The Troubles of Being a Superhero

Cyborg: How many times have I almost been pulled over by the cops for 'driving too fast' or 'not stopping at a red light'? I mean, there are bigger things out there, that we have to deal with everyday, and they think that traffic tickets are the real evil here?

Beast Boy: I think the least they could do is feed us for free. How many times have we saved their asses and what do we get? Regular-priced pizza! AND we have to put up with those zany cops trying to arrest us every time they see us. We can't even freaking eat pizza without them freaking out!

Robin: At least we have Cyborg's technology. We'd be caught off-guard without it. Unfortunately, being the protectors of the city, they don't want to work with us.

Starfire: But are not we protectors of this glorious city as well? Why can we not work together to fight all the villains of this town as well as them? Do they not wish for us to be protectors of their city for some reason?

Robin: It's not that they don't appreciate the extra help, Star…

Cyborg: It's that we're freaks compared to them. We're practically untouchable. We all know that we could easily take down ten regular cops, no problem. It makes them scared of us. That and the fact that we don't have anybody to answer to. They're strapped by regular laws: speeding, jurisdiction, manslaughter, stuff like that. We don't have to and it freaks them out because they can't do a thing about it.

Beast Boy: There's always the fact that we scare them. I mean- what can they do to us? Put us in jail? Ground us? We don't have anybody to answer to and it freaks them out. Plus, you know, Cy's right, we probably scare 'em because we're so much better than them. And let's face it- how many of the bad guys we face every day can they actually face? One out of every…ten? Twenty?

Raven: It can count!

BB: Raven! Why do you always do that? I passed middle school, you know…

Cy: with what? A D?

BB: A B, thanks.

Robin: We know they have their reasons, guys. I mean, they would be in the deep end of almost every fight that happens in this town if it weren't for us. That intimidates them. We answer to nobody. That probably tipped their whole world off kilter because they live by strict hierarchal systems-

BB: Say what now?

Robin: and we have none of that. Why would we? But guys, this is where it gets tricky. They can't keep us tied down with their law because we're too unique. With your powers you could never be put in jail, and clearly familial

BB: What?

Robin: ties aren't strong enough to keep us where they think we should be, so what else is there? The answer is, there's nothing except us to monitor ourselves. We are the protectors of the city. We have to be a law unto ourselves. If one of us goes off the deep end the others have to bring them back. We not only have to monitor ourselves from ourselves, but from the rest of the world. We don't want any bad publicity; we have enough as it is.

Starfire: so, what are we to do, Robin?

Robin: Like I said; we need to monitor ourselves.

BB: Do what?

Robin: Raven, Cyborg: be more careful where your beams land. Beast Boy: try not to destroy any more property in your animal forms. Raven: when you're throwing stuff around with your powers, try to keep it from damaging property. We need to keep this city intact because that's what we're here for.

Starfire: Yes, friend Robin.

Raven: …I'm the only one here who's careful…

BB: So…no more rhino?

Robin: Exactly, Beast Boy. Oh, and Cyborg?

Cyborg: What?

Robin: No more Grand Theft Auto or any other racing games until your driving improves.

Cy: WHAT?

Robin exits. Beast Boy is still trying to come to terms with the fact that he can no longer transform into his favorite animals. Cyborg is incredulous that Robin would try and ban something from him that means so much to him. Raven is still muttering and pouting about how she shouldn't have been included in the chat about being careful. Starfire stares at everyone before deciding to make a custom 'pizza.'