The good little solider, that's what Sam had been all her life, even as a child. She almost always did just what she was told, followed every order, every rule, every regulation. On those rare occasions when she didn't she always had a damn good reason, and those reasons more often than not included saving lives. So why shouldn't she break the rules now? Why shouldn't she say to hell with regulations? She would be saving a life. The life of someone they all cared about. The life of someone she cared about.

Janet Frasier was more than just someone Sam cared about, more than just her best friend, and it had taken Sam a long time to work that out. She had no idea when it had happened, when she had fallen in love with her best friend, she just knew that it happened sometime before the upgrade gantlets, Apophis's super ship, and that moment just before she thought she was going to die and all her thoughts and feelings were about Janet.

When she didn't die she did what any good little solider would do. She locked everything she was feeling away in a safe place and then buried it as deeply as she could get it. Not to do so would have been risking her career and more importantly what she already had with Janet and Cassie. Then Anise/Freya should up with her damn za'tac machine.

"Colonel O'Neill admitted that in the moment before the ship's shields went down his thoughts and emotions in that moment were of you. He said that he cared about you, more than he should." The Tok'ra said as she watched Sam carefully. "Were you covering for him the first time we did this?"

"Yes." Sam answered honestly.

"You were aware of his feelings for you?" Freya asked next.

"Not until that moment." Sam replied.

"And because his feelings are against your military regulations you tried to hide those memories for his sake?"

"Yes."

The colored ring on the machine began to swirl and change but it didn't change to a solid blue. Sam was still hiding something. "I need you to tell me how you felt in that moment, Major."

Sam hesitated as she looked at Jack. She didn't want to admit how she felt in that moment. She didn't want to hurt him. He was her friend and she cared about him, and she would never cause him pain, at least not intentionally.

"Its ok Carter." Jack told her. It was just the three of them and Teal'c in the room with Janet in the gallery. Sam's guards were outside the door. "Nothing leaves this room, remember. Whatever's said, it stays between us."

Freya nodded her confirmation of this. "You have my word, Major Carter. I will tell no one what has been reveled here, only the results of the test."

"You have my word as well." Teal'c said with a slight nod of his head.

Jack looked up at the gallery. "Doc?"

"Of course." Janet said over the intercom as she looked right at Sam. "Sam knows I have her back, always."

Sam sighed. If this went much further, and the painfully tight knot in her stomach was telling her it would, would Janet still feel that way? How many of her friendships would she have to jeopardize before everyone was satisfied that she wasn't a goa'uld sleeper agent?

"Sam." Janet said softly. "This is the only way to prove you're not a za'tac."

This was so clearly a no win situation. She either had to continue or she had to let her best friend put her into a medical coma for what could end up being a long time. She knew she wasn't a za'tac, she knew why the machine was reading that she was, and she could so very easily put an end to this. Sam sighed softly and nodded for Freya to continue.

"How did you feel in that moment, Major?" Freya asked.

"Guilty." Sam finally admitted.

That wasn't the answer everyone was expecting.

"Guilty?" Freya repeated. It took a moment to think it out and then she added, "Because you do not feel the same about Colonel O'Neill?"

It hurt to see Jack look like he'd been sucker punched but Sam answered honestly. "Yes."

That should have been it. That should have cleared the reading, turning the circle blue. Sam had told the truth. The circle was still showing orange which told them that Sam was still hiding memories. For several long moments the room was silent and tense. Then Freya closed her eyes, her head dropped, and when she looked up to speak it was Anise who said, "Colonel O'Neill's feelings for you surfaced in that moment because it is impossible not to think of the one you care so deeply about just before you die. You were thinking of someone in that moment, Major Carter. Not O'Neill, but the one you feel so deeply for it's a part of you, they are a part of you."

"Yes." Sam answered, her voice thickening with emotion.

Ancient eyes took Sam in for so long that it made her squirm. Then Anise asked, "What were you feeling in that moment, Major?"

"Regret." Sam answered.

"Regret?" Anise repeated.

Sam did her best to nod with her head with it strapped to the chair. "Regret, fear, sadness I haven't felt since loosing my mother."

Orange was being taken over by blue more strongly but it wasn't enough to make the Tok'ra stop. "Explain Major. Please."

Sam wanted to close her eyes, to hide from them all, from what she was saying, doing, feeling. She wanted to feel in control again, to go back to hiding from and ignoring the truth. She felt like she was standing in front of a dam about to burst, trying to keep it from breaking by pushing against the cracking, crumbling rock, but knowing it was pointless and that she was about to be swept away in the onslaught. Maybe being kept in a prolonged medical coma wouldn't be so bad? A nice long nap might be nice. If she let the dam break she would not only be risking the career of a third person, but she could be risking losing two of the most important people in her life, three if she counted Jack.

"If you will not or can not continue Major we have no choice but to believe you to be a za'tac." Anise said. "Dr. Frasier will be forced to put you into a medical coma to keep you safe from yourself."

Sam's gaze went up to Janet who stood as close as she could get to the glass of the gallery.

"Just answer the damn questions, Carter." Jack barked at her.

Janet smiled. "It'll be ok Sam."

Would it? Sam really hated Anise/Freya and her damn machine. Tearing her gaze from Janet she looked at the focal point of the machine again. "I was regretting that I'd never had the courage or strength to tell her how I feel about her. I was afraid of losing her even though she wasn't mine to lose. I was sad because I thought I'd never see her smile again."

"You've kept the memories of these emotions hidden to protect her?" Anise asked.

"Yes." Sam answered.

"Because they are against your military's code of conduct and because of the rule about fraternizing?" Anise asked.

"Yes." Sam answered.

"And because you fear your true feelings will do harm between you?" Anise pushed.

Sam gave in and closed her eyes. "Yes."

When she opened her eyes Anise was staring at her with that gaze that said she'd lived more than Sam could even imagine. Sam really wished she would knock that off. She didn't like it when people could read her so easily. It even annoyed her when Janet did it.

Finally Anise said, "You are no za'tac, Major Carter. You have not been programmed to harm anyone, and the kind of harm you posse to yourself is not something I can fix."

"Wait." Jack said as he glared at Anise. "You just said she isn't a zantac. Why is she still a danger to herself?"

Anise ignored Jack while she walked over to release Sam from her restraints. "The Tok'ra do not perceive gender and sexuality in the same primitive way humans appear too. The host and symbiote will often times have different preferences. I myself find Dr. Jackson very attractive while Freya for some odd reason prefers Colonel O'Neill, though honestly I don't see what she could possible see in him."

"Hey." Jack protected.

Anise continued to ignore him. "Kadiri, my host before Freya, and I loved the same woman, a beautiful, elegant, intelligent female Jaffa. Our beloved was tall and slender, as strong if not stronger than any male Jaffa." Across the room Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Her skin was as dark as ebony, a head as bald as Teal'c's, and eyes bluer than your own." Anise smiled fondly at the memory as she helped Sam from the chair. Those old eyes now turned to Janet while Anise continued speaking to Sam. "I believe Kadiri would have appreciated your preference for tiny, tenacious, loyal, and most of all quiet fierce."

Sam smiled a small weak smile that nearly broke her heart. It felt wrong to smile just yet, but she couldn't help herself. Janet had taken offence at what she had called a backhanded compliment.

"She practically called me a terrier, Sam!"

"To be fair, Janet. I'm not sure the Tok'ra even know what a terrier is."

Before she left Anise pulled Sam aside to speak with her privately. She reminded Sam that the goa'uld who'd ruled over humans as false gods saw humans as slaves and beasts of burden. She told her that the decrees of those false gods were meant to keep humans breeding so the goa'uld would always have hosts and slaves. Anise was probably right but that didn't really change things. What she felt for Janet might not have been morally wrong, but it was still taboo socially and more importantly it was even more against the regulations than Jack's crush on her. Sam did her best to avoid Janet after that and she managed pretty well until that damn Entity got into her head.

The whole time that thing was in her head Sam was screaming, calling out to those around her. She could see and hear what was going on but couldn't respond. When Janet came into the room and was telling to Jack about her living will and the DNR, Sam heard the crack in Janet's voice, which was already off, thicker, deeper, because of her emotions. When the Entity transferred her into the memory nest she saw and heard what had happened with her body. The way Janet had said her name when she saw her body on the ground, the way she'd ran to her, and the look on her face as she glared at Jack.

"I had no choice." Jack whispered.

"I know." Janet replied.

But the look on her face said that if Sam was gone, if he'd killed her, there would be no forgiveness, no understanding. She would blame him for loosing Sam for the rest of her life. It was another one of those moments no one would ever speak of openly. It was the moment Jack O'Neill realized that Janet was in love with Sam. After she'd been downloaded back into her own body when she opened her eyes the first thing she saw was Janet's face, her smile, and the unshed tears in her big brown eyes. The first thing she felt was Janet's hand holding her own. The first thing she heard was Janet's voice saying she'd be all right.

Confined to the infirmary there was no running from Janet anymore. She still wasn't completely clear on what she feared more back then. Losing Janet as a friend entirely, or learning that by some miracle Janet loved her back. Facing that Janet didn't feel the same why would have put strain on their friendship, it would have affected her relationship with Cassie. Sam had been faking it since high school, she knew if she wanted a career in the Air Force she'd have to make personal sacrifices. She might not have ever had happy ever after but she could have been at least content as long as she had Janet in her life as a friend. And what if Janet returned her feelings, than what? How could they possibly move on from that? What would they do? What could they do?

In the dimness of her infirmary room after her friends had all checked on her, alone with Janet, with her tear shimmering brown eyes staring down at her, her smaller hand holding onto her own in an almost painful grip, Sam had listened as Janet had yelled at her for scaring the hell out of her again.

"I'm sorry." Sam said, giving the smaller woman one of those cheeky little smiles of hers.

Janet groaned and shook her head as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "What am I going to do with you?"

Sam's smile faded when she noticed Janet was trembling. "Janet…"

Before Sam could say another word she was silenced by a kiss that had honestly taken both women by surprise. Their feelings for each other were easier to ignore when they both thought they were one sided. Now that Pandora's box had been opened they'd faced a lot of hard choices.

Don't Ask Don't Tell. Every aspect of Sam's life was clouded in secrets, half truths, and outright lies. No one who didn't know them could tell anything had changed. The people who did know them, if they suspected, they never breathed a word or let on that they knew. For quiet some time they thought the only one who knew about them was Jack. Sam knew that it wasn't easy for him at first, but over time he became their biggest protector. Well, Jack and Teal'c. Sam had started to notice that whenever someone tried to flirt with her or Janet and it got a little out of hand the big guy would warn him off. Everyone knew Teal'c saw Sam as his a little sister, and scuttlebutt around the base let Sam know that people were saying Teal'c had it bad for their CMO, so no one questioned why Teal'c would always warn people to back off. Because of Cassie no one ever questioned the amount of time Sam spent at Janet's, and since they'd been friends since meeting when Janet was first assigned to the SGC no one ever thought about their girls' nights out or in for that matter. It also didn't hurt that for some unknown reason Sam seemed to attract the interests of the male aliens they came into contact with. She'd actually had an Asgard pinch her ass once. Janet laughed so hard when she told her she gave herself hiccups.

If only they'd known their time together had a time limit. Those were the happiest times of Sam's life despite everything they had been forced to do to have their careers and each other too. Every moment had been precious to them because they knew it could all go away in an instant. Never in her wildest dreams had Sam ever thought that instant would involve Janet being killed in action. She'd thought their secret would be exposed, goodness knows they had a ton of people out to get them and could have and would have used their relationship against them and the SGC. Sam had even considered herself being killed in action, her luck had to run out at some point right? P3X-666. Sam's luck did run out but it wasn't her who fell. Janet was gone. She'd lost her lover and her best friend. Cassie had lost another mother. This wasn't right. Janet being dead wasn't right and she was going to fix it.

The first thing she needed to do was find the right solar flair. Then she would need to get as much done as she could before actually going into the SGC. Thankfully she had plenty of time to work from home. After grabbing Emmett Bregman, the pain in the ass documentary film guy, by the front of his jacket and slamming him into a wall when he tried to talk to her after Janet was shot, General Hammond thought it would be a good idea if she took some time off. Sam used the time well. Once she knew when the solar flair would happen she had her time frame. She used that time to write two programs, one that would give her access to the Gate and one that would send the message. The message turned out to be the harder of the two. She couldn't send a lot, and it would be best to just get to the point, but she had to make sure she sent enough to convince everyone to change what would be their future. They'd done it before, when they traveled to 1969 and again when they got the warning about P4C-970, so hopefully they would do it again. She just had to make sure to send the right incentive.

Once Sam was ready she headed to the Mountain. She went when she knew the activity level of the base would be low, the Gate wouldn't be in use, and there was as few people as possible who would try and stop her. Stepping off the elevator she came face to face with Siler who was surprised to see her since she wasn't suppose to be there.

"Major." Siler greeted.

Sam smiled. "Relax Sergeant." She reassured. "I'm not really here." She gave a bit of a shrug and then indicated the box she had tucked under her arm. "Didn't really feel like being home alone but don't really want company either, so I thought I'd come down and work on the Spider for awhile. Be with people without actually being with people, ya know?"

The man nodded his understanding. "I'm glad you're going to finish her. If you need a hand with anything just give me a shout."

"Thanks, I will." Sam replied. She walked off as if she were going down to the garage were she'd stashed the classic Alfa Romeo Spider she'd been rebuilding as a gift for Janet. She'd found the long forgotten old car in a distant corner of a scrap yard while looking for parts for her motorcycle. It had needed a lot of work just to get it to start but the moment she'd laid eyes on the little roadster she knew she had to get it for Janet. She was going to use the car to cheer Janet up after Cassie left for college, kind of a "Yay, you don't have to drive a mom car anymore!" present. The pain in her chest was almost too much to bear and she nearly had to stop to catch her breath, but she continued despite how badly missing Janet hurt.

Sam barricaded herself in her office and went right to work. She booted up her computers and then fished out two flash drives from the box of car parts she'd been carrying. She hadn't been in her office since before the funeral and before that she'd been in shock and numb. It wasn't until now that she noticed one of Janet's lab coats and her favorite coffee mug. They'd discovered a planet awhile back that seemed to have vastly superior medical technology and were scheduled to finally make contact within the month. Janet had been like a kid waiting for Christmas. Her eyes were so bright and her smile so big as she talked about the possibilities of what they could learn or gain from the planet. Picking up the lab coat Sam held it just under her nose and took a deep breath. Tears burned at her eyes at the familiar scent. If this worked, if she succeeded in doing what Janet had done for her so many times in the past, then maybe she would still be able to give Janet the Spider and Janet would get to see her medical wonder planet.

Setting the lab coat aside Sam hacked her way into the control rooms computers using a back door she knew about from her time with the Entity. Once she was in she picked up the first flash drive and slid it into USB port. She entered her commands and hit enter. Her program worked perfectly, it took control and began the sequence she'd programmed. It locked out the control room's access to the computers so they couldn't stop the Gate and it locked down the Gate room so no one could shut down power. Then it began dialing. There was a beep to let Sam now it was time. She picked up the second flash drive and plugged it in.

The alarms sounded as the chevrons began locking in. George Hammond, who was on his way home for the night, came running down the spiral stairs. "What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know, Sir." Harriman replied. "The Gate room locked down and we're locked out of the system."

"Well unlock them." Their commanding officer ordered.

"I'm trying, Sir." Harriman replied.

As Harriman worked Teal'c and Daniel showed up and not long after that Jack came running in. "Damnit I was almost out the door."

"The Gate is dialing out?" Daniel asked as he tried to help. "Dialing out where?"

In the Gate room the familiar blast of the event horizon filled the room as the seventh chevron was locked. "It dialed Earth." Harriman reported.

"It dialed itself?" Jack asked, confused.

"General, there's a transmission being sent through." Harriman reported.

"What sort of transmission? And from where if not here?" Hammond asked.

It took a moment but Harriman reported. "It's encoded, Sir. I don't know what's being sent but I know who's sending it."

"Who?" Hammond demanded.

Harriman turned to look at the men standing behind him. "Major Carter, Sir."

"Carter's not even on base." Jack argued.

Siler spoke up then, "Yes, she is. She said she was going to the garage."

It only took a moment for him to figure it out. The gate dialing it's own address, transmitting an encoded message, and he bet there was something funny happening on the sun right about now. "Stand down."

The order came to a surprise to everyone but it was Jack who said, "Sir?"

"You heard me." Hammond replied. "Stand down. Let the message go through."

"Sir?" Jack repeated.

"If I'm right about this Colonel than Major Carter is trying to save a life." Hammond replied as he looked over at Jack.

Jack understood instantly and nodded. "Standing down, Sir."