How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, ohoh
Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard
~ "All of Me" by John Legend
. . .
This wasn't how it was going to be.
That night.
It changed lives.
Both of their lives.
The lives of everyone else they were close to. Oliver swore it was for the better, but what if it wasn't? What if it all ended in heartbreak? What if this was the biggest mistake of both of their lives? Did he regret that night? This was something that he would NEVER regret. Even if it all went to hell, he wouldn't regret it. That night had been the best night of his life thus far. It had felt like he knew who he was and the world suddenly made sense…
Felicity was something special.
It wasn't her beauty or her intelligent or her heart. Those were all marvelous things, but it was the way that she could see right through you...that you could see who you were deep down...who you were going to be. It was how she made him feel, how she made him feel like he was this better man that she always saw. And there was just something so different between them...like they completed each other in the most cliche way.
This was love.
"Oliver?"
Her voice saying his name even sounded different now. He turned to her, clad in just his boxers. She was standing there, hair down, glasses back on, and with the sheet wrapped around her.
"I woke up and you were gone…"
She almost sounded sad and worried. Oliver closed the distance between them, his hand lingering in a caress along her cheek. "I'm sorry… I just needed water and I didn't want to wake you. You know I don't sleep-"
"Enough. Yes, I know you don't sleep enough," she said quickly and then shot him a smile when he went to argue with her. It was enough to stop the argument.
"You looked like an angel sleeping there inside of a dream...and I just didn't want it to end," he told her before leaning in for a kiss. He took his time, deepening it and letting their tongues dance for a moment.
"You flatter…"
"I'm speaking the truth," he told her with a smile. He couldn't wipe that smile off his face if he tried. He was just so happy. For the first time in...he didn't know how long...he was happy. If Oliver could live in that moment or ANY moment with her, he knew that he would be forever happy.
She smiled at him and then grabbed his hand. "Come back to bed…"
There didn't need to be a discussion or argument. He was hers…and she was his.
. . .
Earlier that Day…
Oliver had been working far too hard at Queen Consolidated lately. It had been in an effort to just work. That was it. He slept a couple of hours and he was good. Every day he worked at Queen Consolidated until he needed to put on the green leather and become the Arrow. He'd spend most of the night sharpening arrows and making sure that they had everything that he needed. It was almost like he'd just come back from Lian Yu. Diggle was busy with Lyla and the baby and well, Oliver didn't mind the solitude. Diggle would show up during the day, but Oliver had made it clear that he could have time off.
It was better that way.
The last thing that Oliver needed in his mood was a lecture from Diggle on a daily basis. He'd already heard that he needed to be a better friend to Felicity, but he just couldn't… It hurt too much. He wanted to, but he just couldn't. All he could see when he looked into her eyes was anger and what could have been if he hadn't been so scared. It reminded him of what he'd lost. It reminded him that Ray was the man who was going to marry Felicity…
Oliver would rather live in his world of ignorance.
"Mr Queen?"
He looked up from his desk and was shocked not only to see his assistant standing there, but also Felicity. She was dressed in a beautiful blush colored dress that he'd never seen her in before, it complimented her shape and flared out at the waist. Her hair was down and straight. She looked at him from behind her glasses and there was something about how she looked at him that made him feel like it needed to just be them. Oliver couldn't remember the last time that she made him feel like that.
"It's okay, Jessica," he responded with a dismissive wave of his hand as he got up from his chair. He waited until his assistant was out of the room and the door was shut before he opened his mouth. "I hadn't expected-"
"To see me after the other day?" she asked.
Oliver stopped halfway in his walk to meet her. He'd caught on to the sadness in her voice and it had hit him so suddenly. "Yeah," he whispered as his brow furrowed. "I know that you're right… I haven't been a good friend… I promised to. I took away your choice as far as the team went and I just pushed you away." He paused for a moment, looked down at his hands, and then added in a whisper, "I you're happy with Ray."
"I'm not."
His head snapped up. His blue eyes searched hers and he swore that there were tears hidden in those eyes. "What?"
"You asked if I loved him." She was quiet for a moment. "I don't…" Tears started to fall and she tried to fan herself. When the tears didn't stop, she turned away and towards the window. "I'm sorry… I told myself that I wouldn't cry… It's stupid…"
"Felicity-"
She held up her hand and he stopped before he could get the sentence out. Oliver was silent and just waited. She seemed to be trying to regain her composure. He just wanted to know what was wrong. If he knew what was wrong, then maybe...maybe he could help her. Oliver would do ANYTHING for her. No matter, he'd do anything for Felicity.
He would move mountains.
He'd pick up the pieces.
He'd put her world back into place.
He'd give his life, if it would make things right for her.
Oliver felt like he had to do something when she didn't say anything as soon as he thought she should. Her breathing had evened out and he didn't think tears were falling anymore, but her face was still turned away and the curtain of her golden hair shielded his view of her face. So, he took steps to shorten the distance between them. His hand hesitantly rose and then finally found its spot on her shoulder as it gently rested there. "Felicity? What happened?" he asked quietly. For a moment, he wondered if she'd even heard him, he'd been speaking so quietly. Then she nodded as she sucked in a deep breath and he knew that she'd heard him.
"When I first met him, I don't know what it was… It felt like love, maybe…" she babbled as her hand came up and her finger tapped against her lower lip. "I just…" Felicity turned to him, her eyes were red and glazed over with tears. "I thought that I could get past this…" She shook her head slightly. "This feeling that's between us… I thought it was just different because we were friends first...because I had a crush on you and then it turned into something so much more…" She let out a sigh. "And I'm STILL angry at you…" she told him strongly as she raised her voice a little. Felicity dropped her hand into a fist and turned to look at him. Her voice dropped to a mere whisper. "God, I don't WANT to be mad at you, Oliver…"
His hand ran down her arm and he took her hand, held it up, and kissed it. "I don't want you to be mad at me either," he admitted. Oliver sighed. "But I understand why you are." And he did. Oliver understood that everything he'd done nine months before had affected both of them negatively and he had never imagined that they'd be at this point. This was never how he envisioned it. He'd only wanted Felicity to be safe...to have as much of a normal life as she could.
"You make me SO angry sometimes," she told him as she pointed at him and took a step towards him, her finger hitting his chest before their lips collided. Her hands held onto his arms and it felt like she used all the anger she was harboring against him and poured it into the kiss. It was hard and rough and so unlike Felicity. There was so much passion...so many emotions in just that one kiss. When she parted, he felt like he couldn't breathe. Her head leaned against his, their noses touching as they both took a moment to breathe. "I'm not marrying him, Oliver…"
His eyes met hers and he couldn't hide how happy that made him. It wasn't just because she wasn't marrying Ray because he wanted her...it was because he wanted her to be happy. If she didn't love Ray, then he didn't want her to be trapped in that marriage. She deserved so much more. Felicity was truly someone who deserved the world, which is what he'd tried to give her...it just didn't work exactly the way he thought it would.
"Now what?" he finally asked.
Felicity shrugged and sniffled. "I have no idea…" she admitted. "I guess I just go back to my life… I go back to my building… I go back to my job… I go back to my life where I rarely see John and you-"
"I'm HERE for you Felicity," Oliver reminded.
"I don't think I can be with you...be friends...if you can't honor me having a choice in my life," Felicity explained as she pulled away. He could hear the sadness in her voice and he could see it in her face as her hands grabbed his. "Then we-"
"Come to the Foundry tonight-"
"My passcode might not work anymore," she countered as she tilted her head.
Oliver smiled. "It'll work," he insisted. "Please…"
"You guys don't need me anymore, right? I'll just be in the way," Felicity whispered.
Oliver sighed. He knew that he should have expected this, but those nine months had felt like another lifetime to him...so he could only imagine how long it had felt to her. "Diggle won't be there. Lyla and the baby," he supplied. "His priority is with them… I check in, so he knows I'm alive, but…" He let out a breath as he squeezed her hand. "It's not the same without you… I'M not the same without you…"
"Me either."
"Huh?"
Felicity grinned. "I'm not the same without you either…"
"So," he said and let a beat pass between them. "Where does this leave us?"
Her hands squeezed his and she brought herself up to so that she could meet his lips. "Think about it."
. . .
The End.