They met on the swings outside the bookstore where Castle had a book signing a few weeks ago. They had just finished the case that ended with Castle dressed as a zombie last week and ever since Kate had thought about what Castle had said both in the hospital corridor and at the end of the case. Would she ever be ready? When she felt safe was a pretty crappy answer, but she knew he would drop it if she said that. She could admit to herself that she allowed herself to flirt with Castle at the end of the case. It felt good to let him know that she was almost in a place where she could accept everything that happened that day and that her walls were coming down.
Castle sat down with a big smile, "Hey Beckett, so what's up?"
Beckett inhaled and looked away from Castle then exhaled a shaky breath. She was silent a minute and Castle quickly noticed her distressed demeanor.
"I lied. I remember everything." Beckett repeated to Castle what she had told her psychologist.
"What are you talking about? I'm confused." Castle replied.
Beckett sighed and ran her hands through her hair, "The shooting."
Castle was taken aback, "Everything?"
Beckett nodded yes. She couldn't keep it a secret any longer. It was eating her up inside and causing her to think irrationally.
Castle inhaled and nodded in acknowledgement. She studied his face and it was odd because he didn't seem angry, more shocked.
He didn't look at her but stared straight ahead his jaw clenched, "Why? Why not tell me? Why not say something?"
He was in fact angry, "I needed time to process everything that happened Castle."
Castle looked at her, "Apparently a lot of time."
Kate nodded yes.
"That's what you do best though is keep secrets."
"Castle, it's not every day you tell me that you love me. So, yes, I needed time." Kate shot back.
Castle swallowed and Kate's eyes hung on his as she waited for him to say something in return. He didn't, only nodded.
Kate inhaled, "Are you mad at me?"
Castle shut his eyes and Kate's gaze followed his as he ran his hand over his face. In that moment she knew past any fears that it was going to be okay. She reached up and removed his hand gently from his face and turned his head toward her. She tilted her head to the side and smiled concerned. He brought his hands to her face and cupped her cheek bones letting both his thumbs come to wrest on her pouty bottom lip he brushed it with his fingers, "I've never been able to stay mad at you Kate Beckett, you're my crutch."
Kate smiled and brought her hands to his face, "And you, Rick Castle are mine."
"Well then what are you waiting for?" Castle asked and Kate smiled leaning in to capture the kiss she had longed for, for so long.
"Mmmmhhhmmm…." Beckett trailed off taking his lower lip into her mouth as they each sat on their respective swings.
"Why detective," Castle held her gaze.
"Yes?" Kate looked at him with big doe eyes.
"I do believe you liked that."
Kate pulled back from Castle suddenly, "Castle, wait."
Rick exhaled thinking he had lost her, yet again.
"You really love me?" Kate was looking him deep in his eyes.
"Of course I do, and you know that. Though, you can't bring yourself to say it, instead you settle for 'you care a lot.'"
"I do care a lot. Very much." Kate reasoned.
Rick looked her deep in her enigmatic eyes, "How much do you care Kate?"
At this concept her eyes became large, "Enough to know that I'm in love with you. You're in love with me and all I want is you. Just you. God Castle! I can't think straight anymore! I can't work like this." She stood up, "I can't keep this secret from you anymore! When we were in the hospital you asked more or less if I would ever be ready. I replied maybe, when I felt safe. Rick, I wanted to be ready for a while now, but that…that couldn't happen. It wasn't the right time."
"And now?" Castle wondered.
She shrugged and sat on his lap with a smile. Her hands around his neck, "Now, I know the only safe place for me is with you."
"I like that place." Castle smiled his forehead lean against hers.
"Me too." Kate spoke quietly and leaned in to kiss him. The two people in the park kissed each other deeply as they sat on the swings in the park oblivious to the rest of the world, and gave one another a taste of what the other needed. Kate smiled scrunching her nose up as Castle shook his head at her she took his bottom lip in her mouth again and sucked on it. Rick smiled and she laughed.