A/N: This is the first story of my very strange Jar-Jar series. Originally, this story was going to be a one-shot on it's own, but after a couple of people asking me, I've added a few more. I'm sorry to tell you Jar-Jar haters, but he does not die in any of these stories, seeing as I don't hate him that much (in fact, I don't really hate him at all, I just enjoy making fun of him). It's mostly just him making a fool of himself (as usual). I don't own anything here, got it?

It was yet other normal, horrible day for Jar Jar Binks. People burning figures of him, people throwing rotten tomatos at him, and people mooning him on the street. Right now, Jar Jar was just trying to find a bathroom to wash off that tomato (and a bit of dung that some how got in there) off his face.

As he was walking, he past by a room where Anakin Skywalker and his master, Obi-Wan Kenobi were talking. Jar Jar, being a curious Gungan and all, stopped to listen for a minute. He stood behind a wall while the men talked

"So anyway," Anakin said to his master. "What do you think of Padme?"

"Well I'll admit, she is quite attractive, but not my type." Obi-Wan replied. "Why do you ask?"

Jar Jar, who was still listening, thought about Padme's beautiful body and drooled a little.

"No reason." Anakin said quietly, his face turning a light pink.

"You wouldn't happen to be, oooh, interested in her would you?" Obi asked, smirking a little.

"No! Of course not! I-I'm a Jedi remember?" Anakin cried out, his face turning from pink to a bright red. Obi-Wan just grinned.

While Jar Jar was listening, Mace Windu walked by, stepping on Jar Jar's foot (you see, he didn't even see him, and even if he had he probably wouldn't have cared). Jar Jar let out a cry in pain and hopped about on one leg. Anakin and Obi-Wan, hearing the noise, looked out the door. But by then Jar Jar had already hoped off on one leg to find some band-aids that you couldn't see him. Obi-Wan and Anakin shrugged and walked back into the room.

"Well I'm off." Obi-Wan said to his Padawan, getting his coat on . "Have a good day."

"Wait!" Anakin stopped his master. "I was just wondering, um, say I know this man, we'll just call him, um, Panakin, wants to know how to get this woman to like him-not Padme in paticular mind you-" He added, blushing again. "Just, any woman."

Obi-Wan smiled and sat down.

"Is this Panakin a Jedi? Because he should realize by now that that's ille..."

"No, no! Of course not master. He just wants Pad-, uh, I mean this woman to like him as a good friend..."

Obi-Wan sighed and shook his head. "Might as while play along with him, if he must learn the hard way."

"Well, maybe first I would tell her how good she looked that day. Then take her out for a nice dinner. Then, when you really got her, tell her she's sexy."

"Sexy, master?" Anakin asked, now interested. Right at that moment, Jar Jar came back, limping on his now bandaged up foot. Unfortunately, he didn't catch all of what Obi-Wan had just said and was about to be very misled.

"Yes, sexy." Obi-Wan replied.

"Sexy?" Thought Jar Jar. "Whata isa thisa word? Mesa neva heard it before."

"You see, when I was younger, I was quite the ladies' man. I would go around yelling "Hell-ooo sexy. You wouldn't believe how well that worked." Obi-Wan gaze happily into space. "Yep, those were the days."

Anakin looked at his master in amazement and awe. Jar Jar had the same look on his face too.

"Wow!" Jar Jar thought. "Thata soundsa kickass! Mesa haveta try this

With that, Jar Jar walked off to find someone to try the word out on.

Jar Jar walked for a long time, trying to find someone to talk to. But everytime he did, they ran away from him in fear(as usual). Finally, after searching awhile and having many tomatos thrown at him, he finally found someone. This person was a rather fat little lady with curly grey hair. She didn't seem to notice Jar Jar (that's probably why she didn't run away) so Jar Jar took this as a chance to try his new word out on. He cleared his throat, stood up straight, and yelled out to the lady.

"Hey-ya sexy!" He called loud and clear as the woman looked up at him in shock. "Wassup!"

The result was a scream of pain from Jar Jar and the scream of "PERVERT!" from the fat lady.

The woman had Jar Jar in a tight headlock while the poor stupid Gungan screamed for help. Hearing the screams of help, Obi-Wan and Anakin came running to the rescue. By the time the two Jedi got there, the woman was already on top of Jar Jar, beating the lovin' crap out of him. Wasting no time, Anakin and Obi-Wan worked together to try to get the fat lady off of Jar Jar.

Finally, after quite awhile, the two men managed to get the lady off of Jar Jar.

"Why the hell were you doing that for?" Obi-Wan asked the woman, his hand on his hip. The woman didn't answer, but instead gave Jar Jar one last punch and ran off, shooting Jar Jar "the finger" as she ran.

"What did she do that for?" Anakin asked the Gungan as he helped him up. "Did you say something to her?"

"Mesa didn't do anything." Jar Jar whimpered pathetically. "All mesa do wasa tell her that shesa wasa very sexy."

"You called her what?" Anakin cried out, his eyes wide open.

"I can't blame her now for doing that to you." Obi-Wan said quietly, looking at Jar Jar as though he was nuts.

"But, mesa thought people liked being called that." Jar Jar said, looking up at the two with big eyes. "Mesa thought it wasa nice thing to call people."

The two men stared at him with shock for a moment. Then finally, they burst out into laughter.

"Ooooh man, you totally messed up there man." Anakin said, still laughing. Finally, the two men walked away laughing, leaving a very poor confused Jar Jar just sitting there.

THE END! YES, I KNOW IT WAS SHORT, BUT THAT'S HOW IT WAS MEANT TO BE.