Failings and Feelings
Disclaimer: This is a Rossi/Strauss story, I love Rossi, I love Strauss and therefore I love Rossi and Strauss. I don't own the characters or anything dealing with Criminal Minds, except this story. I don't like the way they killed off Erin, so I change it to suit my own twisted mind. I like writing Erin's kids into my stories, so they will be in a lot of them.
Reviews are appreciated
Note: I'll get back to Family Vacation. Just needed a breather for a few days, I should have the next chapter this weekend.
Aaron Hotchner and Derek organ stood against the wall waiting for the doctor to come out and let them know how two members of their team were doing. Both were taken to the emergency room to be check. Both looked up as the doors flew open and a young lady walked in.
"How are they?" Katie Strauss asked.
Derek pulled up a chair, "We don't know much but they both were fine for the most part when we brought them in. He seemed to be worse than she did. Why don't you set down?"
"I don't want to sit down." She growled. "You're his team you're supposed to protect him. He's not as young as all of you and you let him get hurt? What's the matter with you?"
"Katie, calm down!" JJ and Penelope said at the same time as they approached hearing the young woman yelling.
Turning to stare at the voices, "Don't tell me to calm down…"
"Then I'll tell you to calm down." Came a voice from the direction of the doors, all turned to see David Rossi hobbling on crutches, left knee bandaged and foot in a protective boot, cuts and bruises on his face and arms.
"You don't get to tell me to calm down either. They're your team; you're supposed to take care of each other. They didn't do that, they let you get hurt." She told him getting more and more irritated.
"They did do their jobs, we all did, sometimes accidents happen." Dave told her hoping she would see reason and settle down.
"Don't give me that load of crap, if they'd done their job, you wouldn't be hurt and since we're on the subject of people not doing their job, you're no better than they are." Katie told him getting in his face. "You didn't do your job either."
"Excuse me?" Dave said taking a step backwards almost tripping over his crutches. Morgan grabbed his arm to keep him from falling and helped him sit in one of the chairs.
"You didn't do what you were supposed to either. You promised when you started dating our mom you would always take care of her, never let anything happen to her. You failed…again. You didn't protect her from John Curtis last year, she almost died because of you and you didn't protect her today. I'll never forgive you, Dave." She told him, tears beginning to form.
After what seemed like hours of silence Dave stood, moved toward the younger Strauss, kissing the top of her head, he whispered sadly, hurt evident in his eyes, "You're right. I didn't keep her safe. I failed her and I failed you. I'm sorry." Then he turned and limped out of the hospital. Hotch motioned for Derek and Reid to go with him.
/
Erin Strauss walked out of the ER room she'd been examined in seeing her daughter, Hotch, JJ and Garcia setting looking at each other. Neither Aaron nor Katie looked happy. "Everything okay out here," she asked.
Racing to her mother, "Mom are you okay?"
"I'm fine, they just wanted to check me, but I'm fine." She said looking at Aaron. "Any word on David, no one would tell me anything."
"He's got a broken ankle, jacked up knee, some cuts and bruises, but he's okay." Hotch told her not taking his eyes off Katie. He was visibly upset at the way she laid into Rossi.
"Where is he I want to see him?" She asked. No one said anything. "Penelope, what's going on, where's David?"
"I don't know, he walked out a few minutes ago." Katie snorted before Penelope could go on.
Erin looked at her daughter, "Something I'm missing young lady?"
"Yeah, your husband couldn't take the heat so he just walks away. Things get tough and he…walks…out."
"Oh come on Katie, that's not fair. He's had a really bad day and you laid into him before he even had chance to get out of his ER room." Hotch told her.
Erin Strauss-Rossi looked confused, "Katie, what did you say to him?"
"Nothing he didn't need to hear." She looked right at her mother, "He promised he would take care of you and he didn't. He let John Curtis almost kill you and he let you get hurt today, they all did. I told him and I also told him, I'd never forgive him."
"Katherine Jaclyn Strauss, he did not let me get hurt. He protected me today like he always does. That car hit him not me, he moved me out of the way. Even after the jeep hit him, he made sure I was safe and unharmed. The only reason I let them examine me was because David insisted to make sure I wasn't hurt." Erin told her unable to believe the things she'd heard her daughter had said to her husband. Turning to Aaron, "Does anyone have any idea where he went?"
"I sent Morgan and Reid with him. Let me call and see if I can find out where they are?" Hotch stepped away to make his call.
Again Erin turned to her daughter, "I do not believe you spoke to David like that. You may have just undone everything I've worked so hard this last year to do. Don't you think he blames himself enough for the Curtis thing? We've just now gotten to where he doesn't have nightmares about that time. What John Curtis did to me was and is not David's fault. There are things you don't know." Looking up she saw Aaron walking back.
"He's okay, he's with Derek and Reid." Hotch told her.
"Where are they?"
"Across the street in the park, Derek said he just wanted some air, but didn't want to go too far. He wanted to be close when you were released. They'll meet us at the SUV." Aaron told her.
"Let's go, I really want to talk to him and see for myself how he is." She said, turning to look at her daughter, "I'm not done with you. I'll expect you at home in an hour and you better have adjusted your attitude."
/
Derek pulled the suburban into the emergency room loading area. Erin and Hotch climbed in. Sitting next to Dave, Erin took his hand, "Are you okay?"
"Sprained knee, broken ankle in 3 places, some cuts, scratches and bruises," he rattled off looking out the window seeing nothing at all. His mind was reeling, feeling he thought he'd let go were coming back, flooding his brain. Softly, almost inaudible, "I'm so sorry, Erin."
"David, I know what Katie said to you and you have nothing to be sorry for."
"Sure I do." He simply said not looking at her.
When Hotch pulled into the drive, Dave got out, limped up the walk and into the house. Erin shook her head spoke to the men in the car, thanked them for bringing them home and followed Dave inside.
Jessie met her mom at the door. "What happened to Dave?"
"Where is he?" Erin asked hugging the teen.
"He came in kissed me on the forhead and went into the den." Both looked toward the closed den door, everyone knew if it was shut Dave wanted to be left alone. "Mom, what's going on?"
"The team which included Cruz and I were doing some team building exercises outside, when a jeep had some kind of mechanical failure. David pushed me out of the way, but it hit him. He has a broken ankle, sprained knee and cuts and bruises. We went to the hospital, I was checked over at his insistence and I'm fine, not even a scratch. Somehow Katie found out we were there and she laid into him about not protecting me. She even brought up the Replicator. We both know what that does to him." Erin smiled at her youngest, who had a look of horror on her face. "It'll be okay. I'm going to go talk to him, and then I'll deal with Kate when she gets here."
"Mom the door's closed you know what that means."
"I know, honey. I also know I can't let him get into his own head, I have to make him understand Katie was out of line." Heading toward the closed door, not bothering to knock, she turned the handle and disappeared into the room.
It was dark, the curtains were drawn, no lights, she saw his shape standing with his back to her. He was leaning on his crutches staring at the credenza behind his desk and a picture. It was of the two of them taken on Maui when she had gone with him on his last lecture. She smiled at the memory.
He spoke so softly she almost didn't hear him. "You were so happy that day."
"Yes, David I was and I'm still happy." She took several steps towards him, "David, every day I wake with you, I'm happy. Knowing I'm Mrs. David Rossi makes me happy. Loving you and being loved by you makes me happy."
"I don't know why? I can't seem to get this being a husband right." Turning to look at her she could see the sadness in his eyes.
"David, you're a wonderful husband. Yes we have bumps like every married couple, but we get through them together, we're good together." Taking his hand, sitting him in his chair, "I know what has you thinking this way. I know what Katie said to you, she's wrong David. You protect me even when I don't want to be protected. You pushed me out of the way today so I wouldn't get hurt and I didn't."
"I know! My head knows, but Erin my heart isn't there yet. I almost lost you when Curtis tried to kill you. I can't stand the thought of being without you." He leaned forward kissing her softly. "Katie just made me realize maybe I can't protect you, maybe you would be better off with someone who can, someone who doesn't put you in danger."
"Listen to me! You do not put me in danger. You've done everything you can to keep the children and me safe. You tell people you're happily married, but you don't give names. You don't carry pictures of any of us. You've done everything right." Her expression turned serious. "As far as Curtis, David you did everything you could. You were there for me after, when I really needed you. You're there for me now. Katie doesn't know the entire story, she knows very little. That's about to change." Kissing him, she went on, "Besides, Agent Rossi, I don't want someone else, I want the original David Rossi. Besides if I get rid of you, I'd have to have the name plate on my door, my stationery and so many other things changed. Why would I want to put the bureau through all that?"
This brought a full blown laugh from him. "Erin, you always know how to make me laugh, and feel better. I love you, you know?"
"I know, you show me every day. I love you, David." Kissing him one more time she stood, just as there was a tiny knock on the door.
Jessie stuck her head in the door, "Mom, Katie's here."
"Okay, I'll take care of it, why don't you come in and keep David company? Maybe you two can watch a movie." Erin said as she exited the room.
/
Dave and Jessie sat on the couch watching 27 Dresses, it was one of her favorite movies and he told her he didn't care what they watched. Snuggling into his side, she looked up and asked, "Are you really okay?"
"I'm fine kiddo." He told her wrapping his arm around her, kissing the top of her head.
"You know mom's really pissed at Katie."
"I know."
Smiling up at her bonus father, "Usually it's me chewing on and yelling at you. It's nice to have her busting someone else's ass for once."
Dave chuckled, "Better watch your language when she comes back. I don't agree with Katie's methods, I do understand she was upset and worried about your mom."
"Dave, upset or not, she…we all know you would never let anyone hurt mom on purpose. You're crazy about her and when you love someone like you love mom, you always watch out for them."
"How do you know how much I love mom?"
"Oh come on, it's all over your face when you look at her. Not to mention, when you think no one's looking you two can't keep your hands off each other." Jessie laughed watching the look on his face. "What, I watch. I know when people are in love. You've made mom happier than I've ever seen her, you seem pretty happy yourself."
"I am kiddo. I never would have thought a few years ago that Erin would be the one who would make me this happy."
Stretching to kiss his cheek, Jessica asked, "I know we've all done things that has upset you or hurt your feeling. I think we sometimes forget that you have them. You're so good at hiding how you feel. You keep so much bottled up, buried. You don't let anyone, except maybe mom and Hotch see the vulnerable side of David Rossi. I know I'm guilty of taking my frustrations out on you more than anyone. I am sorry I do that. I'll try to be more aware of how and what I say might make you feel."
"How did you get so wise at 16?" Dave asked her, propping his foot on the table in front of them.
"17!" She shrieked, as he laughed again. Both settled in to watch the movie. It wasn't long before she looked over and he was asleep.
/
Erin opened the door to the den to find both her husband and daughter sleeping. She knew Dave must be tired, she was sure getting hit by a jeep, then hobbling around with a bad knee and busted ankle would take it out of even a younger man. On top of that he had to deal with an overzealous child screaming at him for things that wasn't his fault. Reach for the throw on the chair, she covered them both. She knew he would be sore when he woke; he wasn't sitting in a very comfortable position. As she turned to leave a hand grabbed her wrist stopping her movements. Looking at her hand, as she was pulled gently down on the sofa, "I thought you were sleeping?"
"I'm not in a very good position to sleep, but I don't want to wake the kid."
"I'm not asleep; I didn't want to wake you." The teen told them popping up.
"Good, David you should get some ice on that knee." Erin said standing again. "Do you need something for pain?" She saw him shake his head. She knew he didn't like taking drugs. "Okay, let me get some ice."
"I'll get it." All looked over to see Katie standing in the door. "Anyone want anything else?"
Dave smiled, "a glass of juice would be nice." Watching the young lady nod then turn and head for the kitchen.
Katie returned a few minutes later, handing the ice pack to her mother and the juice to Dave. She leaned in kissed him softly on the cheek and whispered, "I'm sorry."
He knew from the look on her face she was sorry. Hugging her, "its okay. I know you were just worried about your mom, but you have to understand if it's in my power, I won't let anything happen to her, or you or anyone I care about."
Jessie looked at her sister then at her mom, "I know I'm just a kid, but I've come to realize that just because he doesn't always show how he feels, Dave has feeling and we all need to remember that. I'm as guilty as the next if not more so, because I'm the one that usually rants and raves at him. We all need to remember that sometime we walk on his feeling. He's a good man and he loves us even though he doesn't have to. I'm going to do my best to remember to be more considerate of Dave's feelings. We all fail sometimes, we're human. Picking ourselves up, trying again and not blaming each other is the best we can do."
Erin looked at her youngest, "How and when did you get so smart?"
"I'm a natural, think about it. My mother is one of the top women in the FBI and my bonus dad is the best profiler there is, some of that was bound to rub off."
Erin looked at the people in the room. She loved them all even when they pissed her off. She and Katie had reached an understanding, she'd learned something about Jessie today and she knew she had her work cut out for her taking care of David and his injuries. She knew he wouldn't make it easy, but she would do as Jess told her and remember he had feelings.