NOTES: After watching dirty dancing I began listening to Patrick Swayze's She's like the wind and felt that it kinda suited the way Finn acted towards Rae in series 1. So if you can listen to it whilst reading, please do.
Its in Finn first person style. A one-shot story. I will try to publish more in future and add more to the Jealousy story for those that enjoyed it.
Hope you enjoy.
Opinions welcome.
What is it about her? How can she piss me off so much merely by breathing? She doesn't even see me. It's as if I don't even exist around the likes of fucking Archie. I swear if she looks at him with those does eyes one more time I'm gonna fucking smash those specs into his face! Christ! Why does it bother me so much? He's my best friend for fucks sake. Get your shit together Finn! You don't even like her – she's loud, boisterous, and miss I-know-everything-about-music. Honestly?! Beastie Boys was a cheap shot. She got lucky!
Is that...? Rae? Why is she her? She doesn't even like football... What is it about her Raven hair? I swear it has some mystical ability to just transfix anyone in its vicinity. Why now!? Like I can concentrate on a game with her fucking traipsing about.
Fuck it! Better now than never. You cant go on pretending to hate her. That's no foundation for a relationship. Who am I kidding.. what fucking relationship? She's turning! Fuck - "RAE!" She cant leave. Go!
The fuck was I playing at earlier? She's just a girl – yeah she might be the coolest girl in Lincolnshire but to rage up like that. I don't hit people. I don't fight. I don't get so angry over pathetic pricks like that, but I swear I wanted their blood. How does she do this to me? Shit! Here she is. She'll bring it up. She's gonna realise I'm just a show off douche with a bad attitude. I've well and truly buggered this up now. The fuck were you thinking Finley?!
Test of the century, lets try out this tape. See if she really knows her shit. Crap! I hope she likes it. What if she doesn't think its a joke? Bad fucking idea! Fuck it! Gotta go along with it now... "What? I thought this was your favourite song?" SHE SMILED! Fucking hell, she smiled. At me. A proper smile. Fuck...what have I gotten myself in to?
She's right there. You should kiss her dammit. No! Why would I kiss someone who thinks its okay to mug me off for no fucking reason? What did I even do? So much for fucking friends... But she's right there. I can feel her breath on my face, feel the slow rise of her chest against mine. I cant just stand in here. This is no time for kissing. I have to know what's going on.
She doesn't want to be friends?! Wha- what did I do? Why now? Why do I feel like such a colossal fool? Why... Why does it hurt so much? Did she slap me? Punch me in the chest? I swear that's what it feels like. I cant even look at her. Her enticing eyes. Why didn't I see this coming? There was no way it could've worked between us? There was no way she could've felt the same.
I need her. I need her more than anyone right now. But she doesn't need me. She cant care... Rae? She's here. She does care. I cant.. I cant cry not now, not with her. How does she make me feel so comfortable? The woman I cherished most has just left me alone in this world but Rae can ground me. Piece me back together again...
It feels right, lying with her. Talking openly with her. No-one could've grounded me like she did. She said she didn't wanna be friends but here she is. She couldn't of meant it. One minute she's there, the next she's not – but right now, in this moment, she's here with me and ill savour it. Tell her how I feel. I like her. I like talking to her. Why? How can I want someone this badly so soon?
She's here. At my house. She's here, staying at my house. What!? Shit! Fucking tea and hot water Finn! HOT water tends to burn if you don't pay fucking attention. Shit it stings! Right. Plan of action – get her to come to the rave. Yes? No?
YES! This night will be amazing. I can – We can go together. I can tell her. We can dance. She'll be there!
Its exactly how I imagined. She's there, arms around my waist. Screaming with joy. I swear I've never felt so happy In my life. This night will be epic!
WHAT! No. No, no, no, no, no, NO! Archie and her? Her and Archie? Kissing! I thought she was over him. I thought they had moved on. But she's kissing him. SHE IS KISSING HIM! No. No, this was OUR night. MY night. Who am I fucking kidding? She'd never be interested in me? Just a stupid dream that could never be real. Could it? No. Of course not. She likes Archie. Clearly. Time to move on... But can I? How can I move on from her when I've never felt what I've dreamt of all summer. To be with her.
She was right there. Behind me. I can still fell her breathing on my neck. Her arms around my waist. Right there. How it was meant to be. But I cant keep fooling myself. She was never interested in me. But Chloe... Chloe is. Time to man the fuck up Nelson. She's there dancing with you. She's interested. Rae isn't. Show her that you don't care. Try showing yourself...
This isn't right. Not Chloe. Chloe isn't who you want. You cant do this. Its Rae – Rae who wants Archie, Danny, not you. Rae, with her raven hair. Rae. Rae. You cant do this. Not to a mate. Fuck it, I need a . Now. "Chlo, look I need a smoke. In a bit yeah?"
"Arghhhh! Why!? Why not me?" She doesn't want me. Why him? Why not me? I cant. I cant do this. I cant be around her. I cant.
Urgh! Last night was fucking shite. How can he sit there, with his fucking sunglasses on? God, he's such a prick... Rae? Shit! Don't look at her... O f course she'd fucking sit next to him! It may be the only available seat but fucking really?! No. Get your shit together Finn. She doesn't want you. She never did. Get over yourself. It was just a fantasy. See! He just kissed her! May have been on the cheek but its more than you could do... Time to move on.
Where is she? Why isn't she with Arch? Shouldn't he be her date? I'd want to bring her along, why wouldn't he? She deserves better. But she doesn't want it...
She.. She looks amazing. Knock out. Beautiful. Where has she been? Why hasn't she been around?
She... She likes me?! Bollocks! No. Definitely not. No... But she looked at you- NO. Coincidence. But what if it hadn't of been. Chlo said it was true but was it. Fuck! I need a smoke. I need to get away. She cant like me. Not me. She kissed archer. Not me. No.
"Rae?" It cant be her. Why would she? Why would she follow me? It cant be because of what she said, could it? She likes me. She really likes me? Not Arch. Me! Do you know what Finley. She was brave enough to tell a whole party the truth about her. Time to truth the fuck up! You need to know why. Why she wouldn't tell you? Why she likes you. And she need to know how you feel. You cant lose her this time. Not again. She's there, in your reach. Walk up to her. Tell her. Don't let her escape, don't let her blow away again. Do it. NOW!
"Finn..."