So this is my first ever Glee fic- it's femslash so don't read if you don't like that. The rating will probably go up as the chapters go by. It basically takes into account everything up until the start of season 3 (ignoring the whole "Quinn going crazy and wanting Beth back" rubbish). Hope you like it, they'll be more on the way soon.
"You should tell her"
"You should definitely tell her"
"I think it's gross you have feelings for a midget, but you should tell her"
"I think it's nice, it's like Romeo and Juliet only without the zombies"
"There are no zombies in Romeo and Juliet, Brit, you feel asleep in English and dreamed Mrs Thomas was a zombie, remember?"
"Oh yeah…I feel bad I hit her with those dusters…"
"You guys are not helping me at all. And Brittany if this ends up on your absurd internet talk show, I will not be happy"
"Cross my heart, I won't tell a soul. Especially not Lord Tubbington, he can't keep a secret from anyone"
Quinn Fabray wasn't the type to talk about feelings, at all, ever. She'd gotten through years of bullying, eating disorders, an unwanted pregnancy and being kicked out of home all without talking to anyone. But this was different somehow. Santana and Brittany were not only her best friends (although that didn't necessarily mean much with Santana's changing allegiances and Brittany's stupidity), they were also the only out lesbian couple at their school. So when Quinn came to grips with the fact she was in love with a girl, who else could she talk to?
"I don't see it Quinn, I mean she's a Broadway freak show. She colour codes the contents of her locker. And she's dating Man Boobs McGee. You could do better." Santana, Quinn noted, always had a colourful way of speaking. Brittany stretched out and laid her head in Santana's lap.
"She has farm animals on all her tops" said Brittany lightly "I really like that. Although a sad lack of unicorns"
"How did this even begin?"
Quinn knew she'd never tell them that, especially not Santana. That would give her ammunition for their next big fight. Even she herself didn't really know. Rachel Berry hadn't always been Quinn's obsession, she was sure of that. The first year they'd been in the glee club together Rachel was just an annoying girl, who she tried (unsuccessfully) to not think about. It was hard though, she was so gosh-darn irritating. And of course Finn had been so in love with her, even when he eventually got back with Quinn. It was strange how things were clearer in retrospect. Quinn never really understood why she didn't get upset over Finn leaving her, or Sam or Puck or any of those boys leaving. She'd thought at the time it was because she was mature, but now she saw it was simply because she didn't give a fuck. She'd never really loved or cared about any of them, expect as status symbols. She'd cried more about being alone than about the fact she wasn't with Finn anymore.
In their second year of glee, Quinn began to notice Rachel more. Little things, the way she did her hair, how ridiculously ambition she was, how she was actually, terribly good at singing. How she smelt- a mix of perfume and fabric softener, and something altogether original. Perhaps she recognised something of herself in Rachel- an over confident front covering up for insecurities. Quinn didn't understand what it all meant for a long time. She thought it meant she had to hate Rachel even more, which was something she spent a lot of time and effort on.
It wasn't until their last performance at nationals in New York that she understood. Maybe because it came to her as a physical feeling, not as an intellectual realisation. She saw Finn kissing Rachel, on a huge stage, in the spotlight, and she felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. She felt like she was on a lift that wouldn't stop, it just kept going down and she was about to throw up. How on earth had she let herself fall in love with Rachel-goddamn-Berry?
Then there was that summer. When she'd tried to run away from it all, to sleep with older men and forget about Rachel. She cut her hair off, she got a nose ring, listened to a lot of RiotGrrrl. The RiotGrrrl was good, but the rest of it wasn't her. And of all the people who could have come and reached out to her, it had to be Rachel. Santana and Brittany tried of course, for old-time's sake and perhaps some displaced guilt. But Rachel, out of all the glee-clubbers and cheerios, out of all the teachers and preachers Quinn had known in life, Rachel Berry was the only one to ask her to come back to who she really was.
She had to stop herself from kissing Rachel right there under the bleachers. She wanted to kiss her gently, on the check. Not a passionate kiss, just a kiss. The kind that tells someone you love them in a different kind of way. But she didn't of course, people were watching. Because Rachel was with Finn. Because girls like Rachel weren't gay, and girls like Quinn definitely weren't.
"Ok fine, you don't have to tell us" Santana's voice snapped her back to reality "but you do have to do something about it, ok?"
"Ha, like what?" Quinn's laugh was humourless. She couldn't see how her situation could possibly have a good ending.
"Tell her Quinn" it was Brittany who spoke this time "You love her because she's a good person right? And a good person won't hurt you, even if they don't love you back. She wouldn't tell anyone, or make fun of you, that's not what Rachel's like."
There was a part of Quinn that never ceased to be amazed by Brittany. The girl babbled nonsense about zombies and unicorns half the time, and then pulled out the wisdom card just when you needed it most.
"What do you think Santana?"
"I think you've got more chance with the midget if she wasn't dating Godzilla's effeminate, half-human son. I say the first order of business should be to break up Finn and Rachel, then be super-hot in front of her and turn her gayer-"
"I don't think that's how it works honey-" Brittany tried to explain
"then get her really, really drunk-"
"That's bad advice Santana-"
"And just go for it. If she rejects you, just say it was because you were drunk too, or say you don't even remember."
Brittany had sat up by this point, and was shaking her head against all of Santana's advice.
Quinn saw she had two options. One: be mature and adult, tell the girl how she felt and deal with a possibly heart breaking rejection. Two: creating a scenario that ensured even if she was rejected, no one would really know but her and Rachel, and even that could be blurred if they were drunk enough. She really only had one choice.
"Ok Santana, I'm going to need your help"