"Oyah, oyah…" muttered Orihara Izaya to himself, glancing down from the top of a building at the street below. "Hm, hm, what have we here?" he smirked.
His eyes were fixed on a certain couple down on the sidewalk. From a distance, they may have looked normal. But if one looked closer, as Izaya was, they would see a tall man with bleached hair and a bartender outfit, adjusting his sunglasses – and a foreigner woman, blonde and serious-looking. Izaya shook his head, annoyed for some reason. It was Heiwajima Shizuo and Vorona.
Izaya took out a pair of pocket-size binoculars from his coat pocket and zoomed in on the two. "Hm…" he hummed to himself. "Is this a date? Has our monstrous brute succeeded in getting himself a girlfriend?"
Shizuo was saying something to the young woman, handing her a can from a vending machine and saying something, smiling a little. Vorona, stoic as usual dipped her head and said something back, making Shizuo laugh a little and shake his head.
His smirk widening, Izaya lowered his binoculars. "Ne, I hope you don't mind me joining in on the fun, now do you, Shizu-chan."
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Shizuo glanced at the woman walking next to him and took a drag from his cigarette. "So, uh…" he said. "Where do you wanna go? You said you wanted me to show you around Ikebukuro, right?"
"Affirmative." Vorona said emotionlessly. "That is what I had said." She looked up at him. "Where are the best places in Ikebukuro?"
He scratched his head. "Well, there're all those anime places, but those two from Kadota's group would know better…" he thought a loud. "There're lots of places to eat – but somehow I always end up going to Russia Sushi so…" then he glanced up, a thought hitting him. "Hey, you ever been to-"
A flower sailing by his cheek cut him off and he turned around with a growl. Who he saw smirking at him with a bouquet there made him even angrier. With an enraged roar, Shizuo ripped a stop sign from the street and began to whirl it around above his head. "GET! THE! FUCK! OUT! OF! IKEBUKURO! YOU! GODDAMNED! FLEABAG!" Vorona looked up at Shizuo, her eyes a bit wider than usual and he glanced back at her out of the corner of his eye. "Hey, Vorona, I'll be back in a while." He managed to say in a tone that did not sound like he was going to kill someone (or if he was going to kill someone, he'd do it gently). He turned back to the smirking Izaya. "Izaya-ku-un!" he growled.
Passerby inched back and Izaya shook his head. "Oyah, oyah, whatever have I done?" he asked with a laugh in his voice. "Have I interrupted your lovely date, Shizu-chan?" In answer, the sign was flung at him and as he playfully dodged. Izaya began to laugh. "Oh you should see your face right now!" he said, flicking his knife out, setting the flowers down on the curb. "It's amazing how angry you get just from seeing me!" He turned on his heel, his coat flaring out around him. "Catch me if you can, Shizu-chan!"
"You're not getting away, fleabag!" yelled Shizuo, running after him, clearing the crowd with a leap off someone's car.
Vorona followed. (Did she think that this was just a very… Alternative tour of Ikebukuro?)
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"BUKKOROSU!"
"Death threats even though you'll never catch up to me?" a laugh. "Ohh, there goes another vending machine…!"
"JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY!"
"Uwaah! That was a whole car just now!"
"GET THE HELL OUTTA IKEBUKURO, IZAYA!"
"Oh goodness me! Was that expensive? I hope they don't make you pay for that…!"
"I'LL STICK THIS POLE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE EATING A ROAD SIGN IN A FEW SECONDS!"
"Mmm, kinky…!"
"RAAAGH!"
"Ooh, you're just going back to your native protozoan language now aren't you?"
"FUCK YOU!"
"Can't think of anything more creative, Shizu-chan?" Izaya was enjoying himself. He was enjoying himself immensely. "Are you sure you should be talking like this in front of a lady?"
Shizuo glanced at Vorona. "You don't mind, right?" he asked.
Vorona shook her head, running alongside him. "Negative. I am learning many new words and expressions that I had not seen in my Japanese textbooks. Please continue."
Izaya stopped on an overhang of a large building and looked down. "Oh dear, Shizu-chan, have I completely ruined your date with Vorona-chan? That's her name, isn't it."
Shizuo roared something unintelligible and threw a vending machine. Vorona looked blankly up at Izaya. "Negative. The outing has been very educational. I refute the statement 'this is a date', however. Shizuo-senpai and I do not have that sort of relationship. Also – affirmative. I am called Vorona."
"Ooh!" trilled Izaya avoiding the huge projectile. "Did you hear that, Shizu-chan? You've been friendzoned!" he jumped down from the awning and continued to run.
Shizuo was close behind him. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU! THIS WASN'T A DATE! BUT YOU'RE COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY EITHER WAY!"
"Big words you're using there, Shizu-chan! I hope you know what they all mean!"
"BUKKOROSHITEYARU!"
That was when Shizuo was due to be hit with a truck. But the truck was a few seconds late.
And that was also the moment Orihara Izaya knew he fucked up.
The first thing he saw was Shizuo pulling Vorona out of the way of the truck, looping his arm around her waist – and Izaya almost blinked in surprise at the change from brutal strength to gentle precision. Izaya stepped forward, his eyes fixed on Shizuo who had, for the first time, looked away from him when they were playing cat and mouse. The first time he had stopped the chase and turned away completely.
For some reason that hit Izaya like a blow. It had hit him harder than Shizuo's arm around the young Russian woman's waist, more than his eyes fixed on her and not – him (but he didn't know why those two things hit him that hard).
And something that hit him even harder was the truck.