason stared at her, sadly. "I know…I can see that," he whispered out, and he could see it. He saw how Elizabeth was fraying around the edges, and it killed him to think he played a part in breaking her down. "I just…is there any hope? At all?"
Elizabeth looked at the door, and not at him. "I don't want to give you any because I don't know if there is, and if there isn't then I don't want to be anymore cruel than I already have," she said, her voice choked with emotions. It felt like her heart was bleeding inside of her chest.
"What if I prove it?" Jason asked, desperately. "What if I prove that I am committed to you? What if I prove that I love you? What if…if I prove it and I let go of the excuses, let go of the fears?"
"Then prove it," Elizabeth said, simply. "And then I prove it to you." With that she walked out of the penthouse door, and Jason felt himself sink onto the couch. His face was twisted into despair, and he wondered how he let his life fall to pieces. How did he let the woman that he love doubt him so much? How did he let himself have doubts in Elizabeth? With his head in his hands, Jason Morgan cried while out in the car, Elizabeth also cried with similar thoughts plaguing her.
The next day, Jason Morgan decided it was a day for change. He had to prove himself, and there was a big mess that needed cleaning up. He had his family waiting for him in Italy for the day he could show them that he was still the man that they loved, and not the one he had been.
Rrs are appreciated.
This may be a long fic in the future, but right now I have other things in work. Three fics of my own, one with my sister who goes by Winchesterfurl4life on here, and a Sherlock/Gh in the works as well as NCIS/Gh in the works. Then I have a Harry Potter/Doctor Who I writing. There will be a while before I get new long stories posted because I'm pacing myself. Thanks for reading!
